Takes

Being the number one overall pick is a psychological burden for a young player

Being the number one pick, the, the, the weight I carried around, the expectations... I walked around with it everywhere I went... it kind of, you know, a little bit, yeah, it kind of took, you know, kind of digging myself that hole.

Stability is much harder for a young quarterback when playing for a defensive head coach

As a quarterback, that's the big difference, I think, between playing for a defensive head coach and an offensive head coach. As a defensive head coach, as great as it can be, you're still constantly – if you do well, your coordinator's leaving. And so the stability is always in question there.

Rain is the worst weather for a quarterback, even worse than snow

Rain's the worst. Like dumping rain. Like if it were 40 degrees and raining and windy, that's the worst. I'll take snow over rain. Snow's actually fun.

Aaron Rodgers is a better 'tools' quarterback than Tom Brady

Technically speaking, Aaron Rodgers is a better quarterback. I agree with that. If you're talking about the tools, Aaron Rodgers' arm is off the charts and his ability to move is off the charts. That's just a fact. If you're starting a football team, your better chance is to take Rodgers and build around him because of his pure, raw physical talent.

Supporting the Chief Wahoo logo is actually anti-military because it represents stolen valor

Take a good look at Chief Wahoo because Chief Wahoo has one feather in his cap, right? And he's going around by Chief. This is stolen valor... that I word, is stealing valor from proper Chiefs. So if you support Chief Wahoo, then in reality, you're actually anti-military.

The NHL is a money laundering operation for Russia

If you were to run the NHL as a money laundering operation, you would not do anything differently than Gary Bettman has done in the last 10 years... I'm guessing it's some sort of a money laundering scheme from Russia. That's the only thing I can come up with.

George W. Bush is the Josh Allen of presidents

George W. Bush... America loves the guy now. He is back in a bit. He's got he's the Josh Allen of presidents. The longer he goes without playing well, the better he becomes. And the more he goes up people's big boards.

Rob Gronkowski is arguably the greatest tight end of all time

87 to me was like I had no idea how good he was. I knew he was one of the greatest of all time, but that guy is probably just as easily separating himself from the competition with tight ends throughout the history of our league as 12 is [at quarterback]. So, I mean, that dude is unreal.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are pretending to be in a crisis just to troll the media

I actually do think they're joking, but they're at the point where they're pretending to cause controversy and... kind of like doing like the fake news award... so that they can then turn it around and be like, no, we were joking. See how you guys misconstrue everything.

The Cleveland Cavaliers care more about what the media says than practicing

I actually think that the Cleveland Cavaliers spend more time reading Twitter than practicing... they care that much about what the media is saying that they've gone overboard.

Roger Federer is the undisputed GOAT of tennis

Roger Federer, now the GOAT. His 20th [Major].

Aaron Rodgers is the hardest quarterback to play against regardless of his receivers

If you got Aaron Rodgers throwing to you, I don't care what the last name on the back of the receiver's jersey is, Aaron is going to put the ball in places I can't get it. He's going to throw his out routes out of bounds. He's going to throw his fade routes at the back of my head.

I would be perfect in today's NFL because of the rule changes

Oh, I would love it. It would basically fit me perfect. I was a true cover guy... when you're playing in the NFL, hitting somebody, really crushing them is a sin. So I'm perfect in this NFL. I'm going to go out here and I'm going to intercept balls and I'm going to play football.

NFL players could successfully perform on a plant-based diet

Absolutely. I think it would really help them. I think it'll transform them back to their rookie second season, third season type feel. And, you know, we're always looking for edge. And anytime you can attain more energy, or perform at the same level as you did in the first quarter, as you do in the fourth quarter, I think guys would really benefit from it.

The 'Greatest Show on Turf' Rams would easily average 42 to 45 points per game in the modern NFL.

If we played in the same rules, I mean, we could easily score 42, 45 points a game this day and time.

The Patriots filmed the Rams Super Bowl walkthrough

Off the record. [Big Cat: Did the Patriots film your walkthrough at the Super Bowl?] Yes. I'll say yes. And I think it gave him an edge as well. I mean, you know, we were really rolling that year, and no one covered us... TMZ never came out with that tape. You never saw that tape. [But] he [Terrell Buckley] was beating us to spots and he hadn't been there that long and he was on the street.

