Takes

The Raiders' short statement indicates Mark Davis is furious about the rescinded trade

The statement that the Raiders put out said a lot, which is just like 'they backed out of the trade. We have no further comment.' That to me sounds like a pissed off Mark Davis.

The NFL needs a 'no-backsies' rule for players who post elaborate social media goodbye videos

If you post a 13 minute goodbye video on social media like Maxx Crosby did, that should just be trade final. You can't come back on that... I actually am rooting for Maxx Crosby to be on the Raiders now because that will be so awkward and funny.

Tua Tagovailoa will never be more than a check-down quarterback with no deep ball

I don't think that Tua can throw the ball downfield at all. But he can do swing passes to Bijan [Robinson] and that's pretty much what they're gonna ask him to do there. I think what we saw from Tua is what we're gonna get.

I am against prenups because marriage should be forever

I'm against prenups. Because if you're getting married, you're never—you're getting married to be together forever. If you really love someone, the money shouldn't matter.

If your relationship is built on the Chili's Triple Dipper, you will make it

If the foundation of your relationship is the Chili's Triple Dipper or bottomless chips and salsa, you're gonna make it. They're not thinking prenups or joint bachelorette parties.

Laser tag is a children's game and it's terrible for adults

Why were you playing laser tag as an adult? Laser tag sucks. It's a children's game. I guarantee you I've played more laser tag in the last five years than any of you guys... every laser tag, the guns don't work. You hit someone and it doesn't register.

Good laser tag exists and it kicks ass

Laser tag kicks ass. There's good laser tag places, there's bad laser tag places. If we set it up right, it would be good. Laser tag done properly kicks ass.

The Ravens are abandoning their draft-and-develop philosophy because they've drafted poorly lately

The Ravens feel like the team for however long, I mean, pretty much their entire history, it's like what they do is they draft really well. They don't have to do these type of moves. And then they do this move... maybe the Ravens haven't drafted as well recently. So now they do have to join everyone else and be these guys.

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

The Bears' stadium threats are just an anchoring tactic for negotiations

It's kinda like the Bears Stadium situation, which I've been saying all along. Like when they first said Arlington Heights, everyone's like, you can't move the Bears outta Chicago. Then they're like, what about Indiana? No, you can't move 'em outta state. Okay, what about Arlington Heights? Oh, that's sick. They're basically saying, Hey Carson Wentz. No, we can't have Carson Wentz. Okay, what about Gino Smith? Oh, actually that's pretty good compared to Carson Wentz. Smart.

Kyler Murray's next team will reveal whether he actually cares about football

I think where Kyler decides to go is going to be very interesting. Yeah. Because no, no matter where he goes, I think we'll be able to say some very definitive statements about Kyler that might, might be wrong, but we'll definitely say them. If he goes to the Jets, it's like, oh, Kyler wanted to take a paycheck. Right. And he still doesn't care about football. Right.

A joint bachelor/bachelorette party is a 'pre-crime' indicating a lack of trust

If you do a joint bachelor bachelorette party, you just, that's pre-crime. That's the most insane thing possible. It's, it's, it's not, it's bad, bad behavior. It's, it's, that means you just don't trust each other.

Miami (Ohio) deserves a tournament bid for finishing 31-0, regardless of schedule

Miami, Ohio is so simple to me in that they should a hundred percent be in now that they've run the table and won. They're 31 and oh and they won every conference game. If you win every game in your conference and your 31 and oh on the last weekend of regular season, you should be in, no matter what happens in the conference tournament.

John Rahm's win in Hong Kong wasn't a coincidence after rumors he was unhappy

John Rahm won the individual event. First time winning on Liv. It's huge. Huge for him. Definitely not a coincidence. No, he did not say he chose to stay on Liv, but he won. It sounds like they're keeping him happy.

Dennis Rodman is a role player because anyone who isn't a 30-point-per-game scorer is a role player

I would say [Dennis Rodman] is. But like, it's like, I think anybody who's not a 30 point a game scorer, you know, like the 20 to 30 like takes most of the shots is pretty much a role player.

The NBA Cup would be better if the higher-seeded teams hosted home games throughout the bracket instead of playing at a neutral site in Vegas

I think it would be much better if they just did it like playoff series where they just had whatever the tiebreakers are and just have the better team, whatever team is ranked higher, host the game all the way. Maybe the championship you do neutral site... but like leading up to it, the best games in the cup are the games that lead up to Vegas.

