Takes

I believe everything LeVar Ball says; Lonzo Ball is awesome

I now am believing everything that LeVar Ball says because Lonzo Ball was unbelievable against Cincinnati... He is awesome. And so billion-dollar contract, shoe contract, yep, sign him up.

DeMarcus Cousins will fail in New Orleans because he blames others for his problems

It does feel like he's the type of guy that blames everyone else for his problems because the refs are on him and his teammates stink... It feels like it's not going to work in New Orleans. It feels like he's that type of guy who's like, I'm so talented and the world kind of owes me something.

The 2016 World Series eliminated the ability for anyone to make '3-1 lead' jokes at the Golden State Warriors' expense

The true winner was Steph Curry, because any Cleveland person who tries to make fun of the Warriors can get that [the Indians blowing a 3-1 lead] thrown back in their face... it just basically eliminated the joke solely at the Warriors' expense.

The Memphis Grizzlies will win over their projected win total because Marc Gasol is back and shooting threes

I'm going to stick with the Grizzlies. I'm going to hit their over. Last year, they started something crazy like 60 different starting lineups because of all the injuries they had. They get [Marc] Gasol back. He's going to be shooting threes this year. So they'll finally have one person who can shoot threes.

The Lakers will win over 24.5 games and make the playoffs

I'm going to stick with the L.A. Lakers. Over. I'm going to tease my own show. I got the Lakers in the playoffs this year... Byron Scott out, Kobe Bryant out. Like, Roy Hibbert, out. This team can only go up. That's like 25 wins unto itself.

The Golden State Warriors will stumble in December before turning it on after the All-Star break

I'm on the record. I think they're going to stumble out of the gate. They're going to have a hard December. And then they're going to turn it on after the All-Star break.

Team USA's narrow win over Serbia counts as a 'statement loss'

After the loss against Serbia earlier this week, I know it was a win, but I'm going to call it a loss. I think that counts as a loss. That was a statement lost by us.

We have the 'scoop of the year' for both breaking the Adam Morrison bunker story and then proving it was false

Adam Morrison is like an apocalypse-like guy who has – does he have like gold and cash and he's got a bunker? ... [Big Cat:] And that was the scoop of the year, but we have an extra scoop of the year. [PFT:] Right. He actually doesn't have an apocalypse bunker. So we double scooped. It doesn't matter that the first one wasn't true. We double scooped.

Derrick Rose can't dunk anymore

Derek Rose doesn't dunk. He can't dunk anymore. He dunked once last year, and it wasn't even a dunk. He, like, lightly put it over the rim.

Derrick Rose is a 'low-risk, high-reward' trade for the Knicks

I do think it's a low-risk, high-reward. You're never going to get him back all the way. But if you can get, like, 75% of Derrick Rose back, then you're right. It was a good trade. So, I mean, you've got to make that trade if you're the Knicks.

Pre-game Prediction: The Cavaliers will win Game 7 and LeBron James will have a 40-15-10 stat line

Cavs are going to win. LeBron is going to have 40, 15, and 10. Steph Curry, injury talk. Draymond [Green] is going to have a meltdown, probably kick someone in the balls. Cleveland is going to burn to the ground in happiness, and I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life defending Michael Jordan's legacy against LeBron James.

Whoever signs Harrison Barnes to a max deal this offseason—like the Suns—is making a huge mistake

I want to give an advanced thoughts and prayers to whoever signs Harrison Barnes to a max deal this offseason... if we're power ranking, like, which team would be the team to load up on a whole shitload of Harrison Barnes, I'm going to guess the Suns. So thoughts and prayers to the Suns for making a terrible decision.

Cavaliers fans should be rooting for Kevin Love to miss time with his concussion

Kevin Love is seemingly concussed. And if you're a Cavs fan, are you rooting for Love to miss time? I think you are... because he's such a bad fit for this series and playing anyone on defense that I might want Kevin Love not around.

LeBron James will have to move cities or fire his team if the Cavs lose the Finals

It looks like LeBron [James] is going to either have to move cities again or fire his whole team.

Russell Westbrook will win scoring titles but only lead the Thunder to the 8th seed without Kevin Durant

I want Westbrook to shine. I want Westbrook to shoot like 60 shots a game... I think it's time for Westbrook to just be the superstar he is and score average like 40 points a game and barely get the Thunder into the playoffs like the eighth seed.

The Cavaliers will beat the Raptors and face the Thunder in the NBA Finals

So we got the Cavs are going to win. They're going to most likely face the Thunder. [PFT: Oh, you want to get in this?] No, let's do Tressel, then we're going to get to it. I'm just saying that was a bold statement you just made.

The Cavs vs. Raptors series is over and I'm not watching another second of it

This series is going to be brutal to watch. Maybe the Raptors play close for four quarters in Toronto for one game, but I don't even give them that... the Cavs are locked in. They're on a different level right now. So this series is over as far as I'm concerned.

Elena Delle Donne will take the proverbial next step and be even better for the Sky this year

I think we're going to see the next step from EDD [Elena Delle Donne] this year. So I'm very excited about that. I'm excited for the [Chicago] Sky to take the proverbial next step.

The best way to beat the Warriors is to put Kawhi Leonard on Steph Curry

You have Kawhi Leonard guard Stephen Curry and basically make everybody else beat you... while Leonard is not as good a defender as Curry is an offensive player, he's as close as anybody in this league is going to get.

Derrick Rose is in a permanent state of being so hurt that he's actually injured

With Derrick Rose. I, I say he is injured by a thousand hertz. Like he's gotten hurt so many times that it's all like just one big injury for him right now at this point. His body is just in a permanent state of being so hurt that it's injured... His mind, body and soul.