Takes

Liberty University is the best Cinderella story because of their midnight curfew

I would say Liberty is a better Cinderella story because they have to be home by midnight. That's actually a rule on campus. True, true. That is. Some steep curfew for them. Yeah, Liberty, they're my team this year.

The 2019 NCAA champion will come from a group of seven teams: Virginia, Duke, Michigan State, UNC, Gonzaga, Michigan, or Kentucky

There has been no team that has ever won the tournament that hasn't finished in the top 20 in adjusted offense and adjusted defense. I'm going to give you the teams right now. So if you're waiting to fill out your bracket, here are the teams that you should pick from. Virginia, Duke, Michigan State, North Carolina, Gonzaga, Michigan, Kentucky.

Duke will not reach the championship game because their three-point percentage is too low

Duke's three-point percentage is 30.2. It is the lowest in Division I men's basketball... no team, I repeat, no team has ever gotten to the championship game with a three-point percentage that low.

My 2019 Final Four: Virginia, Duke, Kentucky, and Michigan

So my Final Four is Virginia, Duke, Kentucky... and Michigan.

My 2019 Final Four: Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC

I have Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC in my final four.

UC Irvine will upset Kansas State and reach the Sweet 16

I'll tell a big upset I like. I like UC Irvine to the Sweet 16. They play Kansas State. Dean Wade's not going to play. I don't like Kansas State at all... And UC Irvine's the only team in the tournament with 30 wins.

John Beilein is the best pure X and O coach in college basketball

I actually think the best pure X and O coach in the tournament is John Beilein. Because even though everywhere he goes, they do better than they should, he never has guys that are super talented... as a pure coach, he's the best in the country.

Duke is guaranteed to win the 2019 National Championship

No chance Duke doesn't win the title. Put it on a shirt.

Bracket regions should be named Top Left, Bottom Left, Top Right, and Bottom Right to be standard across all websites

I don't like [the pod system]. Let's make it standard because my biggest problem with March Madness and the whole bracket system in general is it's usually not standard across all the different sports websites out there. It should be called top left, bottom left, top right, bottom right. Make it easy for me.

Oregon will beat Wisconsin in a massive 12-over-5 upset

Check out that Oregon-Wisconsin game, which is a one-and-a-half-point underdog for Oregon. Huge upset coming.

Conference championship games on Selection Sunday do not matter for NCAA tournament seeding

Everyone thinks that the conference championship games matter a ton, but if you think the committee... The committee's just like us. They're fucking lazy. They're not going to sit there and watch the Big Ten championship and be like, well, now we've got to change everything we've done all weekend. They filled it out. They're ready to go.

Yale will upset LSU in the first round of the 2019 NCAA Tournament

LSU doesn't have its coach. Yale has an NBA prospect in Miye Oni... I'm going to take Yale to beat LSU.

Florida State will beat Gonzaga for the second straight year in the Sweet 16

I've got Gonzaga against Florida State in the Sweet 16... I got Florida State for the second straight year beating Gonzaga.

Michigan will advance to the Final Four out of the West region

Out of the region of Sizzle, I've got Michigan advancing to the Final Four... Michigan's lost to Michigan State three times, but Beilein we know, great in the tournament.

North Carolina will beat Duke in the National Championship game

Duke Carolina in Phase 4... I know that Duke has Zion Williamson, and I know he's more machine than man... I think North Carolina beats Duke in the national title.

Michigan's student section is the toughest and most ruthless in the Big Ten

Probably Michigan State. They're kind on top of you at the court. Or Michigan. Michigan, the fans are – I don't know what it is about their student section, but they're, like, ruthless. Like, they'll talk about my mom. They'll talk about acne. They'll talk about whatever it is, just to try and get into my skin.

Ethan Happ will never miss another free throw if he thinks the word 'wet' before shooting

I need you to when you get to the free throw line just say in your head wet right before you shoot just go wet and it just like it will change everything... You actually will not miss another free throw for the rest of the season. Isn't that wild?

