The MLB All-Star Game sucks because the teams don't have enough time to haze each other

The my theory as to why the All-Star game sucks is that the teams don't have enough time to haze each other so there's no team building before the game starts. You don't get to like tape a guy to a wall... there's not enough buy-in on the team.

I have never been as wowed by home runs as I was watching Aaron Judge at the Derby

I have never been wowed by home runs like I was... Aaron Judge's home runs made me just sit there like holy shit. How can a human being look so effortless and hit the ball 500 feet?

Aaron Judge's height will eventually drive him toward playing football

With Aaron Judge, the thing about him is he could be the face of baseball. His problem is he's too tall. I'll tell you why. He is a guy that once he starts having a lot of success in a sport that's maybe not as athletic as some other sports, people will be like, why didn't you play football? And then he'll start talking about football. All roads lead back to football.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.