Kawhi Leonard and Steve Ballmer are a match made in heaven

The Kawhi Leonard robot mixed with Steve Ballmer's over-the-top insane, insane energy is a match made in heaven.

Adam Silver is on a war against toxic masculinity and can't fine a man for crying

[Steve Ballmer] will just cry. And guess what? Adam Silver, you can't fine a man for crying. As a matter of fact, that's the last thing Adam Silver would ever do because he is on a full war against toxic masculinity. And mental health is a big issue.

Overweight men should wear busy patterns to hide their chests

Listen, when you're overweight, you have a choice. And the choice is lose weight or wear designs and patterns that shield your man tits.

The 2026 World Cup final was boring and sucked.

It was boring ass soccer. It sucked. It made me thankful that the World Cup's over, that football's back. Now we can get back into real football, which I'm very, very thankful for. But that was actually, I think that was the best way to end the World Cup, because I'm totally fine with no more soccer now.

Fanatics Fest is a cynical place designed only to take money from fans.

It also seems like the most cynical place ever. Like, you can go to an autograph festival or a fan festival and you know that the guys are being paid to be there. And they're still like, happy to see, interact with you, all that shit. It just seems like every single thing about being at that place is just designed to take money from the people that are there.

Bryson DeChambeau is being targeted by selective rule enforcement.

I think that Bryson definitely did it and it's definitely against the rules. And he got caught for it and they enforced it against him because he's a bad boy. He's had some run-ins before. I don't think the R&A or whatever, I don't think they're particularly happy with Bryson right now.