Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

NHL goalies should be pulled from the ice with at least four minutes remaining

I think the goalie should have been pulled with like six minutes left in the period... no, I think they just like four and a half... I think you pull the goalie super early... it should definitely be more than one minute 45 seconds.

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

The Eagles no longer have the NFL's best offensive line

Eagles automatically having the best offensive line in the league, no longer the case. The offensive line was terrible today.

The Chiefs will bounce back and win the AFC West

The Chiefs are gonna come back. Everyone's down. The Chiefs are gonna come back.

The Eagles will win the Super Bowl over the Chargers

Eagles still win the Super Bowl over the Chargers. The Chargers are gonna get healthy throughout the year.