Takes

I would die for Mike Vrabel and Drake Maye

[Hank] was crying. Said he was gonna die for Drake Maye. I would die for Vrabel. That's pretty good, Hank. I fucking love him.

Travis Hunter will be a receiver in the NFL, not a two-way player

I just don't know what they're gonna do with [Travis Hunter]. I really think he's a receiver. I think he can impact the game and help their quarterback at receiver. I think you're whistling Zippity do do out your butt if you think he's gonna play both ways in the NFL... We really have to be crazy to think a rookie's gonna come in here and do that right away.

Alabama is officially a basketball school now

It was an interesting year. It's, we, we got a lot of spoiled Alabama fans... I hate what's going on in, in NCAA sports right now with the, the NIL and the transferring... But, you know, we're a basketball school now.

The NBA should stop the Eastern Conference playoffs because the Celtics are just going to eat everyone

Can we just stop with the Eastern conference playoffs? Can we just not do 'em? Because what's happening is every team is just kind of getting fattened up to get eaten by the Celtics and a delicious snack. Like that's what's gonna happen.

Jalen Brunson's foul baiting has made him hard to watch as a basketball fan

The foul baiting has gotten to a point where it's just hard to watch. And it's not just the foul baiting... the Knicks in this fourth quarter, they just go to straight iso ball foul baiting. No one else touches the ball. Jalen Brunson just trying to score. And it's bad basketball to watch.

It is more likely that only one quarterback is drafted in the first round than three

There's a growing sense that it's more likely that one quarterback gets drafted in the first round than three. Cam Ward one, Jackson Dart two, Shedeur Sanders three, Tyler Shough four, Jalen Milroe five.

This might finally be the Capitals' year to win it all

I'm pumped to watch the [Capitals] playoffs. I do think that this might be our year. Yeah. And the issue is we don't really have a goaltender. We've got two goaltenders and neither one, you have to pick which one is gonna get hot at the right time.

Giannis Antetokounmpo will ask for a trade out of Milwaukee

I feel like the bucks are just kind of a bummer now. 'cause I, I, I like Giannis... and maybe honest in in Milwaukee... Probably. He might, he might ask out. I don't know.

Travis Hunter will be more impactful as a Wide Receiver than a Cornerback in the NFL

I think everybody I've talked to has a plan to major in minor... I think he's ready, he's more impactful as a receiver right now. And so I, to me, I think that's where you start him... I think he is right now ready to go. There's a ton of ways we can get the ball in his hands and I just think he impacts the game more on offense.

Nico Harrison is 'so lost' and delusional as the Mavericks GM

He's [Nico Harrison] so lost. It's insane. Yeah... Such a coward move to do. No, no video, no no recordings. What a fucking loser. And we stand with Mavs fans. The guy's a fucking loser. He needs to get outta town.

Cam Ward will be drafted by the Tennessee Titans

I think we can officially say that Cam Ward is going to be a Tennessee Titan. Did you guys see he was playing Fortnite tonight? He was on Twitch and he was asked his top four wide receivers in the NFL... He said Jamar Chase, Justin Jefferson, Calvin Ridley and Treylon Burks... He said AJ Brown is a dog, but he's no Calvin Ridley.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

Steph Curry enters the Kobe realm of the GOAT conversation if he wins a 5th title this year

If the Warriors go on a run, which they could... Steph Curry goes, lights out. Is Steph Curry, does he enter the Kobe realm of the goat conversation?... If the Warriors win the NBA title this year, Steph Curry wins finals MVP, I feel like you're gonna have the Jordan, LeBron, Kobe Curry conversation.

Kevin O'Connell is a regular season merchant who can't win in the playoffs

Kevin O'Connell. Can't, can't win in the playoffs. Oh. He's a regular season merchant... Bringing the best out of him. Getting high seeds, losing the playoffs. Just something to keep your eye on. Keep an eye on.

Scottie Scheffler is just a Masters merchant

He's also gonna be the new narrative guy. He might just be a masters merchant. He's got, he's got a win in major that's not the masters.

