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Loss
HankHank

The Celtics might be cursed due to the rare Kristaps Porziņģis injury

I spent the full Uber up there when I thought I had my backpack. I'm thinking I'm just getting on the flight. I'm like, we're cursed, we're cursed, we're cursed, we're cursed. Like is there a chance we're cursed? This is bad.

The Celtics won the championship easily in 5 games despite the injury, proving they were not cursed.

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Void
Jun 12, 2024
#13434
Big CatBig Cat

Joey Chestnut's ban from the Nathan's contest is a sign of the late stages of the American empire

Joey Chestnut has been banned from the Nathan's hot dog eating competition on July 4th in America is at its knees. It's the end of it. It feels like the late stages of an empire. This is the sign.

While metaphorically a 'disaster' for fans, Joey Chestnut did eventually face a major career shift by leaving the Nathan's contest, though the American empire remains intact.
Win
Jun 12, 2024
#13436
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Joey Chestnut is the best eater of all time in the history of the world

Everybody eats. Joey Chestnut is the best person, the best eater of all time in the history of the world. He needs to be rich for that fact.

In the world of competitive eating, Chestnut holds almost every major record, making this a widely accepted take in that niche.
Loss
Jun 12, 2024
#13439
Big CatBig Cat

Joey Chestnut should be a billionaire

What does Joey Chestnut, what does Jeff Bezos do better than Joey Chestnut? Not a lot. What does Elon Musk do better than Joey Chestnut? Like, I want Joey Chestnut to be so rich that he can do whatever he wants.

Economically, he is not and will likely never be a billionaire. This is a satirical value judgment.

More from Hank

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Void
HankHank

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.

This is a deliberately broad franchise judgment rather than a claim that can be definitively proven or disproven.
Void
HankHank

The WNBA badly mishandled its Finals scheduling

Instead of doing it in an arena where it's like a 5,000 capacity arena, they could have done it at the regular time. They chose to do 12:30 in the afternoon.

This is a judgment about scheduling strategy and is subjective.
Open
HankHank

There is real tension between Jalen Brown and the Celtics

I don't think it's Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown really have personal beef. I think it's just, you know, Jalen Brown, Celtics, and that's turning into Jason Tatum in some ways. But I think there's definitely beef between Jalen Brown and the Celtics organization.

The existence and extent of internal tension is not definitively verifiable from the transcript alone.