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Void
May 22, 2017·Who's Back
#19447
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If your wife goes away on business, you should move farther away from her to make her miss you more

Here's a pro tip for all you guys out there that are married. If your wife goes away on business, move farther away from your wife. Make her want to come to you.

This is terrible relationship advice given for comedic effect.

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Loss
May 22, 2017
#19442
Big CatBig Cat

Adam Silver texted LeBron James and told him to play bad for ratings and revenue

Did LeBron James get a text from Adam Silver being like, 'Hey, LeBron, all anyone can talk about is how the NBA Finals are nine days away after you sweep the Celtics. We're going to really need some more cash here, so could you just suck for an entire game and look totally disinterested?'

There is no evidence the commissioner texts players to fix games; the Cavs actually lost this game (Game 3) but won the series 4-1.
Push
May 22, 2017
#19440
HankHank

The Celtics are in year five of a rebuild and are closing in on LeBron James' tail

We're in year five of a rebuild. We have the number one draft pick. We're in the Eastern Conference Finals. We're clearly coming up on LeBron [James]'s tail. As long as we can dominate LeBron in the beginning of his career and then dominate him on the way out, I can be content with that.

The Celtics did eventually reach the Finals after LeBron left the East, but at the time of the take, LeBron still won the series 4-1 and remained the dominant force in the East for another year.
Void
May 22, 2017
#27485
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If we die in the van, LeBron James should be our pallbearer so he can let us down one final time

If we die in Vanny Woodhead, let's have LeBron James as one of our pallbearers so he can let us down one final time.

The take is a joke about a future hypothetical funeral and a past performance; it doesn't have a factual truth value.

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Open
Oct 23, 2026
#31716
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The prediction resolves when JMU's 2026 football season ends or the team wins another game, whichever comes first.
Open
Oct 23, 2026·NBA Preview
#31717
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Wizards' 2026-27 regular-season finish will determine whether this playoff-seeding prediction was accurate.
Open
Oct 23, 2026·Week 7 Picks
#31720
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.

The 49ers' 2026 defensive quality and this Week 7 result can be evaluated against the skepticism expressed here.