If an NBA player knows they are getting ejected, they should go all in and get their money's worth of shouting at the ref

Lou [Dort] would've, but he thought he wasn't gonna get ejected and then he got ejected so he didn't get his money's worth. That's like, that's like NBA rule number one. Like if you know you're gonna get ejected or you know you're gonna get like a second tech, you just, yeah, you go all in. You make it worth it.

Winning a Thunder NBA championship and appearing on the Pardon My Take book cover are more significant than winning the NBA Cup or the 2020 Bubble title

I think it goes: Thunder championship, book cover, NBA Cup second place, NBA Cup third place, and then the bubble championship. [74 in Tahoe] is up above the cup games. People gotta talk about it more.

The half marathon is a joke of a race that isn't a 'real' accomplishment

Half marathon's gotta be the lamest thing to break. Call it a 10,000, what is it? 10,000 meters. Half marathon is bullshit. Make it a full marathon or make it a 10K. It's just a joke. It is a joke of a race. In principle it is a joke.

The Chiefs-Rams Trent McDuffy trade is the first true win-win trade in NFL history

I think the only win-win trade in the history of the NFL might be the McDuffy trade. The one that just happened. Where the the Chiefs traded McDuffy to the Rams. The Rams don't give a fuck about first round picks. They got a great player and they still have their better first round pick from the Falcons. That to me is the first win-win trade in the history of the NFL.

The Rams have proven that first-round draft picks outside of the top 10 don't matter

Are the Rams doing it correctly? Not that draft picks don't matter. Draft picks outside of the top 10 don't matter as much... instead of taking risks on a bunch of 21 year olds, let's get the known commodity knowing it's a crapshoot and just keep punting that down the line being like, we don't care.

Malik Willis is the #1 free agent backup quarterback

Top quarterback free agents... Is it also Malik Willis? Malik Willis is, yes. So he's number one. Malik Willis one.

The US Men's National Team is soft and needs to play with more 'grit' to win the World Cup

We need more grit. Like that was the thing when watching the Gold Cup... we were soft. So if we suck at soccer, that's fine. We can't be soft and suck. And that was what I hated... Little grit. Little little push 'em around a little.

Soccer needs a rule change where the clock stops on all dead balls in the last 20 minutes

I think just if you made a rule last 20 minutes of the game, the clock stops when the ball goes out of bounds. Clock stops on every foul, every penalty. What's wrong with that?

Max Crosby would instantly make the Bears a really good defense

I would be pumped if it was [Max Crosby] to the Bears, I'd be very, very pumped. Yeah. He's amazing. Really, really good at football and would be instantly make the Bears a really, really good defense.

Team USA would have lost the gold medal game if they listened to Aaron Judge's speech

That was one of the worst speeches of all time. If they're, why don't put that out. If you're world ba baseball classic, don't put that out. I think they're trying to get a little bit of the buzz from the Olympics team. USA would've lost the gold medal game if, if if someone stood up and gave Aaron Judge's speech.

Drew Dalman's retirement is a massive blow to the Bears' offensive line

The first instant reaction was fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Then you have to be a human about it and realize like, hey, the guy's able to walk away while he still feels healthy. That's awesome for Drew Dalman. And then it's right back to fuck, fuck, fuck. Because... the offensive line was a significant strength... and now they go into the draft and it's like, fuck.

Floyd Mayweather is running out of money

My Hot Seat is Floyd Mayweather. 'cause I'm starting to think Floyd Mayweather might not have a lot of money left. ... It feels like Floyd Mayweather shouldn't be fighting this much at his age.

Jack and Quinn Hughes are the two best three-on-three players in the NHL

I think that Jack and Quinn, honest to God are maybe at their positions the best three on three player. I'll throw Mc David in there too, obviously, but like for a forward and for a defenseman, like they have to be the two best in three on three, like in the NHL.

The 2026 US Olympic Hockey team will be remembered for generations

I'm sure in 40, 50 years they'll, they'll, they'll love for us to, to come talk to that, that group of players. But it, it really was a life-changing tournament. ... they'll be talking about our team for, for generations.

Directing animation is much harder than directing live action

I will tell you, having directed live action and having directed animation... it is a lot harder to do the second one. ... animation itself has not gotten any easier. It's, it, it still requires the human brain to make a judgment call every few frames with regard to what's right for the moment.

Pardon My Take has likely had a negative sociological effect on the intelligence of sports fans over the last 10 years

Our final boss should be some detailed researched article that is like the effective, Pardon My Take on sports fans. Like a negative thing. ... they can trace it back to all these kids that were listening when they were 12 and now they're fucking idiots as grown adults and they're going to games.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

It would be a shock and the biggest disappointment ever if Duke doesn't win the title

If they [Duke] don't win it this year, it would be a shock. I think it'll be the biggest disappointment since last year. Every single year is the biggest disappointment.

