Takes

Ski Mountaineering should be a 'death sport' where the last person moving wins

My idea to actually make this a better sport, just like last person going... there's no finish line, there's no time. It's just the last person who's still moving. It's like a death sport. ... It's just like the epitome of endurance. Just have the last person moving wins the gold medal.

Race walking is the most metal sport in the Olympics

I think I've actually changed my tune on race walking... because it is the funniest looking sport by far, but it's insane. The dude that is the best in the world at it... he was just shitting himself during the race... his body just gave up. It's actually the most metal sport.

The mile world record set in the 1990s was likely fueled by heavy steroid use

The mile world record is three minutes and 44 seconds. The dude with the mile world record right now is so juiced up and liked the 1990s that drug testing—I mean, no one dopes anymore, but this dude was just literally coursing with steroids.

The Olympics should have a separate division for athletes who are permitted to use performance-enhancing drugs

I think we should have world records for steroid users. Like we really should see how far—we should have regular world records, and then world records of how far can the human body be pushed with help of steroids, right? Humans would just become like a horse.

The Olympic shooting competition should ban specialized gear and mirrors

When you shoot in the rifle competition, you have like, you look like a cyborg. It looks like you're wearing Google glass and like a mirror over your eye and all the shit. And that to me should go. Also, if you're shooting a rifle, there's no need to bring a mirror into the situation. You have a gun, and then you have a target and that's it.

A US handball team with me, LeBron, and Patrick Mahomes would win Olympic gold

I guarantee we can put a team together. We can win gold. Just, just from pure like arm speed. I don't think guys in other countries and just a really big guy as the goalie back. Right. If you watch it, I mean, I've studied this from time to time... I think if it was you, Patrick Mahomes, and LeBron just how many players play and handle like eight on a shirt all the time. So it was you three against eight players from any other country. I think we went, I think we, I guarantee we can put a team together. We can win gold.

Tim Howard could become a world-class handball goalkeeper within one year

If we had Tim Howard playing goalkeeper on our team, I feel like he could become a world-class handball goalkeeper within a year because he's got all the technique right there.

American athletes are superior to Europeans in every sport

I think just for the record, if Europe's listening to me, America has superior athletes to Europeans. That's just a fact. We just do. Every single one of them is better than every European in every sport that any European has tried to play.

The Ryan Lochte robbery incident in Rio is like the worst Jason Bourne movie of all time

Since it's swimming, we get to watch this play out like the worst Jason Bourne movie of all time.

Swimming is not a sport; it is just a struggle to keep breathing

How soft does [Danny Kanell] think that you are because you're a swimmer and basically you just – you don't drown, like I say – Swimming is not a sport. It's just trying to keep breathing.

Olympic swimming is a fringe sport that doesn't deserve the level of excitement it receives from announcers

Anyone who gets that excited for a fringe sport like swimming – You're okay in my book. Like, you either have to go all in and just crazy, crazy, crazy, like Rowdy Gaines, or... [announcers] Basically orgasming for an entire night while he watches the same exact swimming races with just varying distances.

Water polo and men's field hockey are the two worst sports in the world

little bone to pick water polo and field hockey men's field hockey those are the two worst sports in the world um why well water polo you talk about drowning they literally just i mean they're treading water and they're trying not to drown the entire time

LeBron James would be the best of all time in any Olympic sport he chose

Could LeBron James dominate this sport? And the answer is always yes. If LeBron decided not to play basketball and instead was a swimmer or a high diver or a handball player or a soccer player, he'd probably be the best of all time.