Takes

Olive Garden is absolutely disgusting Italian food.

Olive Garden is absolutely fucking disgusting. If it's a true Italian... It's Italian, but it's a grape. But it's a good pick. It's a good for the graphic. It's a great pick. Unlimited bread, but in real life. Unlimited blows. No, that's ly are awesome. The pasta is good. The so is good. The pasta is probably about 20 minutes overcooked.

Nutty Bars are a top-tier snack pick

Gonna go with Nutty Bars. Love them. Love them. Yeah. You know that You'll get my vote on that. It's a solid pick.

Doritos are the best snack

I will go with Doritos. Cool Ranch Doritos are my favorite. Doritos are the best. They really are the best.

You would choose pizza over donuts for the rest of your life because you can't eat donuts every day

If it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza. Like, I'm just being honest, like I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every day. You could eat pizza almost every day.

Pie is vastly superior to cake as a dessert

I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy. I think pie clears cake all day. Birthday cake. Pretty decent pie. Vastly superior.

A bowl is a perfect delivery vessel because you never have a bad meal served in one

There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of. You know what I mean? When you're getting, when you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream. Cereal. A bowl delivers great things.

Waffles are superior to pancakes in every way

I'm going to go waffles. Love waffles. Superior to pancakes in every way. Waffles versatile. You can go sweet... or you can go savory. The nooks and crannies make it.

Breakfast burritos are better than breakfast tacos outside of Austin

In Austin, you are correct [that tacos are better]. But the rest of the country breakfast burrito is always better than a breakfast taco. Where have you had a good breakfast taco outside of Austin? Breakfast tacos are good, but they're like a, they're a treat for like certain parts of the country.

Cold pizza is an elite breakfast food

I think it's an elite breakfast: cold slice of pizza. So good. It's zero calorie. Tastes great. Just put a little hot sauce on it. Yeah, it's great. I love, I love having pizza for breakfast.

Pineapple absolutely belongs on pizza

I fucking love pineapple on pizza. I love pineapple with, with barbecue chicken on a pizza... At what point did it become a thing where people are like, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza?

A Chicken Club sandwich is much better than a Turkey Club

I'm gonna go with chicken club. Much better than a Turkey club. Oh, much better.

Pimento cheese is an overrated sandwich filling

I think pimento cheese is overrated... The problem with pimento cheese is there's absolutely no crunch or hard factor in there. It's just soft. Just soft.

Lobster meat is definitely meat because it is a crustacean

Lobster meat is considered meat because it is a crustacean and a type of seafood. ... [To Max] You grew up in a dumb household [if you think fish isn't meat].

The Grilled Cheese Burrito is the best item currently on the Taco Bell menu

Best menu item going right now. Grilled cheese burrito... That is the best menu item they have right now... I love the grilled cheese burrito. Yes. It's the foundation.

The Breakfast Crunchwrap is the greatest fast food item in America

Breakfast crunchwrap might be the best fast food menu item in America. It's that good. It is perfect.

I've eaten way more chicken wings than anybody else in the PMT room

Chicken wings eaten. I bet you I'd be topping this room. I think I've eaten way more chicken wings than anybody else here.

Chinese food is the unquestioned number one overall pick for leftovers

The first pick is the easiest pick in the entire history of Mount Rushmore, Chinese food. Number one, simple. It's so good. Just eat it cold, like some lo mein... beef and broccoli.

A half-drank blue Gatorade in the fridge is the perfect hangover leftover

Blue Gatorade in the fridge that you didn't finish next. Really good one. You wake up, you're thirsty as hell. You might be hungover and you see that partially [drunk]... sometimes that's the perfect amount of Gatorade to drink.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the best candy overall

One, one, no brainer. Pick hat knows this favorite candy. I literally had it for breakfast this morning. Reese's.

Peanut Butter M&Ms are better than regular M&Ms

Our third pick, we're gonna go with peanut butter M&Ms... Easy money in the bank. I would take that over regular M&M actually all day, all day. If somebody handed you a bag of regular M&Ms, and one peanut butter, you're taking peanut butter every time.

Pink is the greatest Starburst flavor

Pink one. One's... Pink is the, is the goat. Pink's the only one for me.

Pineapple is a tier-one fruit

Next pick, our next pick is pineapple. Great fruit. Tier one. Pineapple makes everything taste good. It's big and strong.

Tiramisu is a bottom-tier dessert

I'm the man who will eat every dessert in the world. Tiramisu is bottom tier dessert. It's all fancy... It's the texture that I don't like. I don't like the texture of tiramisu... Tiramisu is coffee flavor. Just drink the coffee. It's way better.

Light beer is the only thing the United States specializes in making better than other countries

Light beer. America was like, you know what? Beer is good. I wish there was slightly less taste that you could drink 10 times as many them... Light beer is the only, like, I don't know any other country that specializes in making light beer. There's really none. Every, every other is like, we'd like more flavor us. We're like, no, we just want to get drunker.

Calamari is a trash appetizer

Calamari. Everyone always orders it. I'm always at tables where they just like, oh, well, just get calamari, assuming I want calamari. I'm just like no... if you don't have sauce, it's disgusting.

