Takes

I'm only joining an XFL team if I have a real chance to make the roster

The practice squad offer is apparently legit. Like I'm going to get a contract if I want to go down that road... in which case I'm only going down that road if they give me an opportunity to work my way onto a team. I'm not just going to be on practice squad a year.

I throw up before every single football game

As soon as we come back in from warm-ups. I go puke... hundred percent for every game... I always think I'm like, I'm a step faster now. That's my positive mindset.

I actually prefer blocking to catching the ball

I like blocking a lot like my favorite thing... when it's play call is like, all right, you're just going to go just throw some people out of the club. You're like fuck. Yes. Let's go.

Jimmy Garoppolo's chin line will lead the 49ers to a Super Bowl win

Jimmy [Garoppolo] I think is one of the strongest chin lines in the NFL and with that, you know that chin line it's going to, you know, definitely let us know Super Bowl this year.

Aaron Rodgers is not a great quarterback

Eli, Romo, Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler. These are all people that are not great quarterbacks, but were very good for a long time.

Eli Manning's Hall of Fame case relies entirely on beating the Patriots

Does Eli have a— is his legacy seen differently, and is he a surefire Hall of Famer if he beats teams not named the Patriots in the Super Bowl? No. Because that is really when you boil down what Eli is... he had two moments where he beat the best coach and the best quarterback in the NFL history.

Andy Reid is a better coach than Bill Cowher

If Bill Cowher's in the fucking Hall of Fame, Andy Reid should be in the Hall of Fame. Andy Reid's way better of a coach than Bill Cowher. I'm sorry, but that's a fact.

George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL

Best current tight end in the league. Travis Kelce or George Kittle. It's Kittle. Greg [George] Kittle. It's definitely Greg [George] Kittle.

The Bears ruined Mitch Trubisky

Actually, Will Brinson had a hot take... that if Mitch Trubisky got drafted by the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes got drafted by the Bears, Mitch Trubisky would be better than Patrick Mahomes. So it's an institutional failure, which I actually agree with that kind of. Bears make every quarterback shit.

The 2020 NFL Draft stage in Las Vegas will lead to players falling in the water

The NFL Draft is going to have a stage in the Bellagio pool, and players are going to be transported in a boat... Well, there should definitely be props on which player is going in the water.

Tom Brady going to the Raiders would make them the most liked team in the NFL

Brady, I wouldn't even be mad if he went to the Raiders. And if he went to the Raiders, everyone would be rooting for the Vegas Raiders. If he decides to go to the Raiders, which would be shocking, that team would be electric.

Mitch Trubisky is going to be a great quarterback

Mitch Trubisky is going to be great. I mean, he had good spurts, right? I mean, I don't even think he would tell you that he's a finished product yet, but he has a lot of potential... Mitch is definitely not bad.

Drew Lock is a rock star leader for the Broncos

We got a rock star. Rock star. We got a rock star, like owning out the football field. I saw his demeanor with the other rookies... he was like the leader of the rookies off top from day one. And everybody just kind of gravitated towards him.

I would be a successful goal-line running back or tight end

I feel like I would be the Von Miller of running backs if I was a running back... I've had this pitch for about since we won the Super Bowl. I should be playing offense in the goal line package. I practice with Todd Davis and I just don't feel like they can cover me like they can cover other tight ends.

The NFL's new roughing the passer rules make it harder for defensive players to tackle running quarterbacks like Patrick Mahomes

I actually think that a little hot take, but the new rules with hitting quarterbacks makes it harder for defensive players to fully go at a quarterback. It felt like guys wanted to tackle him, but it also felt like if they went too hard they would get a penalty. You very rarely get a clean shot on a quarterback in the open field and they missed it.

Winning Super Bowl 54 will completely change Andy Reid's coaching legacy

Andy Reid is in that classic situation where his legacy, if he wins a Super Bowl, will change so dramatically. He's been such a good coach for so long... but that one Super Bowl win will take him from a great coach to one of the best. This is a legacy game for Andy Reid.

Sports teams that wear the color red are statistically more dominant across all professional leagues

I read a study 15 years ago... that teams that wear the color red are dominant if you look across all sports professionally. There's like a small bit of darwinian or evolutionary trait being bright red gives you as a show of dominance.