Kirk Cousins is not a franchise quarterback because he grills steaks in aluminum foil boats

He was grilling steaks on his grill, outdoor grill, with aluminum foil boats. That right there, red flag. Not a franchise quarterback. What the fuck are you doing, dude? ... It sounds like maybe he's got a dirty grill. Just scrape that shit up, Kurt.

Kevin Love was not actually sick when he left the game against the Thunder

I don't think Kevin Love was sick. I'm going to be the one to say it... I think Kevin Love is maybe like he gets more shit than any other athlete ever. Undeserved shit.

LeBron James' Instagram post to his younger self is the most unintentionally funny thing ever

Every single time you read something [LeBron James] posts, it is like the most unintentionally funny shit that you will ever hear in your life... He invented fourth person. It's him referring to himself, but in the past.

Jason Kidd was an objectively terrible coach for the Milwaukee Bucks

Jason Kidd was, by all objective measurements, a terrible coach.

Amazon's no-employee stores are the beginning of the robot takeover

Amazon opened its first no-employee store... I'm pretty sure this is exactly how the robot takeover starts... I think we're all fucked. So this is basically 1984. This is Big Brother. It exists, but it exists in supermarkets.

Patriots fans will be the classiest fan base in Minnesota during Super Bowl LII

[The Patriots] are going to be the classiest fan base in Minnesota because Minnesota people are coming back to Minnesota with tragic and horror stories about how mean the Philadelphia fans were to them. So it's going to be exciting to see if they try and do anything back to Philly fans next week.

Duke is cheating to land the top recruits in college basketball

I seriously do think Duke is cheating their ass off. It's amazing to me that Coach K has kind of brainwashed the rest of the country that if this happened literally any other school, people would start screaming about how they're cheating... Duke is landing the top three guys, and they're not paying anybody? No.

My rule for peeing is that the closest hole available gets the pee

My rule of thumb here is closest hole gets the pee. So whatever hole is closest to you at that moment, you pee right into it.

A drinking straw only has one hole

I think it's one hole... Straw is the sphere... the hole starts and it just goes on forever. If you go in a tunnel, are you saying there's no hole in a tunnel? No, the entire tunnel is a hole. That's one hole.

Vontae Burfict is an 'on-the-field gangster' and not a real tough guy

I didn't like Vontae Burfict. I didn't like that motherfucker at all because I felt like he was one of those dudes that—I don't believe in on-the-field gangsters... sometimes when you play guys, you can tell it's like a WWE character. They're big bad. But once you get off the field, and we're in the parking lot... they're like, oh, I don't want to do that.

Rex Ryan's downfall as a coach was being too loyal to his staff

I think he's too loyal. And I think that's his biggest downfall... all his guys and his coaching staff, he's been with those guys for years... he should have left them on the side of the road and kind of recruited better coaches to, one, deal with young talent, two, guys who are better equipped for the role.

A player will not have a long NFL career if they don't love football

If you don't love football, you won't have a long career. You just won't. I remember when I was playing, I would watch, not only myself, but I would watch other linemen around the league... there was guys that were digesting what was going on around the league... and it pays off, man.

There should be a Tinder-style app specifically for finding people to fistfight

It's Tinder, but for people that want to get into fistfights... I just want to have a gentlemanly... I just want to punch somebody and get punched... find somebody who is my approximate height and weight, so it would be a nice fair fight.

There should be a 'Hammered' gym where you build bars while drinking beer

What about a gym called Hammered and it's like kind of one of those obscure like CrossFit type of gyms where it's just all you do is hammer things in for your workout while you drink beer... build a bar so that you can drink at it.

The Jaguars are the best team in football talent-wise

Jacksonville is the best team in football. They have the best players on the field on a week-to-week basis. I said, the problem is you've got to knock them down a few ranks because they have the 70th best quarterback.

Rob Gronkowski is the greatest tight end and greatest mismatch in the history of football

Gronk is... He's unguardable. He's unguardable. He's the greatest mismatch in the history of football. He's the greatest tight end in the history of football.

Jeff Fisher should be an NFL General Manager

Fisher's eye for talent. That's where I was going with this. To me, he should be a GM... He has built phenomenal – like the Rams team, you could see, has got talent... Aaron Donald, Quinn, Alec Ogletree... All those guys are Fisher guys.

