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HankHank

Jesus is the chillest bro of all time because he took a three-day nap

He's just the chillest guy of all time. Turn the other cheek. Try to, you know, bring world peace to the world. Dude, bro. Took a three day nap. How chill is that?

Categorizing the resurrection as a 'nap' is an irreverent characterization that cannot be factually verified.

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Jul 9, 2025
#29509
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Modern alarm clocks have become too chill; we need irritating sounds like fire alarms to actually wake up

We gotta get back to making alarm clocks great again. Yeah. Because though, I, I need to have like the fire alarm sound. I need Max's hiccup. Hiccup. Yeah. To wake me up. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, that's okay. But like, I need, I need a grading irritating sound to wake me up. Alarm clocks have gotten way too chill with a nice, like gradual. The light ones. Yeah. That kinda like light up your room a little bit with sunlight. The ambient noise. Fuck that. Don't, that's, that's too new agey shit for me.

This is a subjective lifestyle preference.
Loss
Jul 9, 2025
#15885
Big CatBig Cat

Klay Thompson playing with Luka Doncic will basically be 'Lob City'

I will say this about Klay Thompson. It does feel like if it doesn't work with Luka, he's gonna be in a... I don't know where it would work, because that's just Lob City for him.

Klay Thompson averaged 14 points on 41.2% shooting with the Mavs. Dallas went 39-43. Far from the exciting 'Lob City' comparison — Thompson is a spot-up shooter.
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Jul 9, 2025
#29510
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL jersey rankings that put the Chargers at #1 and Commanders at #32 are mostly accurate

Would you like me to tell you some of the results I actually agree with pretty much the top 10... Number one is chargers. Okay. Number one is Charger. I like it... [Commanders] dead last is correct. Okay. Yep. And honestly don't necessarily disagree.

Jersey rankings are inherently subjective aesthetics.

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HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
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HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.