The guy in charge of measuring arm lengths at the NFL Combine is bad at his job.

There's a big story that's brewing under wraps at the combine... the guy that measures arm length at the combines is not good at measuring arm length. This is going to be two years in a row where the arm length that's measured at the combine does not add up to what happens at the individual workouts or the guy's pro days. He's got a short measurement.

It is literal torture that the Steelers locker room only has five bathroom stalls for the whole team.

The Steelers locker room only has five bathroom stalls for the entire team. That's egregious. That's insane. Five bathroom stalls for 53 large men that have to take shits all the time. That's actually torture. Your favorite player is oftentimes awkwardly trying to like silence his shit, which no man should have to do. Sucks.

The Sixers are a bad team that loses every game Joel Embiid doesn't play

The Sixers suck. The Sixers are a bad team. Embiid's not playing. They lose—the Sixers are back to losing every game that Embiid doesn't play.

JJ McCarthy should want to play for Kevin O'Connell in Minnesota

JJ McCarthy should want to play for Kevin O'Connell. He should do like the Chet Powers thing and just disguise himself as somebody else and then be like, 'Hey, can you fix me Kevin O'Connell?'

Great defense will usually beat great offense

I feel like all—there's a lot of like Super Bowls and big games in the past where I feel like the defense... I feel like the defenses have probably won more. [Great defense is gonna beat great offense].

The NFL conditioning test for linemen is a joke now.

I think the lineman test is way easier now. It's like a joke. It's only the skill guys [that are hard], but the lineman ones is a joke. Now's not the time to like lower your standard.

I hope Pardon My Take is the only job I have for the rest of my life.

It's the best job ever. I always tell people that if I had told like a guidance counselor when I was in college or high school what I wanted to do when I grow up, I would've said something very similar to what this job is right now. Longest job I've ever had, by far. And I honestly want this to be the only job that I have for the rest of my life.

Arm length doesn't matter for a tackle as long as the quarterback doesn't have tiny hands

Arm length doesn't always dictate everything. If you have a guy that's got short arms that's playing tackle, it's not the end of the world unless maybe you also have a quarterback with tiny hands, in which case it's like synergy factors. Right. Where if the guy with short arms can't block the guy and then the guy with tiny hands gets hit, more likely to fumble.

You should never order appetizers at a steakhouse to maximize your sides

I'm of the mindset now that you don't need any appetizers at steakhouses. It's, it's a good place to run Zero apps... You don't need the calamari at a steakhouse... The sides at a steakhouse are elite. The mashed potatoes are always elite... mac and cheese always elite at a steakhouse, you wanna maximize your sides to go with a steak.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?

Trent Williams is the rare offensive lineman who is actually fun to watch play

Trent Williams is a joy to have on your team. He's just a fucking bully. He's also the rare offensive lineman where you have fun watching him play. Like after the ball was snapped, my eyes would just go to Trent Williams because it's like this guy, we might throw an interception, but Trent Williams might punch a guy in the throat.

E11even is a club with strippers, not a strip club

The national anthem at E11even last night... E11even is not a strip club, it is a club with strippers. So let's just get that clear. Because a lot of people were upset about it and I'm not gonna stand for it. Put some respect on E11even. It's a club with strippers.

The US should lobby to cancel Olympic hockey so we can remain the permanent gold medalists

Let's try to, if we win again, let's just try to get hockey canceled in the Olympics. So it just stays ours from now on. Like honestly, it's not good for the health and safety of the NHL players. It should go back to just being amateurs.

Jacob Bridgeman's wife is wrong; he is a better golfer than he is a person

Jacob Bridgeman... there was a clip on PGA tour posted from his wife that said he is a better person than he is a golfer. Not true. Not true, dude. You just won a PGA Tour tournament... You're a top 50 golfer alive right now. You're not top 50 human beings. Sorry buddy.

The UFL's three-point conversion and no punting rules are too gimmicky

The UFL just unveiled their rules today. A little bit gimmicky. They're doing a four point field goal for long field goals. You're not allowed to punt inside the 50 yard line. And then they've got one, two, and three point conversions. I don't like the banning of punting inside the 50. Field goals are worth three points. We don't want more field goals.

Mayweather and Pacquiao fighting at the Sphere is the coolest possible sporting event

Mayweather and Pacquiao were fighting again. Mayweather's 49, Pacquiao is 47. Why? This sucks. [PFT says it's at the Sphere]. Sphere? Oh fuck. I'm in. I'm so in. I'm so fucking in. That's awesome. The first sporting event. Sick.