Takes

Zach Wilson might actually be good because the rest of the Jets are the problem

That Zach Wilson actually might be good because Mike White is bad. So maybe it's not just Zach Wilson... The Jets are just like, you know, it might not be a quarterback problem. So we could have a quarterback in the future. They've identified the problem, which is the entire team.

Cam Newton should move to tight end

I would like to see Cam [Newton] move to tight end. I still think that Cam would be an awesome tight end right now. He's big enough. He's strong enough still. He's fast enough to get the job done as a tight end.

Hollywood actors in Marvel movies use a 'Marvel doctor' for HGH

I want to be in [a Marvel movie] just so I can meet their 'doctor feel good'. I want an excuse to have Elvis' bag man come in and hook me up. Because my man, Kumail Nanjiani... I see him in Eternals. And I'm like, 'whatever's going on, I want some of that.'

If the Chiefs lose this weekend, they are done as contenders

I think if the Chiefs lose, I'm taking the 'Dunn' chain out. I'm thinking about throwing it on the Chiefs... I'm done thinking the Chiefs are just going to flip the switch and become the Chiefs of two years ago.

The NFL covered up Aaron Rodgers ignoring COVID protocols for ratings

I'm pretty sure that the NFL, according to their own rules, should have suspended Aaron Rodgers. Should have fined him. And they're covering up the fact that he just ignored all the protocols because he's Aaron Rodgers and the rules don't apply to him. And they're like, 'You know what? We could have Aaron Rodgers sit out for multiple weeks, but I really like ratings.'

Jimmy Butler is a top-one player in the NBA

Jimmy Butler is a king, top one player in the NBA. He got fined due to attempting to escalate the situation and also for not snitching.

Based on Week 10 results, Michigan should be the #2 team in the country

If you want to go just from week 10 results, Michigan should be the number two team in the country because they actually handled their business against Indiana, and Indiana never was in that game.

Ole Miss will blow out Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl 60-14

Egg Bowl, I think it's going to be like 60 to 14. Yeah, we're going to blow Mississippi State out.

Baker Mayfield and the Browns are significantly better without Odell Beckham

It is not a hot take to say that the Browns are just significantly better and Baker Mayfield is significantly better without Odell Beckham. ... Because he doesn't have to feel like he has to throw the ball to Odell Beckham, and if he misses Odell Beckham, Odell Beckham's dad's going to make a fucking mixtape with R.E.M. behind it.

Vikings fans are not allowed to say they are a couple plays away from being a good team

Vikings fans, you are not allowed to say we are a couple plays away from being a good team because at some point you are what you are, and the Vikings are just the team that can play teams close but can never win a game.

The 49ers are officially a broken group of guys

I think the 49ers are officially a broken group of guys. If [Garoppolo] makes that pass, that one pass... That he overthrew Emmanuel Sanders. Everything changes.

Jordan Love is not ready for the NFL

Jordan Love... He wasn't ready. I don't think any amount of sitting is going to make him better at football. ... He's not ready, guys. I don't think you want to give him more time. ... Jordan Love stunk. He's so bad.

Tom Brady killed the Chiefs dynasty before it even started

The Chiefs are so bad... Tom Brady killed the Chiefs. I think not enough people are talking about it. He ended their dynasty. It wasn't really a dynasty, though... He snuffed out, he traveled back in time, baby Hitler'd the Chiefs dynasty.

Ariel Helwani is a pussy and a crybaby victim

He's just one of those fucking, he's a pussy, and he's a fucking, just a big fucking crybaby victim... We have the toughest sport in the world being covered by the biggest pussies in the world.

Conor McGregor is still one of the top ten best fighters in the world

Conor McGregor... he's still one of the top ten guys in the world. I mean, he's still one of the top ten best guys in the world... Conor coming back is a headliner.

The Red Sox would have beaten the Braves if they made the World Series

Absolutely. Absolutely. Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. Thank you. 2021 World Series champions.

The ACC should not be a Power 5 conference in football when Clemson is bad

The ACC is so down, they don't have wins against ranked teams. I don't think the ACC should be a Power 5 conference in football. When Clemson's bad, it hurts. I really don't. It hurts.

I am officially out again 100% on Carson Wentz

The problem is when he makes a bad play like that one, it's like staring into Satan's butthole and you're like, I've never seen anything this ugly before in my life. It's terrible. I think now I'm officially out again, 100% on Carson Wentz.