I am officially worried about Aaron Rodgers' mental health and engagement after the NFC Championship loss

I'm officially worried about [Aaron Rodgers'] mental health. He looked disinterested, disengaged... he just looked like somebody that has been fucking Brett Favre for a while, just like a completely blank look on his face. He was just not impressed, not happy to even be there.

The Packers roster is just an average quarterback away from being a Super Bowl contender

The Packers roster, here's a nice Spin Zone for Packer fans: the Packers roster is an average quarterback away from being a Super Bowl contender. I think if they had benched Aaron Rodgers at halftime... that was the way to go, get a spark in there.

In the NFL postseason, running the ball doesn't matter in the AFC, but it is essential in the NFC

What we've truly learned from this sample size, I think it's big enough: in the AFC, running football doesn't work. In the NFC, you need to be able to run the football and it doesn't matter if you're able to pass. Running backs that run for over 200 yards with four touchdowns, their team wins 100% of the time.

The Chiefs and the Titans game will hit the over on 53 points

I'm taking the over and I don't care because I actually, when you're looking at this game, I feel like both offenses match up perfectly with both defenses... Give me the over. 53. I don't care.

The Packers have no chance to beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship

The Packers' defense cannot stop the 49ers' offense, and the Packers' offense cannot stop the 49ers' defense. I don't see a way that the Pack win this game. I really don't.

I could still run for 500 to 600 yards in a season if I played in the NFL today

Maybe I can put up, I don't know, 500, 600 yards, something like that for the season... at 50, I feel like I could run maybe a 4.5, 4.6 [40-yard dash], right?

Ezekiel Elliott is the hardest running back in the NFL to tackle

For the running back position, I'd say Zeke. He runs behind his pads well, so I give it to Zeke.

I can outkick Jay Feeley

Could PFT outkick Jay Feeley now if they were both wearing suits and reporting on the sideline and immediately got called in to start kicking field goals? Definitely. Jay Feeley's a fucking loser. He needs his two little weird gloves to be able to kick. I don't need that shit... I kicked Raw Dog. No glove, no love. I absolutely would [fuck him up]. And consider that a challenge.

There is a 50% chance I get signed to an XFL contract

Let me say, I think that there is actually like a 50% chance that I do get an XFL contract, that I am signed to the XFL. I'm going to find out on Wednesday night and be able to report on Thursday morning what happened.

I am a better and more accurate kicker than Chad Ochocinco

I'm not scared of you Chad. I'm coming for you Chad. I'm a better Kicker than you. I'm more accurate. They call me mr. 35 yards. Hmm. That's what they call me because I go I go 99 percent from 35 yards so I don't care if I can't kick a 60-yarder but I can hit a 35-yarder twice.

Kirk Cousins was not the main reason the Vikings lost to the 49ers

I'm not going to sit here and do the lazy Kirk Cousins stinks, he can never win a big game. He wasn't good, but his offensive line was worse, and I'm not going to put all the blame on Kirk Cousins. To me, this game was way more about the Niners' defense than Kirk Cousins screwing up royally.

The divisional round exit is the ceiling for the current Minnesota Vikings

This is their ceiling. And it's a pretty good ceiling. I mean, you made the divisional round of the playoffs. You won a road playoff game in New Orleans... You should be happy with this, kind of. Eventually they're going to get exactly where they are every single time with Kirk Cousins.

The Ravens panicked against the Titans and abandoned their identity

Holy shit, was that a fucking inexcusable loss at home where they just looked terrible. And I know Lamar Jackson had a million yards. But I actually don't blame it all on him because it felt like the Ravens... they panicked when they went down, and how many times are they going to run empty backfield when all season long they were fucking everyone up? That's the stupidest thing you could ever do.

Scoring a high amount of points is a curse that prevents winning championships

Scoring points is bad, and you should actually be bad on offense... The 12 highest scoring teams in NFL history have zero championships. Zero. That's good enough for me. Zero championships. Scoring points is bad. You do not want to score points.

Lamar Jackson might simply not be able to get it done in the playoffs

He just might not be able to get it done in the playoffs. Peyton Manning, another MVP caliber quarterback, couldn't get it done in the playoffs [early on]. It might not just be like that he has weaknesses in his game. He's clearly the MVP. He just might not be able to get it done in the playoffs.

