Takes

The Celtics should not re-sign Kyrie Irving and instead let the asset walk.

I feel like I don't care what's going on with the team during the year. Lose that asset. It's all about the assets... for [Kyrie Irving] to do what he did in the playoffs it's like Brad Stevens' problem.

Brad Stevens was labeled a 'genius' by the media far too early in his career.

Brad Stevens' biggest issue is that he was inaugurated a genius too early. Like he was called a genius basically from winning nothing... the national media had him as, like, Pop.

The Golden State Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Finals.

Well, I have to say the Warriors. But, you know, as a fan, I'm rooting against it. But, you know, they're obviously the best team, so boring answer, but there you go.

Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach

Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach. I stand by that take.

The Sixers will win Game 6 against the Raptors and force a Game 7

I think the Sixers probably will win game six, will go seven. But this is a beat. Whenever a team loses like this in a series, you're like, how the hell? I know we're just doing knee-jerk reactions, but how the hell are the Sixers going to come back from that.

I do not miss LeBron James in the NBA playoffs anymore

I don't miss LeBron. I don't miss LeBron in these playoffs anymore. I missed him in the first round. The first round felt hollow without LeBron. But I do not miss LeBron anymore because these are the best playoffs we've had in a very long time.

If the Nuggets or Trail Blazers win the NBA title, I will swim in a sewage pipe

If the Nuggets or the Blazers win an NBA championship, I will eat Portland or Denver's asshole, meaning I will swim in one of their sewage pipes.

Kyrie Irving is primarily to blame for the Celtics' disappointing season

Kyrie, one. Far and away. He's supposed to be the leader. He's the guy. He kind of fucked himself here because the whole way he left Cleveland, he's like, I want to be the guy. You're going to get judged as the guy.

The Bucks are going to walk to the NBA Finals

Like I'm saying, the Bucks are going to just walk to the finals this year. I'm very consistent on that.

Steph Curry gets the least criticism of any superstar in sports for playing poorly

Watching [Steph Curry] play and watching him shoot and get hot is awesome. But there is not one single superstar that I've ever seen in any sport that gets less shit for sucking than Steph Curry.

Kevin Durant is the most unguardable human being ever created

What I'm saying is that when you look at all these guys [MJ, Shaq, Kobe, LeBron]... [Durant] does things at such an efficient level and at such a high rate. He's a seven-foot two-guard. He shoots 90% from the free-throw line. He's shooting 50% from three right now... if you had to create a basketball player, I think the two guys that you would create are probably Bron and KD for very different reasons.

To fix the Lakers, the front office needs to be cleared and someone should be stolen from the Spurs

I would change everyone that's in my front office, and then I would go and steal someone from the Spurs... There needs a lot more checks and balances. I think even Jeanie Buss needs somebody that can tell her no or can go in there and win an argument. And it doesn't have to be someone that she's friends with for 20 years.

Houston will win Game 3 against the Warriors, or they will get swept

I'm going to say Houston is going to win one game. And if Houston wins one game, the only game they will be able to win was game three. If they don't win game three, obviously they're going to get swept, in my opinion.

Scott Foster is the best referee for a road team because he is a 'dickhead' who ignores the home crowd

There are certain referees that you want to see going into an arena... if I was going into Boston on the road, I want to see Scott Foster. Those kind of dickheads, those assholes, those guys that are kind of just like, leave me alone, I have to do my job. Those are the guys that I want. If anything, if the home team or the home crowd starts acting like jerks, they will actually go the other way.

The Trail Blazers have the best home-court advantage in the NBA playoffs

The Trailblazers, I would contend, yeah, I'm going to say it, they probably have the best home court advantage in the playoffs.

I would cut D'Angelo Russell for being a 'bad decision maker' after his weed arrest

The stupidity is, like, way worse than the crime... Bad decision maker. Honestly, just put it in your pocket. I'd cut him.