Zion Williamson is the closest thing to LSU-era Shaquille O'Neal in terms of physical dominance

I've never seen anything like him. The closest thing I can remember to Zion is when Shaq played at LSU. And not in terms of how good a player he is, but just the cartoon character nature of this kid's physical dominance.

Duke will not advance past the Elite Eight if Zion Williamson doesn't play

No. No, I don't. I think this kid is so dominant, guys, that if the world was fair, and it may still happen, but I would vote for him... National Player of the Year.

Florida State is a March Madness dark horse because of their incredible length

One, they've been good all year, but no one ever talks about them... that's Florida State because they got like 15 guys. I mean, and they got like seven guys over seven feet. It's amazing... All they did this year in a great league is go... 25-6.

It would be more shocking if an LSU basketball coach was not cheating

Again, I would be more shocked if the LSU basketball coach wasn't cheating. I saw blue chips.

If I were Zion Williamson, I would play again for Duke this season

Yeah, I would play. At the end of the day, you've got to play basketball. I totally get it. If he wanted to sit out, I wouldn't be like, 'oh, that's BS.' If he wants to sit out, cool, but I personally would play.

College coaches should only be punished for cheating if they win the national championship

I think you should only get punished for cheating if you win the national championship.

I guarantee the Virginia Cavaliers will make the Elite Eight

I have decided that I'm going to take the Virginia Cavaliers for real. I'm guaranteeing an Elite Eight appearance. Because they'll get a one seed... they'll get a one seed, and I think Duke will get a one seed, and the only team that can beat him is Duke.

The Virginia Cavaliers will lose to a 16-seed again

The Harvard of the South is not in a position to win anything this postseason... They'll lose to a 16. I'm a big trends guy, and right now in their last one, the Cavaliers are 0 for 1 against 16th seeds.

Roy Williams has been a better coach than Coach K since 2003

Three NCAA titles as opposed to Dukes' two since Roy Williams went to UNC. ... UNC has five Final Fours as opposed to Dukes' three since Roy Williams got there. And UNC has eight regular season titles to Dukes' three since Roy Williams got there.

Zion Williamson should not play another second of college basketball this year

I think that Zion, especially for a young man, an outstanding young man who has so much to gain, there's really no point in him playing another second of basketball this year.

Duke should fold their basketball program and let everyone go to the NBA

If Zion's going to sit out... what's the point right you're probably not going to win the title now so maybe have cam reddish sit out maybe have rj barrett sit out... and maybe just fold the whole duke program and let everyone else just go to the nba

Alex O'Connell is a top five player in the nation

[Coach K] is going to now have two months to get this team with the number two and number three recruit in the nation, Alex O'Connell, top five player in the nation, in my opinion.

Roy Williams is a better coach than Coach K because of his jackets

Roy Williams, I would say, is a better coach than Coach K, by the way... I'm saying his jackets. That's the only reason that I'm giving you right now, Hank... I'm Roy Williams. I'm going to be a dadgum good dresser. Dadgummit.

Zion Williamson will return for the NCAA Tournament

I think Zion should sit and then come back for the tournament and, in the words of Billy McFarland, just fuck it, let's be legends.

College players should keep eligibility if they aren't drafted in the NBA lottery

Why can't they just figure out a way that you can go to the NBA straight out of high school, but if you're not a lottery pick, you keep all your eligibility. And the team that drafts you keeps your rights. And then doesn't that fix a lot of the stuff?

Dick Vitale is losing his edge as a college basketball commentator

I'm a big Dickie V fan. I'm okay that they took him off the [Duke vs. UNC] game. I think they did it a little early, but I will give a little bit of a hat tip to whoever decided it... I listened to Dickie V on Saturday and it's fading on us, boys. I don't want to say it, but he's kind of losing it.