Roger Goodell will try to engineer a Chiefs vs. Packers Super Bowl for the 100th anniversary

Roger Goodell is absolutely smashing the nut button on the prospect of a Kansas City Chiefs-Packers Super Bowl rematch of Super Bowl I in the 100th year of the NFL. Doing a major stay woke on that one. If Roger Goodell would be the kind of guy to pull any strings behind the scenes... [he] is absolutely going to try to engineer that.

Josh McDaniels staying in New England is a beta move

Josh McDaniels is back in New England... He brought his wife with him to his interview. Kind of a beta move... Apparently, they went out for lunch at some country club with Haslam... and it was a guys-only place. So his wife had to go out to lunch [elsewhere].

The 49ers, Ravens, and Chiefs money line parlay is a can't-lose bet

The 49ers, the Ravens, the Chiefs. Parlay them all, plus 105 on BetMGM, even money everywhere else... How does that lose? I don't see a way that it does.

The Titans will win if they have a single drive over 11 minutes long against the Ravens

If the Titans have a single drive that's over 11 minutes long, then they will win this game.

The Chiefs will blow out the Texans because Houston are frauds

I got Kansas City. I think they're going to blow them out. I think Houston, they reveal themselves to be frauds. That game against Buffalo... Buffalo lost that game more than the other way around.

Russell Wilson is not good in cold weather

The only thing I'm worried about is I don't think Russell Wilson can play in the cold. I don't think he's a cold guy... his record and his stats in the cold, he's not good. He gets spooked.

The Minnesota Vikings defense is the worst in the NFL against 21 personnel runs

Minnesota is actually the worst defense in the NFL against 21 personnel runs. They allow 6.7 yards per carry and a 74% success rate... And guess who runs the most in the entire NFL? Kyle Shanahan in the 49ers.

I actually think I am going to make the DC Defenders XFL team as a kicker

They suggested, as a joke, that the DC team they don't have a kicker right now... I started practicing, and now I actually think that I'm going to make the team... I want to be a professional football player. I want to make this team. And I believe that.

Bill Belichick definitely uses analytics despite his public denials

He's going to deny most everything possible unless there is an advantage to him. And he could easily say, I don't look at analytics... but somebody else there is giving him the research. He's got a team of guys that are using things, including computer vision... and that's all, in a nutshell, analytics is.

You have to compare Joe Judge immediately to John Harbaugh

You have to compare [Joe Judge] immediately to John Harbaugh. Of course. And say, okay, this guy could work. Because not enough special team guys get opportunities.

I would rather hire Matt Rhule than Nick Saban or Urban Meyer

I actually would feel more comfortable getting a Matt Rhule type than like an Urban Meyer or even a Nick Saban... Matt Rule did more with less. Temple is not really a football powerhouse. Baylor was obviously in kind of a disaster zone. So he wasn't beating guys with just going out and getting all the recruits... He was beating them, I would assume, with at least some X's and O's.

Mike McCarthy is just a fatter version of Jason Garrett

It's a great hire for Jerry Jones because he basically just hired a fatter Jason Garrett. Do you think Mike McCarthy's going to steal the show in Dallas? Do you think he's going to make the headlines?

Mike McCarthy only winning one Super Bowl with Aaron Rodgers makes him just an okay coach

If you asked any Packer fan, though, and let's just say that Aaron Rodgers is not going to win another Super Bowl, the fact that Mike McCarthy had Aaron Rodgers that type of talent and they only won one is an okay coach.

I think Tom Brady is going to sign with the Tennessee Titans

I think he's going to the Titans. Because of Vrabel. They've got a running back. They've got a good team. They've got salary cap.

The 2020 Wild Card weekend was the most thrilling one in history

That was an insane, insane wild card weekend. Probably, I wouldn't say the best wild card weekend because I honestly just can't remember all the wild card weekends off the top of my head. But it was probably the most thrilling.

Josh Allen is like Brett Favre with ADD

He was playing like a little kid just hopped up on sugar, just running around, making plays. He was like Brett Favre if Brett Favre had ADD.

The Patriots dynasty is not over despite losing to the Titans

The season is finished. The dynasty is not done. ... I don't see Brady going anywhere else. I understand that it's the first time in his career he can do whatever he wants, but realistically, it's one of those things where you can do whatever you want, but you don't want to leave your job.

Jameis Winston is worth more money than Tom Brady right now

Who's worth more money, Jameis Winston or Tom Brady? Jameis. ... He's just got more years. Yeah, he's 26. And he's a future Hall of Famer.