Takes

The Chiefs will beat the Packers outright without Patrick Mahomes

What do you think the line would be if Mahomes was playing?... I think they're going to win outright.

I would return to WWE for $20 to $25 million

I think the conversation would have to start at somewhere like, I don't know, 20, 25 [million].

Tom Brady will be the starting quarterback for the Chargers in 2020

So you can see pretty easily by those three facts that Tom Brady is going to be the quarterback for the Los Angeles Chargers next year.

Tom Brady could return to the 49ers just to 'cuck' Jimmy Garoppolo again

I was going to say how funny it would be if he just went to San Francisco and was like, I want to finish my hometown team. Jimmy, you're out. Just cucks Jimmy again.

Matt Nagy is cracking and losing his mind as the Bears head coach

My hot seat is Matt Nagy. He's cracking. He's losing his mind. He had the Bears throwing egg toss in practice. That screams like, 'Hey, I'm just trying to do one of those fun games that you do in training camp,' but it's the middle of the season. And yikes. He also told all the players to stay off Twitter.

The Falcons are the worst team in the NFL

Are the Falcons maybe the worst team in the NFL? See they still have that lingering sense of they were winning in the Super Bowl a couple years ago... but they are really, really bad. Their defense is one of the worst I've ever seen.

Pat Shurmur is a terrible coach and should be fired

I think [Pat Shurmur] is a terrible, terrible head coach and I think he should be fired... Eli Manning was essentially like a body shield for Pat Shurmur... Daniel Jones seems to be pretty good, you have Saquon Barkley, you had [Evan] Engram back, Golden Tate and you stink.

The Chicago Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback

The Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback. It will never ever happen. It will never happen. The fact that we had DeShaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes in that draft class, it will never happen. It is destined. It is preordained.

Aaron Judge is too tall to be a consistent hitter

My hot take [is] that Aaron Judge is too tall... Altuve would be basically at his tits and [Judge] can't like get his body down that low... the strike zone is much bigger. It's a fact that the strike zone is bigger.

LeBron James only defended China to protect his Space Jam 2 ticket sales

LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China because he wants to sell his stupid movie Space Jam 2. Space Jam 1 is better.

Bryce Harper should get a World Series ring if the Nationals win one

Bryce Harper should get a World Series ring if we win one. He got this whole thing started. He said, 'I'm here to bring a title back to D.C.' Bryce Harper, we're doing it for you.

I am done with U.S. Men's Soccer after the loss to Canada

Just when you think it couldn't get worse, we lose to Canada. ... I'm done with the U.S. soccer until they start fucking just doing anything. ... I'm done being embarrassed. I want them to be good.

NFL officials are individually better than ever, but overall officiating is worse

I think the officials from top to bottom are better, but the officiating is worse. And, you know, it's been created by replay. It's created by a system that's called 'O to O' Officials to Officials. They now have the replay guy in their ear. They have New York in their ear. It's easier to sit back and think that things are going to be corrected for you.

NFL pass interference replay rule won't return in its current form next year

I think it's impossible that the rule, the way that it is judged now, pass interference, the replay element, I think it's impossible for that to move on beyond this year. ... I think what is obvious to me is that the rule in its current form will not be back next year.

The Kansas City Chiefs are a soft football team

I'm going to say it again. I did say it last week that the S word, I'll say it. They're soft... When you can just go into a team's home environment... and run the ball like the Colts did and like the Texans did, you get the soft tag for me.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are going to win the AFC North

I said this to you, PFT, a few weeks ago. I think the Steelers are still going to win the AFC North... They'll just go and fuck around and win this whole thing.

DeAndre Hopkins has the best hands in NFL history

Definitely my boy [DeAndre Hopkins] man. I mean, there ain't nobody in the game—I don't think anybody in history—got better hands than [Hopkins]. He's the only receiver ever done it when he had zero drops in one season, 115 catches. That's pretty crazy.

I am 75% confident that Dan Snyder is trying to trade for Mike Tomlin

Leroy reported earlier today that Dan Snyder's plane was in Pittsburgh at the private airport with photo evidence. I'm 75% confident in that scoop... He's trying to trade for Mike Tomlin.

The Nationals are a better team without Bryce Harper

Listen, the Nats are a better team without Bryce Harper. That's a fact. It is a fact.

Ben Simmons will hit a three-pointer in his first preseason game tonight

He has his first preseason game tonight, so we'll see if he hits one. Do you guys think he'll hit one in his first game tonight? A three-pointer? ... I think yes.

NBA players and coaches should admit they only care about China's money

I would prefer if they just said: our money is paid in large part by China and all these people buying league pass. And it's a big fucking country. And we're trying to sell a shitload of Kobe jerseys. So therefore, we are going to remove ourselves from this discussion.

I don't trust anyone who marries someone they went to college with

First of all, right off the bat, I don't really trust anybody that gets married to somebody that they went to college with.

The Chiefs are a regular season team that will get bullied in the playoffs

It's kind of like the old Peyton Manning Colts teams who would put up, you know, insane stats in the regular season and then get bullied in the in the postseason.

I would trade a first-round pick for Justin Tucker

Honestly the way the Titans are built where its defense and you don't know which Marcus Mariota you're going to get I would trade a first-round pick for Justin Tucker.

The Chicago Bears are officially fucked

The Bears are fucked. I don't feel like the future. I don't think they're fuck for we've gone all in and we have no offense and the schedule is going to be insanely hard coming up and they are not a well-balanced team... the Bears are officially fucked.

The Ravens are severely overrated

I do think the Ravens are severely overrated. ... They've done a major comeback to earth for the last couple weeks.