Deebo Samuel will break Jerry Rice's 49ers single-season receiving record

Deebo Samuel is electric and Deebo Samuel is most likely if he stays healthy, going to break Jerry Rice's 49ers single-season record.

Trevor Lawrence is showing bust-like tendencies

I'm not going to say [Trevor Lawrence] is a bust just yet, but he's showing me bust-like tendencies. I can't really judge anything in this system and the whole Urban [Meyer] environment.

Kyler Murray is a soft football player

The story out of Glendale tonight, I think is that Kyler Murray is soft. This is soft football player. I haven't heard anybody drop the S bomb on him. I think he gets a lot of leniency because he's a short king. And I actually just think that he's a little bit soft.

The Detroit Lions will beat the Philadelphia Eagles outright

I agree with you, Hank. I think the lions are going to win outright... I'm strictly viewing this game as a matchup between Dan Campbell and Nick Sirianni. And I feel like, I feel like Dan Campbell just takes a shit all over Nick Sirianni's brain.

The Malice at the Palace was started by the fans, not the players

Ben Wallace had nothing to do with the malice in the palace. You know what I'm saying? Ben Wallace had that happens all the time where a player fights a player, the fans started the Malice in the Palace... I wasn't okay with taking the full blame, you know, I, I wasn't okay with that.

Peyton Manning essentially admitted to cheating by doctoring footballs on the ManningCast

Peyton Manning starts going off this rant about how the ball boys in Indianapolis use the special sauce and they did all these tricks of the trade and did all this shit with the ball... and it's just crickets. Why not have that conversation when Brady is on the air... and Peyton is just like, yeah, we had our special sauce.

Pete Carroll is coaching for his job and is just a manager of talent rather than an X's and O's guy

I think that Pete Carroll might be coaching for his job. What the absence of Russell Wilson has shown is that Pete Carroll, without an elite quarterback... Russell Wilson has been doing a lot to keep Pete Carroll looking like a great coach. I don't think he has a great X's and O's guy. I don't think he's a good decision maker.

The Buccaneers had no legal right to reclaim Tom Brady's 600th touchdown ball from the fan

I looked at the season ticket agreement. I looked at the general ticket agreement... there's nothing on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers tickets that would give them the right to go get it... I don't think they'd have a leg to stand on if it would end up in court.

There is a greater than 50% chance Dan Snyder is forced to sell the Washington Football Team

I'd say once somebody with the power to get to the bottom of it gets involved [Congress], it gets north of 50... Once we know about some of the things that Beth Wilkinson, the investigator found, yeah, I think it becomes untenable at that point publicly for Snyder to continue.

Weather should never be factored into betting over/unders

The weather's not going to—like, that's not going to be. I obviously have a lot of numbers and a lot of data points checking over in the rain. One of those data points is not weather. Not on over unders ever. No.

The Kansas City Chiefs are broken

I'm officially they're broken if you think otherwise you're, you're, you're deluding yourself. Because like I said, if you just go through their schedule and who they've played, they've played four of the—outside of the Bengals who are the best team in AFC right now... they lost all of them. So it's, it's a real problem.

If Ben Simmons is faking mental health issues to avoid playing, he is setting mental health awareness back significantly

I applaud Ben Simmons for being so brave. Yes, exactly. I would like to agree. Yeah. I would say it's okay to not be okay... If he is faking it, he's actually setting mental health way back way.

I am officially on my 'last straw' with the Washington Football Team's organization

My announcement is I am officially on my last straw. Washington football team last straw. In fact, I went out, I bought a straw... If it gets anything bad, happens to the point where I, I lose faith in this organization again. Well, what, what Hank you, what else could they do that during my soul to you? They're only good players dead. And they fucked up his retirement ceremony.

The internet should be shut down or strictly monitored

It's really a, it's a low point, you know, point in, I think the internet should be shut down and, or at least monitored. You gotta somehow, like I've been doing this bit about in cells that, you know, a bunch of people who aren't don't know how to talk to women, talk to a bunch of other people don't know how to talk to women. And in the end, they're all blaming women.

Ben Simmons should just quit playing basketball

I think at this point, Ben Simmons should just quit playing basketball. I think he should quit. I think he just doesn't like it. I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't like playing basketball... if he doesn't like doing it, he should just quit.