If Bill Belichick worked on Wall Street, he would be the Wolf of Wall Street

Belichick is one of the smartest humans I've ever been around. If he was working on Wall Street, he'd be the Wolf of Wall Street. He is the great thinker. He analyzes everything.

Adam Schefter covering the NBA has become a distraction

And this one is for our little pee boy... Adam Schefter, who was scooped on the Todd Haley news when he was on the Le Batard show talking about the NBA. Yeah, has the NBA become a distraction for Adam Schefter?

If you appear on a screen for your job, you should be allowed to use steroids

My new rule is if in the course of your profession, you appear on a screen, you should be allowed to use steroids. That's a fair... It should be legal... If you appear on a screen in your job, just go ahead and shoot up whatever you want.

I could take a beating from Chris Paul or James Harden longer than any other NBA player

Chris Paul threatening to have a fight with me. I think that is one NBA player that I think would kick my ass the slowest. So it would take him the longest to beat me up. [James Harden] would probably run out of breath somewhere around there.

The NBA should allow players to fight on the court like in hockey to monetize it

This is why the NBA needs to let the players fight on the court, like in hockey. Because at least you get to monetize it. At least we get to see it happen. Now we're just left imagining.

Austin Rivers is the primary person to blame for the Clippers-Rockets tunnel fight

I'm going to leapfrog Austin Rivers to number one [on the blame list] just because the coach's son factor. That will get your blood going. If they had a gun... and you had one bullet, I know that you have to shoot Austin Rivers if you're Chris Paul, right? That's the guy that you would take out. I blame him.

The New York Giants job is the most attractive head coaching vacancy in the NFL

Would you rather be in the NFC North, the AFC South, or the NFC East? I think right now I'd rather be in the NFC East. [The New York Giants]... Now, do you have a quarterback in that team? [Eli Manning]... How high is your draft pick? Pretty high. [No. 2]... I think you guys are starting to answer your own questions.

The tunnel scuffle with the Rockets was just locker room talk and boys being boys

I can't imagine what everybody back in town was thinking when they heard that is what was happening... Continuity error. No, you're right. It was just a boys will be boys situation... Locker room talk. Yeah, exactly.

The Divisional Round should be renamed the 'Best Fucking Weekend of Football of the Year'

I just nominate, we call it the best fucking weekend of football of the year.

Steve Sarkeesian being hired by the Falcons cost Georgia the national championship

If Steve Sarkeesian hadn't been hired by the Falcons, Georgia would have won the national championship because he still would be in the booth for Alabama. And the Falcons probably would have been a decent team this year because they wouldn't have had him calling the same 10 plays over and over.

My theory that Mike Tomlin stinks is confirmed

My theory that Mike Tomlin stinks stands and is confirmed even more. How do you, one, lose the Jaguars at home, two, have spit on your beard for an entire half and have no one [tell you].

Tom Izzo is overrated

Tom Izzo's overrated. Lost at home to Michigan. Can't do that... Tons of talent, and they are wildly underperforming.

Tony Romo is a good announcer but he talks way too much

Let the fucking moments breathe. All he does is talk. He talks the entire broadcast... I hate how much some people think he's the perfect analyst... If he just let it breathe a little bit, he would be everything everyone says that he already is.

The divisional round is the best weekend of football

I would like to contend that the divisional round is the best weekend of football. Saturday and Sunday. It is a full weekend of football, and you're going to miss this. Actually, just one week when there are just two games left.

The Olympic hockey committee ruining the games by banning NHL players is a joke

It's a joke. You can't. The NHL asked if they could at least show the videos from the Olympics, which you can't do. They wanted the NHL logos on the board. They wouldn't do that. So at some point it's both sides, but it does suck for the game.

The NHL does a terrible job of marketing the league

I feel like the NHL just doesn't do a good job of marketing the league. It's so goofy. I don't understand it. You do stuff that really kind of confuses the casual fan. They haven't talked about [the All-Star Game] at all.

Jalen Hurts would be the perfect Ohio State quarterback because he could just run up the middle

He would actually be the perfect Ohio State quarterback. Yeah. [Ohio State] does like [quarterbacks like] J.T. Barrett. There'd be no drop-off. Get another fifth-year guy in there who just runs up the middle over and over until you can't tackle him.