I was 100% confident the Capitals would beat the Penguins once game six went to overtime

I knew it was going to happen. We all knew it was going to happen. I was so confident in that team when it went to overtime. If we had lost that game, the whole series was over. There's no chance that we're going to come back. That's a mental midget thing.

I might eat poop just to 'alpha' PFT because his hesitation is getting sad

I've even said to you, I might just eat poop just to alpha you because it's getting so sad what you're doing. You are like, I can't do it. I can't do it. You came off the plane. You're like, what if I eat a mushroom with a little poop on it?

Zach Miller's gruesome non-catch against the Saints was definitely a touchdown

It was a touchdown. Yes, it was a touchdown... and almost lost his leg for a non-touchdown. It was crazy.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.