Kevin Durant vs. Michael Jordan is a legitimate debate

People are saying—I'm not saying. People are saying should the debate be Kevin Durant versus Michael Jordan... I kind of agree.

3-1 in the Finals is a better record than 3-6 when comparing Durant and LeBron

So he's [Durant] got the same amount of rings... It feels like three and one better than three and six. We could go all day, folks. We could cherry pick all day.

LeBron James' best years are behind him

LeBron's best years are behind him.

Draymond Green will eventually earn a one-game suspension during these playoffs

Draymond [Green] got another technical tonight. So he's on his way to earning a one-game suspension at some point during these playoffs.

The Rockets will win at least one game in Houston against the Warriors

Are we thinking sweep? No. No. No chance. They're going to take at least one. I just wanted to throw it out there. At least one in Houston.

Kyrie Irving will not play as poorly for the rest of the Bucks series as he did in Game 2

Kyrie [Irving] will not play that bad for the rest of the series. I'm okay with that because that means, I mean, it's not like you don't have a shitty series. If you have a shitty game, that's almost better because you know for the rest of the series it's going to be on its own.

The Bucks are unbeatable and will dominate the Eastern Conference

But as I've said, these Bucks are unbeatable in this playoff. They are going to dominate the East. Clearly the best team.

Teams should be allowed to draw their own custom three-point lines on their home courts

Imagine if the Heat could draw their own line or the Warriors are playing at home, and they have one line. Then they go to Houston, and there's a different line... it gives a home field advantage. It's fun for the fans. So I think that would be interesting because right now, dudes, the shot is too easy for too many guys.

The NBA should allow defensive goaltending on three-pointers to decrease shooting efficiency

Allowing goaltending on threes is probably the biggest stoner ideas I have. Let's make it fun, dudes. Let's make it a little harder for these guys.

Ben Simmons will eventually become an average three-point shooter

[Ben Simmons] could use his clutch roommate LeBron as a model because LeBron was a terrible jump shooter his rookie year... Simmons could really pattern some of his pathway to efficiency after LeBron pressuring the rim. [On becoming an average 3pt shooter] Oh, for sure.

The Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Finals

But the Warriors are going to win. I hate to say it. I'm rooting against them just for the narrative, as they say. But they are so good, you guys. They have three of the best shooters in a league that is obsessed with shooting.

Zion Williamson is a bust-proof prospect

The best shots in the league are still near the rim, and he's going to be able to get there. He's a big boy, and he's athletic. He's a bust-proof, in my opinion.

The Celtics can beat the Bucks in the playoffs

I was wrong about the Celtics-Bucks series. I said there was no chance in hell that the Celtics make it a series. I'm going to jump off that take now... I'd like to say I think the Celtics can beat the Bucks.

The Warriors' biggest opponent this year is themselves

The Warriors every year, it's been like no one can beat the Warriors. This year, there finally is a team that can beat the Warriors, and it's the Warriors. So I'm excited to watch the Warriors try to beat the Warriors because this is what happens at the late dynasties... I truly think they all hate each other.

This is the final year of the Golden State Warriors dynasty

This is the end of the Warriors. Like this is their last run. They either win the title this year and go off as three in a row, all that shit, or they lose and everyone goes their other way and hates each other.

The Bucks are a wagon and will roll through the Celtics in the NBA Playoffs

But I think the Bucks, they're a wagon. They're going to roll through the Celtics.

It is a massive mistake for Bucks fans to chant 'We Want Boston' after sweeping the Pistons

It's a mistake. ... Why poke the bear? ... When you're the No. 1 seed, you or your fans can't be doing stuff like this. They're going to get them.

Jared Dudley is a clown

I'm just going to say totally unbiased, even though I'm biased because I don't like Jared Dudley because he denied an interview on Pardon My Take and canceled last second. I think Jared Dudley's a clown.

Ben Simmons will eventually develop a jump shot

So I think [Ben] Simmons will eventually develop a jump shot to complement the rest of his game, but it's going to take him a while, and I think mentally it's tougher when you see an opponent giving you such flagrant disrespect.

