Austin Reaves is the true alpha on the Lakers

But the real story outta that game was Austin Reaves. Yeah. Austin Reaves. AKA him. He is him.

Spencer Dinwiddie's career might be over after being nicknamed 'Dinshiddie'

This was his first game since Kyle Kuzma called him Dinshiddie, which is a great, great nickname... and he wasn't good... I don't wanna overstate it, but when you get called Dinshiddie, it might be a wrap.

The replacement of Sierra Mist with Starry is a handout to 'Big Corn'

This does feel like a Biden special... This is a big handout to Big corn. Yeah. To the corn syrup market. Because Sierra Mist was made with real sugar while Starry uses high fructose corn syrup.

It is physically impossible to chug a beer out of the Buffalo Sabres sword

The mc of the event's, like, dude, these things you can't chug out of 'em. You have to drink it slow because you can't chug. They end up spilling. It's impossible to chug. I said, oh, all right. Well I wish you told me that beforehand mc guy.

Connor McDavid has lost his superpower due to injury

McDavid's hurt. And it just sucks... It's like he lost his superpower. So he skates like no one I've ever seen before... And now he doesn't have that. He still has the straightaway speed, I've noticed... but the little cutbacks where he is beating D out of the corner... He doesn't have it.

The NBA product has never been worse

The product's never been worse. The NBA and I don't watch it. So you can say, how do you know the product? It's, it's terrible. And if you're not somebody, I've asked you guys... lead off your show with hockey when football season's not going. But no, you guys stick to basketball and it's horrible.