Alex Ovechkin will pass Wayne Gretzky for the all-time goal record

I think he's going to pass Wayne Gretzky. I do. Cause if the league hasn't figured out how to stop that shot after how many years he's been in there... He can continue to do that for five years, right?

Trevor Lawrence is the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances

Trevor Lawrence is actually the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances, given the fact that his coach [Urban Meyer] is the horniest guy in the world, the team stinks... he's providing a steady hand and he's guiding this franchise during a tumultuous time.

You cannot trust a left-handed quarterback

I do think when you're a wait and see guy and your guy that might not be very good is also a lefty... I don't know, I really do think lefties, I think we've heard players say that it's weird, it's different catching a ball from a lefty... I've just always thought lefties are weird.

Tony Romo is no longer a top-tier announcer

That's probably if like in 20 years when they write the book about Pardon My Take, I think that like us being the first to say Tony Romo not that good. That'd be a big one.

The Green Bay Packers will not win the Super Bowl because Aaron Rodgers doesn't win championships anymore

I don't think that the Packers can be in [Super Bowl contenders] unfortunately... because Aaron Rodgers, he doesn't win championships.

Florida QB Anthony Richardson is Cam Newton 2.0 and a 2022 Heisman candidate

Florida's quarterback that they put in second [Anthony Richardson] is Cam Newton 2.0, yes. He's on my big board for Heisman next year.

I am selling all my Jalen Hurts stock

He drifts in the most unproductive angles. He runs backwards into the sideline and tries to throw the ball away. He's had a couple games where he's played well. I'm not buying Jalen Hurts. If he's a stock, I think I'm selling all my stocks that I have in Jalen Hurts.

Mark Davis should be the interim head coach of the Raiders

Mark Davis should be the coach. Give us Mark Davis as the coach of the Raiders today. Why not? [Al Davis] did it. His dad did it. He would be awesome.

Caleb Williams will be the best quarterback in all of college football

Caleb Williams is like Oklahoma is so unfair that they have a backup who is better than their starter who's now going to be like the best quarterback in all of college football. And they're like, oh, yeah, let's just put this guy in.

Urban Meyer has lost the trust of the Jaguars locker room and cannot recover it

Is there any way he can get back the trust in that locker room? [Booger]: No, I don't think so. I don't think Urban can... not only did you leave us, you went to the bar and you got a female that's not your wife and she's twerking on you... as a head coach, you just can't do that. That's the only thing I would say. You just can't do that.

Spencer Rattler will never start another game for Oklahoma barring injury

Spencer Rattler, to your point, I don't think Spencer Rattler is going to start another game at Oklahoma barring injury over the next couple of years. Caleb Williams came in and galvanized the team. So if Lincoln [Riley] stood in front of the team and said, hey, we're going back to Spencer, he would lose every player in there.

Taylor Heinicke is good enough to be an above-average franchise quarterback

Taylor Heineke has shown me enough where I think that he's the guy in the sense of we don't need to go out and get a new quarterback. We should roll the dice with Taylor Heineke for the next two years... He's good enough to be an above-average quarterback in the NFL.

Urban Meyer is addicted to lying

I actually think that Urban Meyer is addicted to lying. I think he loves to lie. I think even when he doesn't have a reason to be lying about something, he opens his mouth and the first words that come out are not the truth. That's just how he operates. His reality is different from what you and I see.

The Bears might be back and could beat the Packers next week

The Bears might be back. I'm just going to say it right now. I know that I only have a week to say this because they have to play the Packers on Sunday... But I have also told myself I think the Bears might beat the Packers because that's Soldier Field.

I think Geno Smith might be a franchise quarterback

I think Geno Smith, I think he might be a franchise quarterback.

I am officially 'standing my ground' on the Steelers against the Broncos

My personal stand my ground game where if the Steelers don't win this game, I am done not only with the Steelers this season, but done betting on them, just pretending they don't exist. This is the game that if they have any pulse left, it's a pulse check. If they have any pulse left, they will win this game.

The Cowboys are currently #2 in the NFL if we used BCS rankings

If we did BCS rankings for the teams right now, I think the Super Bowl would maybe be the Cardinals versus the Cowboys because the Cowboys have the best loss. I think the Cowboys might be number two in the BCS.