Joey Chestnut's ban from the Nathan's contest is a sign of the late stages of the American empire

Joey Chestnut has been banned from the Nathan's hot dog eating competition on July 4th in America is at its knees. It's the end of it. It feels like the late stages of an empire. This is the sign.

Joey Chestnut should be a billionaire

What does Joey Chestnut, what does Jeff Bezos do better than Joey Chestnut? Not a lot. What does Elon Musk do better than Joey Chestnut? Like, I want Joey Chestnut to be so rich that he can do whatever he wants.

The Celtics might be cursed due to the rare Kristaps Porziņģis injury

I spent the full Uber up there when I thought I had my backpack. I'm thinking I'm just getting on the flight. I'm like, we're cursed, we're cursed, we're cursed, we're cursed. Like is there a chance we're cursed? This is bad.

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in four games

Yeah. I mean it's, it is over Knicks in four. It's over.

Victor Wembanyama is a disappointment if he doesn't win seven championships

He has to win a minimum seven championships... has to. If he doesn't, disappointment.

Carlos Alcaraz and Jannik Sinner are going to have sex with each other because of their mutual respect

These guys are gonna fuck if they haven't fucked already. Holy shit. They're, they respect each other so much as competitors and as rivals, they're going to fuck each other. It's not even a question.