The Warriors are dead and crumbling

The Warriors are dead. They're dead, and they have totally crumbled. They're falling apart at the seams. Steph Curry's throwing mouth guards at fans. Egregious act, by the way.

Steph Curry throwing his mouthguard at a fan is assault and battery

It's assault, right? Like, let's be honest. It's assault. Steph Curry, I mean, he's an NBA player... he's a professional athlete, probably has some sort of communicable STD, getting hit with that mouth guard. That is grounds for lawsuit. That's assault. I believe it's also battery.

Ayesha Curry's tweet about the NBA being rigged was a viral PR stunt for Under Armour shoes

She could always say, guess what? This was a viral spot for my husband's Under Armour shoes. I got 70,000 retweets, got everybody talking about me... You guys just got Kimmeled, America.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.