If Duke doesn't reach the Sweet 16, I will buy and keep a cat

Sweet 16, you got a deal... So if Trey Jones is injured, they'll still get to the Sweet 16... No, you guys definitely fucking planned this before the show... I'm so confident in Duke that it doesn't matter.

Zion Williamson should sit out the rest of the college season

I think Zion Williamson should sit out the rest of the year and save himself for the NBA. Honestly, though, seriously, all jokes aside, if he blows out a knee or something like that, he probably won't be a top five pick anymore... Your job is not to make Coach K another $10 million. Your job is to look after your own future.

Papa John is the new face of Kentucky basketball

I think we should just go with a take that Papa John is now the new face of Kentucky basketball. When I think UK Wildcats, I think shitty pizza.

No one is beating Duke in the 2019 NCAA Tournament

I mean, it's Duke's year. No one is beating Duke. No one. This is not happening. They are a special team with a special coach.

Duke is definitely going to win the national championship

Duke's definitely the best team... which is terrible because that means Duke is definitely going to win the national championship.

This is finally Virginia's year to win it all

I actually believe in Virginia this time. Honest to God, hand to God... This is their year. No, I don't know if they're going to win. Their offense is better this year than it has been every year.

No Big Ten team is good enough to win the national championship this year

I don't think the Big Ten has a team good enough to win the national championship if they're here. I really don't.

Ethan Happ is the best player in history from 8 feet in and clueless from further out

Eight feet in, he's maybe the best basketball player to ever play the game. And then from eight feet out, he looks like he's never actually touched a basketball.

Rick Pitino will get another job but not at a power conference

I think he is going to get a job eventually though... he'll pop up somewhere he's gonna he's gonna go to some tiny ass school and someone's going to write the article, like probably Dickie V, about how Rick Pitino is, you know, he's changing his image.

The Pac-12 is just soft because the weather is too perfect

The Pac-12 is just soft. Their only hope is to like import kids from the East coast... who wants to go to UCLA and like be in a gym all day, every day and work on your game? No, that's not why you go to UCLA.

UCLA should hire a young coach who cares about the school rather than Rick Pitino

I think for UCLA it's actually a golden opportunity for them to be smart like the Rams, right? Go get a young dude who cares... who wants to be there for a long time... [Big Cat]: Rick Pitino? [Baron Davis]: No... If you want hookers in the locker room, this is L.A. Imagine what he was doing in Louisville... We don't need Rick Pitino, man.

Zion Williamson should drop out of Duke and secure his shoe deal to avoid injury

Zion. Zion can't shoot free throws. ... He will be the number one pick no matter what, probably. So why not just go do it? And he'll make more money on his shoe deal than he will playing basketball. So don't risk that whatsoever. Just leave and get your shoe deal.

Duke is 'finished' because the blueprint to beat them is out.

Duke... finished. I'll tell you why. The blueprint is out on how to beat Duke, and it's twofold. One, make a 55-foot three-pointer at the end of the half... The other thing is piss your pants. Because the blueprint is to have a coach with a little leaky tinkly going down the front string. Jim Boeheim literally pissed on Coach K's name.

The college basketball arm hook rule will cause an apocalypse in the tournament

This is going to cause absolute hell during the NCAA tournament. You're going to have stars foul out because of this weird flagrant foul thing. It's going to swing games, too. It's going to be awful. Once people realize how bad this rule is, the NCAA is going to be an apocalypse.

No one's going to beat Duke this year

Duke is still undefeated and they win against Texas Tech at Madison Square Garden. No one's going to beat Duke this year.

College basketball's five-foul rule is bullshit

He's saying the five fouls are bullshit. Well, guess what? It is. Fix it. Yeah, it is bullshit. It makes the game way less enjoyable to see a star player get subbed out in the first half after like 10 minutes.

There should be no preseason or first-month polls in college sports

There should be no polls until like two months into the season anyway. There should be no preseason polls. There should be no first-month polls in college basketball or college football. Take the bias out.