Tiger Woods is the only person who can pull off a mock turtleneck; anyone else would look like a tube of cookie dough

The mock turtleneck, short sleeve, tight shirt, people are going nuts over and you're going to see a lot of guys that try to pull off this look that Tiger's got right now. And it's only Tiger that can pull this off. If you or I showed up, it would look like we got a big tube of cookie dough that got left out in the sun for three days.

LeBron James is noble for missing the playoffs to step away like Bruce Arians and give young stars the spotlight

Like Bruce Arians, LeBron decided that now was the time to step away from the game and put the spotlight on some up and coming players that might not be able to get that much attention if LeBron was still around dominating the conversation.

LeBron James will eventually declare himself a huge Ja Morant fan and try to get him traded to the Lakers

I'll just call my shot right now. [LeBron James] is going to become the biggest Ja Morant fan, baby Braun. Cause you know Ja Morant will do something insane in the playoffs and he'd be like, holy shit, I'd love to play with him. Can we get him traded to the Lakers?

Will Smith is actually at his most employable right after a public scandal

I feel like now would be the time to get Will Smith. Everyone's talking about him. It's like the safest time to fly as after a plane crash. And so like, if you want Will Smith to not slap somebody, now's the time that you bring Will Smith around.

Men avoid laughing at comedy because they don't want to surrender control of their consciousness

Tough guys never dance and tough guys often don't like laughing. They don't like comedy. If I'm doing comedy and there's someone in the front row with their arms crossed and they're daring me to invade them... it's because they don't want to give you control of their consciousness. Women tend to be more okay with giving you the control.

If your career or dream feels like it sucks, that means you are on the right track

One of the underlying themes of crashing is if it sucks, that's how you know you're doing it right. It's not like this sucks. Why me? It's no, this sucks. I'm in the club. Like that's the path... if you're shitting in your pants and think you're a fraud, you're on the right track.