Deviled eggs are gross as a party appetizer

I think deviled eggs are gross to eat like an appetizer form. Like if you're out and you eat a deviled egg, it's like okay have cool egg breath for the rest of the fucking night, dude.

The Bloomin' Onion is a disappointment; just order onion rings

Whenever you order it, it's always disappointment. The Bloomin' Onion. Think about it, like why? Just order onion rings.

Melted cheese is the ultimate cheese hack for any food

Any type of cheese, if you melt it on top of something, makes it instantly better. I will go with melted. Just melted.

Nacho cheese is better the more unrealistic and neon it looks

I'm going to go with nacho cheese... I love it the more unrealistic the cheese is. Like the more yellow, the like neon yellow color you get with stadium nachos. Love that shit... like the radioactive goo.

Goat cheese is 'chick cheese' and not for guys

Goat cheese? Are you kidding me? That's chick cheese, bro. I disagree. That's a big time chick cheese.

Junior Mints are S-tier because of their scarcity

The one thing I like about Junior Mints, I don't think you can get it everywhere... you go into even a liquor store, you can get a Snickers bar... it's just too easy to get. I like the fact you got to work a little for your Junior Mints.

The Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich is the 'Granddaddy of them all' for chicken sandwiches

I'm going to go with a spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy's. I actually had this listed before Chick-fil-A on my big board. So it's a good value pick for me. I think it's kind of the granddaddy of them all as far as chicken sandwiches go.

McDonald's fries are the best fast food item

And then for my last pick, McDonald's fries. Can't believe I got that one in the fourth round. I know. I know.

The Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit is the best breakfast sandwich in America

Big time honorable mention to Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. Yes. Best breakfast sandwich in America. People forget Whataburger, not the best thing on the menu, is not burgers. It's the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. And it is incredible.

Rosé cider is delicious despite being a 'chick drink'

Rosé cider. Kind of a chick drink, but it's just so delicious. I could drink it any day. Sometimes the ones in the can have a lot of sugar, though, so I try and go out of my way to find one with low sugar.

Riptide Rush is the only good Gatorade flavor

I'll go Mint Chocolate Chip and Riptide Rush... [Riptide Rush is] the only good one. No, it's the white one.

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy. They're good for like a handful. Yeah, and nobody really likes it. It's more about the visual of walking around with a thing of Cracker Jacks.

Mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavor

My number one flavor... It's mint chocolate chip. Best ice cream flavor there is. Number one pick.

Phish Food is the best Ben & Jerry's flavor

I would die on this hill: Fish Food. It's got the marshmallow. And you know what I like? The crunch element is the chocolate-covered caramel fish.

The Pringles and Italian sandwich munchies are elite-tier

My number one would probably be steak and cheese... I'm going to go Pringles... I'm going to go with... frozen yogurt. That whole like when you go to the frozen yogurt bar and you get everything. It's actually not so much. It's just candy.

Stuffing is the greatest thing in the world

I'm going stuffing. I fucking love stuffing. Stuffing is the greatest thing in the world. Why don't we eat stuffing every day? Make the turkey out of the stuffing. It's so good.

A solo hungover Chinese food order must be at least $75

If you order Chinese food by yourself, by the way, when you're hungover and you are under $75, you're doing it wrong. Because what you need to do when you're hungover and you're ordering Chinese food is you order every single thing that you might just want a little taste of.

Ice cream is the most efficient way to cool your core down during a hangover

I'm going to go with just ice cream because it's so easy. You don't have to worry about chewing it... it cools your core down when you get that hangover where you're dehydrated and you have that lava core. You're sitting on your couch sweating, but if you have the ice cream, it cools you down more efficiently than anything else could.

Oatmeal raisin is the number one cookie of all time

Number one of all cookies ever is oatmeal raisin cookies. I love the texture of oatmeal and cookies. I think it adds something to the texture that I like.

Oatmeal raisin is a trash-ass cookie

Because that's a trash-ass cookie. That's a trash ass cookie. Oatmeal raisin is not a Mount Rushmore cookies cookie.

Honey Nut Cheerios are the greatest cereal of all time

I've got a great value pick at number two: Honey Nut Cheerios. I think they're the goat. I'm just gonna say that... you forget the bee puts his honey in there for you.

Apple Jacks milk is the best leftover cereal milk on the list

Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Apple Jacks are both not only good cereals, but the milk in the cereal bowl after the cereal's gone is better than any other cereal on the list.

Zing Zang is the only acceptable Bloody Mary mix

The things I hate the most about bars, number one, when they make their own Bloody Mary mix instead of using Zing Zang. Because Zing Zang... It's the perfected Bloody Mary mix. There's no topping it. It's perfect all around.

Pigs in a blanket are the best finger food and appetizer available

I also think that pigs in a blanket get a bad rap. I think people try to be really classy at their weddings these days and they don't do pigs in a blanket. We need to like rebrand pigs in a blanket to bring them back because they're the best finger food and appetizer out there.

Crab cakes are better with 75% filler rather than lump meat

I like the filler. ... Exactly. I want 75% filler in my crab cakes. ... Have you ever tried to eat like a 95% crab meat crab cake? Oh, it's disgusting. It's like eating a can of tuna fish.