The Suns are officially dead after one of the most embarrassing Game 7 performances ever

Suns are cooked, absolutely cooked. We're calling it. This game. Suns are cooked, absolutely cooked... This is an embarrassing performance game seven at home... The Suns are playing like they have Chris Paul and four James Hardens in a game seven. That's how they're playing.

Chris Paul is a fraud and the best NBA player of all time that has sucked

I'm going to call it right now. I'm going to use a hard D-bomb. What's that? Hank? A fraud. ... Chris Paul is literally the best NBA player of all time that has sucked. ... Don't get too committed to one player who's 37 years old and chokes in the playoffs.

David Stern saved the NBA by nixing the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade because Paul is a loser

Go back to when the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade didn't happen because David Stern nixed it. I think David Stern accurately knew like, 'Hey, the league's better when the Lakers were winning championships, I'm not going to let this trade go through just because I know that [the Lakers] will never win a ring when Chris Paul's on the team.' I think it wasn't a matter of making a super team that made him step in... I think he actually saved the NBA.

The Jets might start the 2026 NFL season 4-0

I'm fired up. I think the Jets might start 4-0.

Nudes are better than sex

Nudes are better than sex. Nah, I'm too fat to have sex, so that's why I like nudes. Blow jobs only.

The New York Jets will break their playoff drought this season

I probably should have said for my preemptive take that the Jets were gonna break their playoff drought, but I might just be God.