Takes

As a pitcher, I would have definitely struck myself out as a hitter

Could you strike out you at your best as a hitter without even with blindfolded probably? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely strike me out. Throw the Hammer High fastball.

The NFL arranged Colin Kaepernick's workout as a legal strategy to prevent a second lawsuit

I really do think that they are worried they're going to get another lawsuit filed by Colin Kaepernick... It doesn't feel like a genuine attempt to help the guy. It feels like some sort of strategy... to make the league look better.

George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL

They were missing George Kittle though... that is a big loss because he's probably the best tight end in the NFL.

Russell Wilson is the one player I would trust most with the ball late in a game.

He is for my money the number one guy and I know it kind of spits in the face of the fact that he threw an interception. He is the one guy who I would want trust the most with the ball down late in the game.

Monday night is for cleaning up your life, not drinking and eating wings

I'm more confused to your Monday night like Monday night is for watching football and cleaning up your life not drinking and eating what planet are you? Monday night is not your get your act together sitting at home watching money. Football with beers and wings. That's the cleanup game brother.

Monday night is for easing yourself back into the work week with beers

Incorrect Monday night is ease yourself back into the work week taper off from your Sunday and your Saturday. I'm drinking.

Jackass is the greatest humor of all time.

Jackass is the greatest humor of all time when they fart baby powder in each other's faces... so fucking funny and I'm not being sarcastic whatsoever. Jackass is a masterpiece.

Patrick Mahomes has officially let the Bears off the hook for passing on him by liking a tweet defending the Mitchell Trubisky pick.

Patrick Mahomes liked that tweet... Patrick Mahomes is basically letting Ryan Pace off the hook. He has acknowledged that it was not the right choice for him to be drafted by the Bears and go to Chicago and get ruined.

I would have cut my own finger off like Ronnie Lott to avoid missing any playing time

They told me that story man and I was like, wow, did he actually do that? For real? For real? Did he didn't want to miss any time. So he decided to tell them to just you know, nip the edge... [Big Cat: Would you have done the same?] Without any hesitation. No. Okay. There you go.

Modern NFL players do not commit to their craft as hard as players did in the past.

I think players, they thought I was crazy and they don't have to do [that training] anymore. It's a lot different now and I think guys they just don't—maybe that's not right for me to say—they just don't commit to their craft like we did back in the day.

It is harder to catch a spiral from a left-handed quarterback than a right-handed one.

It is harder to catch a spiral from a lefty. The ball spins a different direction. I had a trainer that was a lefty and he threw me so many balls... I had never caught a ball from a lefty and I had to retrain. It just became natural eventually.

Walter Payton is the greatest football player in Mississippi history

All time I love I love sweetness. Okay. Number one. I will say then myself. [Big Cat: That's a very smart classy move].

The Astros scandal makes the Nationals' 2019 World Series win more impressive

This makes the Nationals world series title even more impressive. Yeah the fact that they were able to beat him. While they're eating Cheetos... 60% of the Astros runs were scored in the first inning before the Nationals would change how they were doing their signs.

Having pictures with professional cheerleaders on your dating profile is a normal way for guys to show they can act around attractive women.

Taking pictures with professional cheerleaders... and slapping that all over every single social media thing that you have is just part of being a guy. You want to show that you know how to act normal around attractive women, even if they were paid to be there.

A boyfriend yelling at kids on Call of Duty shows passion and means he's a keeper.

Keep him. I think it shows he's got passion. If he wasn't swearing at people, that means he would be good at Call of Duty and that means that he puts in way too much time. You want your boyfriend in that perfect zone where he wants to play video games but then gets smoked so bad that he's like 'Fuck this, I'm out.'

Freddie Kitchens is a legitimately 'dumb, dumb person'

Do you think Freddie just outsmarts himself all the time? No, I think he's legitimately a dumb, dumb person.

The most important people to recruit in a living room are the mom and grandma

It's mom and grandma. There's no doubt about that now... They want to know the man in charge, is he going to make sure that he's in good hands?

Russell Wilson is currently the best quarterback in the NFL

Russ is the best quarterback in the NFL right now from passer rating, from yards per attempt, from I think he's like second best in completion percentage above expectation when he's under pressure.

Daniel Jones needs a vice like smoking or video poker to improve his play

I think Daniel Jones biggest problem is I don't think he has a vice. I think he needs to maybe be a smoker or I don't know like video poker or something a gamer. Because it just feels like he's a little too plain. His vice is literally just throwing interceptions. So you need to shift that vice to something else.

