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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

NFL players should only be allowed to have sex between September and Christmas to avoid off-season distractions

You're only allowed to fuck between September and Christmas. No fucking after Christmas... so that you're not going to be having kids during a stretch run.

This is a satirical lifestyle 'rule' that cannot be factually proven correct or incorrect.

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Jul 10, 2017
#5340
Big CatBig Cat

Chris Berman retired from ESPN because he knew the All-Star Game was in Miami and he'd sweat too much

Chris Berman retired from the All-Star game and ESPN last winter... I think maybe Chris Berman was like, oh, fuck. The home run derby is going to be in Miami. I think he was. They don't make a sweatshirt that's dark enough to cover up the stains that Berman would be sweating through.

Berman did retire/step back in 2017, but the sweating reason is a joke.
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Jul 10, 2017·Mt. Rushmore
#5341
HankHank

Meditating is a top-four way to cool down in the summer

My last one is just meditating. Meditate... when I said meditating, I meant cool down like when you get hot in an argument. Like when you ever get in a really big argument. You need to take a deep breath.

This is subjective, but widely considered a 'bad' take within the context of the segment's intent.
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Jul 10, 2017·Mt. Rushmore
#5342
Big CatBig Cat

Laying on the bathroom floor is the greatest feeling when you have the spins

This is actually more for when you have the spins, but it still is the greatest thing in the world. Just laying down on the bathroom floor... There's actually no better feeling in the world. It's great. When you're hot, when you're drunk, when you have the spins.

Subjective personal preference.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Celtics are statistically a better team without Jaylen Brown

Jalen Brown has the second worst plus minus of any five time All Star over the past 10 years... Also the Celtics win more games without Jalen Brown than when he is playing... Last year with, with Jalen Brown, they won 66% of their games without, they won 80%... Their entire career with Jalen Brown. They are 263 and 1 31. That's 67% without Brown. There're 60 and 26, 70%.

The stats provided are fictional/hypothetical within the 2026 setting, but presented as fact to support a 'Ewing Theory' style take.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Celtics are no longer eligible to be the NBA's team of the 2020s without Jaylen Brown

If the Celtics rebuild and they get back to like the NBA finals, let's say in like 2029, let's say they win another chip in 2029, that's a different team. Like the core is completely different without Jalen Brown. I don't know that you could consider the Celtics to ever even be eligible for team of the 2020s. Because it's gonna be two different iterations of the team.

Inherently subjective criteria for what constitutes a 'team of the decade'.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

FIFA must change the rule so a red card does not result in a next-game suspension

I think it's just a, a terrible rule that if you get a red card from a game that you're also suspended for the next game. Yeah. You're already serving your punishment by, by sitting out the rest of that game and your team has to go down one player. Why do you have to sit out the next game?

This is a subjective opinion on sporting rules.