The Ryan Lochte robbery incident in Rio is like the worst Jason Bourne movie of all time

Since it's swimming, we get to watch this play out like the worst Jason Bourne movie of all time.

An unwritten rule of the 'bro code' is that you break it to save your own ass

That's an unwritten rule of bro code is that you break bro code to save your own ass.

The number one lie in sports is a coach claiming they aren't interviewing for other jobs

Number one [lie] is every time any coach anywhere says they're happy with their job and they're not interviewing. That's number one lie in all sports.

The Brewers are what baseball fans say they want

The Brewers are everything that I think most people say that they want in a baseball team now. The knock against the direction baseball's been going for the last 10 years is you strike out, you hit home runs. And that's the way that you do it with the Brewers.

The Broncos would have won with the quarterbacks reversed

If quarterbacks were reversed tonight, who wins? Broncos. I think Drew Lock on the Broncos would've won tonight.

The 24-team playoff is the ongoing Savannah-ification of sports

It's the ongoing Savannah-ification of sports in America. It's a sad day.