Betting every single moneyline underdog is a winning strategy

I love 11 Moneyline underdogs. ... It worked out really well for me last week, and I'm very concerned because I know it's probably not going to work out as well. ... I've convinced so many people in the office that it's a winning strategy.

Adult males who buy baseball pants should be put on a no-fly list

I think any time somebody buys an adult male buys a pair of baseball pants. They should be put on a no-fly list.

The Nationals are a team of destiny

I'm beginning to think team of destiny. The oh the Nats. Yeah. Okay, prove me wrong.

Kirk Cousins is a beta for apologizing to Adam Thielen

Our long National nightmare is over. Yes Kirk Cousins apologize to Adam thielen for not throwing the ball more deep on Sunday... so such a beta so so virgin Kirk Cousins Chad Adam thielen.

The Florida Panthers are the most irrelevant franchise in the history of sports

Could you think of a more like a more forgettable franchise. Whoa. I don't think so... Florida Panthers of the most irrelevant get your charade rise in the history of sports have to be.

Patrick Mahomes is allergic to air conditioning and indoor stadiums

Mahomes first game indoors... I just think he's allergic to air conditioning... He's the reverse the maybe that is his one Kryptonite, right? The ceilings is... healing is literally the roof. He can't handle the fact that he can't throw the ball like a million million yards in the air when he's throwing it deep to someone he needs the sun. He's like a plant.

Arch Manning will be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years

Arch Manning who's going to be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years. Arch Manning is going to play in the NFL for 20 years isn't he?

The University of Virginia will never win a big game in their 'candy-ass' orange uniforms

UVA can't win a big game... Candy-ass... UVA can't win a big game. Okay D'ass that orange that that it's candy-ass... They will never win a big game. I have said it and so it hath been said.

The Green Bay Packers are dead

Today is Friday, September 27th, and the Green Bay Packers are dead.

Patrick Mahomes will throw for 6,000 yards

He's still going to throw for 6,000 yards. When I say he's taken a step back, I mean he went from 100 out of 100 to like 99.5 out of 100.

Ranking Steph Curry over Kobe Bryant all-time is crazy

Bleacher Report came out with their top 50 all-time NBA players and Kobe was 14, Steph Curry is 10... They're mad. They're real mad. They're big mad.

Dan Snyder must be removed as owner of the Redskins

The nepotism, the racial slurs, the incompetent one-sided negotiations, the the awful trade deals that were getting ourselves into... it's time that we remove Dan Snyder. It's time we get his ass out of the nation's capital.

Jeff Bezos remains bald to keep the 'fire within' to destroy the world

Bald guys are angrier... I think he keeps himself bald to keep that Fire Within. If he had his hair he be like everything's perfect. Why would I build a bunch of robot drones that could kill the world?

The Minnesota Vikings are officially in the Done Chain.

My Done Chain, by the way, is the Vikings... I'm done hanging off of two and one because I got balls. That's why. Because Kirk Cousins, I'm that confident. This was the ultimate Kirk Cousins game.

Derek Carr will be benched or injured before the Raiders return from their 48-day road trip.

Will Derek Carr be the starting quarterback when the Oakland Raiders play their next game in Oakland?... I'm going to say it. Derek Carr will not be the starting quarterback for the Oakland Raiders when they play the next game in Oakland.

Mike Gundy will leave Oklahoma State to coach the Carolina Panthers in the NFL.

I want to put this out there in the tickler file for you... Mike Gundy taking an NFL job next year... Mike Gundy is going to Houston... or the Vikings or the Panthers. I think Gundy's wanted to go to the NFL for a while.

Frank Gore's longevity at 36 is more impressive than Tom Brady's.

Frank Gore, he's 36 years old. He's never going to stop... This would be a take: Frank Gore and his age is more impressive than Tom Brady and his age... a running back shouldn't be playing at 36.

Wisconsin is the best college football team in the country right now.

I've officially got my hopes up for the Wisconsin Badgers season. As I sit here right now, I think they're the best team in the country.

Ryan Tannehill will take a step forward and become a real quarterback this year

I think the Titans still are a decent team, but I actually, in a crazy world, I think Ryan Tannehill is ready to start and take a step forward. This is the year Ryan Tannehill finally takes a step forward and becomes a real quarterback.

Downfield laterals will be the next big innovation in the NFL

In the future, more teams will look to do downfield laterals of the football because it's very difficult for the defense. It puts a lot of stress on them... If you design something off of that where you did have some semblance of success, that would be big.

The Spurs intentionally turned off the AC during Game 1 of the 2014 NBA Finals

[Big Cat]: Do you think the Spurs intentionally turned off the AC in that final? [Bosh]: Absolutely. Of course. That's like Red Auerbach was known. If you're in Boston, the fire things that come off or whatever... I mean, he never denied it, right? But yeah, if I'm them, I'm trying to win.

The Dolphins will break the record for the biggest point spread in NFL history this season

The Dolphins are going to break, I think they are going to break a record this year for biggest point spread. They have to, right? ... next week they're playing the Cowboys at Dallas. It's probably going to be 18 again.

Dan Snyder should sell the Redskins to save his legacy as a fan

Dan Snyder, sell the team. You're a guy that grew up rooting for the [Redskins]... Right now, your legacy is going to be the person who destroyed the thing you love the most in life. If you sell the team, then you have a chance to be known as the person who saved the thing that you grew up loving the most.

Lamar Jackson is the real deal and will be in the MVP conversation by Week 5

Lamar Jackson, get ready because week five we're going to get and it will be deserved if he keeps playing the way he is—we'll get the Lamar Jackson for MVP talk because he had almost 400 yards rushing and passing today. ... Lamar Jackson's the real deal.