If you are down 14 points and score a touchdown, you should always go for two

I understand that when you're down 14 and score a touchdown, you should go for two. That's not a brag. I just understand the math, but I think people—coaches now—are getting [criticized] more for being conservative and it's like flipped on its head.

Imagine Dragons music should be in the public domain

I think if it's Imagine Dragons Imagine Dragons should just be in the public domain there should not be the other attack. They got to protect their art like what those guys make beautiful beautiful art Imagine Dragons The Beatles Mozart and happy birthday.

Angela Duckworth is just monetizing the fact that untalented people are too dumb to quit

I saw who wrote the study and it was Angela Duckworth Who is the lady that wrote the grit book. She is grit exploitation. She is the big grit industrial complex. Most of us out there learn to appreciate grit because we had to because we lack talent and sports... we're also dumb enough to not quit. So therefore that's a good quality and I'm going to call it grit and she comes along and she's trying to make money off it.

Roy Williams has been more successful at North Carolina than Coach K has been at Duke during the same period

I think that Coach K is not as good a head coach as coach Williams. I think if you look at what Coach K's tenure at Duke [has been] while Roy Williams has been at UNC, by any measurement you can say that Roy Williams has been more successful.

Tom Izzo is overrated because he hasn't won a title since 2000

Tom Izzo is overrated. That's because he's other... He just hasn't won the big one. This is coasting. He's coasting.

Matt Painter is the new Bo Ryan and will win 20 to 25 games every year regardless of his roster

Matt Painter's the new Bo Ryan. Regardless of who he has, he's going to win 20 to 25 games every year. So it's death, taxes, Matt Painter.

Harvard has the most talented Ivy League roster I have ever covered

Harvard, most talented Ivy League roster I've ever covered. Tommy [Amaker] has eight high major players. You look at Harvard, you see a team that has the chops to be a second weekend type team in the NCAA tournament talent-wise.

The dry pasta appetizer at Campagnolo is more life-altering than Clear or TSA PreCheck

Dry pasta appetizer at Campagnolo is more life-altering than Clear or TSA PreCheck. They do a tri-pasta appetizer—they do a penne with a red sauce and an amatriciana, and a white mushroom and gnocchi with a pesto—it is life-altering.

Mike Francesa definitely farted on air

There's a two parts that he definitely farted. Number one: That's not a question. He then also in like the last play he had he farted on Tuesday and announced his retirement on Wednesday. That's how quickly it happens.

If you are going to threaten someone on Twitter, you should give your home address, not your team's facility address

My problem with what [Jermaine Whitehead] did. Not that he threatened people... My problem is he said meet me at this address and then gave the facility address. If you tell someone to meet you somewhere, it has to be your house, right? Man up.

Kirk Cousins is the quarterback you'd least want in the fourth quarter

If you had to ask yourself starting quarterbacks, who is the guy that you would at least want to have the ball in the fourth quarter to bring a team back to win? I actually think it's Kirk Cousins... He had the ball twice at the end of the game [against the Chiefs], three and out, three and out, and not even close.

Tyreek Hill would be a better safety than Rob Gronkowski for end-of-game defensive situations.

Why don't they just have Tyreek Hill play safety in end-of-game situations when you just need to chase? He could run down a hook and ladder four different times; he can run down anyone. I would much rather have him than Rob Gronkowski playing safety for them.

Matt Nagy needs to stop calling plays for the Bears

Matt Nagy needs to stop calling football games. He needs to hand over the play calling. It's not for him. It's not working. I like everything is broken. It's not working to do the same thing week in week out is fucking insane.

Russell Wilson is the #1 quarterback you want in a 4th-quarter comeback

I think Russell Wilson is number one now in the NFL. He is the guy who, if you're down in the fourth, you want him to have the ball... He had five touchdowns today. I think that was his fifth comeback fourth-quarter comeback this season.

Chris Carson is the greatest running back in the NFL who actually sucks.

I like Chris Carson, the running back on the Seattle Seahawks, I think he is very good. But he is the best running back in the NFL that sucks. He's the greatest who sucks because he fumbles the ball so frequently; he's got terrible, terrible ball security. He's really good, but he sucks.

Matt Patricia is a 'fake football guy' who just plays one on TV.

Matt Patricia has begun to strike me as a fake football guy. I think he idolizes football guys and aspires to be a football guy who hangs out around football... Basically Matt Patricia is like, 'I play a football guy on TV.' You have to have results to be a true bona fide football guy.