Greg Popovich is trying to sabotage NBA stars with wine

I truly think that he uses it as an advantage to be like, I'm going to turn LeBron James into an alcoholic so my San Antonio Spurs can still look like we're still in dynasty mode.

The NBA should have a 'kill switch' rule for playoff games decided by 35+ points

In a playoff series, if a team wins by a certain amount... in basketball if they beat them by 35-plus, the series is automatically over right there. We just fast forward and we save everybody the time. If you get beat by 35 points, it's just the kill switch. And it would make blowouts exciting because teams would be having to try really hard in game one.

Kevin Durant is leaving the Warriors the second the season is over

I'm of the mindset that Kevin Durant's gone the second the season's over.

The Raptors should trade Drake to break the Drake Curse

The Raptors should trade Drake. He's a big mad. I think he's upset.

Jimmy Butler screwed up the 76ers' chemistry

I think Jimmy Butler came in and screwed up the whole chemistry. That's what I think. Simmons can't shoot. It's so much easier to defend in the playoffs.

The Celtics won't make it past the second round of the NBA playoffs

The panic button is pressed. If they make it past, like, the second round, I'll be surprised. I mean, it's like you would say [Marcus Smart] is the heart and soul of the team. They are already kind on a rocky road going into it.

The Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Championship

Out West, I think the Warriors are going to win the NBA title. Okay, that is a fucking take. Watch out, guys. Take warning. I fucking... Oh, man. I wish someone would beat them because that's what really kind of dampens the... well, you think someone... I mean, Houston could.

The Clippers will not win a single game against the Warriors

The Clippers are going to annoy them in the first round. They're not going to win. They might not even win a game, but the Clippers are like the all-hustle team.

The Bulls should send Bill Murray or Jim Belushi to represent them at the draft lottery

Zion. Maybe Zion... That's going to be the biggest night of the Bulls probably since Derrick Rose left. You need to figure out who the ultimate good luck charm is. Jim Belushi. Final answer. [PFT]: Or Bill Murray. [Big Cat]: Get Bill Murray to do it. Yes.

Magic Johnson resigned because he wants to spend more time tampering

Magic Johnson... announces that he is stepping down as president of basketball operations from the Lakers... We all thought when he did it, we're like, oh, he is upset because he can't tamper as president. And so he wants to retire to spend more time with his tampering.

LeBron James will eventually fire everyone in the Lakers organization, including Jeannie Buss

I think LeBron is going to fire everyone if they don't get another star. He'll go all the way up the ladder. He'll probably tell Jeannie Buss she's fired.

Paul Pierce is making himself look overrated by actively claiming he's better than Dwyane Wade

Paul Pierce made the ultimate error where Paul Pierce is the perfect guy that if he just kind of stays under the radar, everyone will say, hey, you know who's better than people give him credit for? Paul Pierce. But when he says he's like actively says he's better than someone, people will roast him... now you've done the reverse. And everyone's like, Paul Pierce was overrated.

Paul Pierce's career ceiling was Dwyane Wade with arthritis

I think at the height of Paul Pierce's career, he was still like Dwyane Wade with arthritis. That was his ceiling.

The '7 seconds or less' Suns actually played good defense, but it was overshadowed by their scoring

We did play defense. That's the sad [part]. It got overshadowed because we were scoring so much... I think especially some guys play horrible individual defenders but great team defenders... Steve [Nash] was a great—he wasn't the best on-ball defender, but he's a great team defender.

The 2006 Suns were better than the 2007 team that everyone thinks should have won the title

Everybody speculates thinking [2007] was the year we should have won the championship... I don't. [The year before that] was better... I was physically, mentally drained because I was going from Sam Cassell to Elden Brand and Chris Kaman. From Kobe to Lamar to Ron Artest... Then I had to go against Dirk. My body was shut. I was tired. I was dead tired.