Coaching is the only job in the world that is truly recession-proof.

Coaching is the only job that's recession-proof. Because if the rich guys [boosters] lose money, they're not going to buy out, so every coach is safe. You want to be in nursing homes and coaching.

The Nate Diaz vs. Jorge Masvidal fight was stopped too early

They called the fucking fight early... Nate Diaz is the type of guy that I actually like his chances the more he gets the shit kicked out of him in the first three rounds. It wakes him up a little bit. The little nerdy doctor was like, 'No, this guy can't fight,' where Nate Diaz was like, 'No, I have not yet begun to fight.'

Max Scherzer is the pitcher of the decade over Clayton Kershaw

Does this mean that Max Scherzer is the picture of the decade? ... everyone says Clayton Kershaw is the picture of the decade now Max Scherzer has a World Series. He has just click resize Young's his 3 Cy Young's... I would say picture of the decade Max Scherzer.

The World Series trophy is the worst of the four major sports trophies

Where does World Series trophy [rank]? It sucks. Something's going to break a tiny pieces of thin metal on it's awful... It looks like it was built just to break it. You can't drink out of it. You can't hold it with one hand.

Nate Diaz is the cleanest athlete on the UFC roster

It's also probably the cleanest Athlete on the roster right a guy who immediately screamed innocence from the rooftops, which you would want any got to do. I always wonder why more guys if they do get flagged don't immediately do what Nate Diaz did... because then people really feel like you're innocent in this case obviously he was.

The NFL should allow reviews for player safety fouls like targeting and roughing the passer

I'd rather have the NFL review player safety fouls like college rules to targeting versus pass interference. I think pass interference is way too subjective... I would like to see some form of Replay on some of these roughing the passer calls or hits on defenseless players. I think that makes more sense for the NFL.

Joel Embiid is the most beloved sports figure for an athlete who hasn't won a championship yet

Is there a city that loves a player more than Joel Embiid is loved in Philly? ... He is Philly. I would say that he is the most beloved sports figure in a given City that hasn't really won anything [yet].

I would root for Vermont over Syracuse if they played in the tournament

I didn't grow up a Syracuse fan. So but now that you know that now I know people ask me all the time if they play each other in this year's tournament. I would root for Vermont because wow.

Dave Martinez's ejection in Game 6 was a legendary move and good for the team

The hero of the night is Dave Martinez. Trying to fight an Umpire with a bad ticker... he went full fucking aggro rageaholic on the omps and I loved every second of it. That's a manager who you want to play for.

NFL passing stats are currently meaningless because the era makes them so easy to manipulate

NFL passing stats are so funny. Tom Brady and Andy Dalton played in the same era, but because it was even like, you know, ten years ago, you can manipulate the stats through age 32, it's ridiculous. NFL passing stats are so fucking funny to look at whoever comes after this. We'll beat everyone before it.

DeColdest Crawford is the coolest name in the history of college football

The LSU Tigers signed a wide receiver named DeColdest Crawford. Yes. So DeColdest is making his way to Baton Rouge probably the coolest name. If not in the history of college football definitely in the history of Louisiana state.

We should use truth serum to find out if Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey are guilty

You just look at the [Steven Avery] case... just give them truth serum and will fucking find out in two seconds if they were murder... There is sodium pentothal. Sodium Pentothal, yeah. Yes methamphetamine. Okay a combination. Yeah combination and a cigarette... and you can find out where the bodies are. Did they really do it?

I have the heart of a 16-year-old despite my health scares

I do this treadmill thing and I run it... then they said we want to see the girls' [ID]... because you're not this age. You got a 16-year-old heart. Dr. Oz filmed it... she goes, there's nothing wrong.

I could fight my way out of this room right now and beat everyone up

[Big Cat]: Could you fight your way out of this room right now? [Dog]: Oh, yeah all of us on you - well you think David would be there too. [Big Cat]: So he take David out. He's he goes out of the room and he's like dog they're going to fight for their life to keep you in this room. [Dog]: Well you get out. When do you get an a gang like that? And you get somebody jumps you you take one of them and It could don't quit beatin him and you just because you're going to you're getting it from the side in the back of you is keep hitting the one right there.

I would take over and coach US Soccer

I will take over US Soccer. I would be the coach of US Soccer... You automatically get to drive an Audi. That's part of the deal... I would like that.