The Bulls are trending and could beat the Cavaliers in the playoffs

Bulls are about to go on a run. Keep saying, I think they can beat the Cavs. It starts on Wednesday night... I'm not worried about the Cavs.

Kidney stone pain is worse than childbirth

Also, the doctor again for the second time told me that this pain is worse than childbirth. Which I will not be saying to any women, but it's true... I've given birth to like 13 kidney stones. I'm as tough as Philip Rivers' wife.

Mavericks GM Nico Harrison is a coward for not sitting in his real seats since trading Luka Doncic

I also was made aware that Nico Harrison has not sat in his real seats since the trade. You fucking coward. Go back and sit in your seats... You can't make that trade. And they'd be like, oh, I don't sit in my seats anymore.

Zach Hampel is the best of all time at ball-hawking and deserves respect for his greatness

Listen, I, I know Zach Hampel's a very controversial, actually, he's not controversial. Everyone just hates him. He's, he's the best to ever do it... When did we stop respecting greatness?... He's literally the best to ever do it. What he does, he is the best of all time at.

International hockey tournaments like the Olympics are not legitimate without Russia involved

The worst part about four nations and the Olympics next year. Do you guys know? No, it's no Russia. Oh. So nothing is really that legit because best on, best on best hockey? Like you need Russia involved. It's just, you know what I mean?

It is not gay to take a shower in a gym locker room after a workout

I finally look up, I'm like, is he yelling at me? And he's staring at me... 'bro, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is this gay shit, bro, you gonna shower?'... I really do. I love Joey Swoll. Love his content. He's the best. Joey, I need you to weigh in on this. Am I outta line? Should, should. Is it gay as shit to shower after you work out?

This is the best chance the Maple Leafs have ever had to win the Stanley Cup

So hockey this year, so many storylines. I think the number one for me is that this is the best chance the Leafs have ever had to win the cup. Yes... 1967, the first is that, well the most recent one I heard is the last time both the Detroit Red Wings and Boston Bruins didn't make the Stanley Cup was 1967.

Seth Davis's 'refereeing is art' take is the dumbest argument ever

Seth Davis though tweeted this about the refs... 'Reffing is more art than science.' I'm gonna disagree with that. I think that's, that makes me want robot s. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. If the refs don't call physical play or something that happens in the first half and then all of a sudden they decide that they're gonna call that a foul, that's very confusing for the players.

The Nuggets firing Michael Malone right before the playoffs makes no sense

I would keep the coach that you're winning right before the Playoffs... your NBA title coach, the only one you have in your history of your franchise Right before the Playoffs. Makes no sense.

Paige Bueckers will be a better pro than Caitlin Clark

I still think Paige Bueckers gonna be a better pro. I know, I know, she, I think Paige is gonna be better.

Tiger Woods is no longer a 'force of nature' in golf

Tiger Woods such a force of nature in golf for the last 20 years... this does feel like the first year where it's, I don't wanna say it's over 'cause I hope he plays again, but it does feel kind of over where it's like, you know, the Achilles injury and he already was already banged up and the leg problems. Is it do, can you feel that vibe where it's like that force of nature is no longer here?

Phil Mickelson has a legit chance to win the Masters this week

I think Phil's got a chance. Oh I think Phil has a legit chance this week. He's been playing some solid golf and kind of going back to like what plays well here is a great iron player and somebody that's excellent around the Greens. I think Phil, he finds himself in contention it feels like every two years. So I think Phil, in terms of extreme long shots, I'm a big fan of his number this week.

Duke's loss to Houston was the biggest choke in Final Four history

Duke's downfall for four hours, but like, sign me up. I'll take off my pants right now. 'cause that was, holy fuck. Was that an incredible Final Four delivered... Duke biggest choke in Final Four history. Best team ever analytically... They're the only team to, to have a higher field goal. Percentage more free throw attempts, more assists, fewer turnovers, more steals and lose in the history of the NCAA tournament.

Coach K is secretly happy that Duke lost because it protects his legacy

If we had true serum Coach K's happy. He doesn't want the next guy to win a title in his third year... John Scheyer, the, the, the school has not dropped off in terms of a level of basketball. But what Coach K has done to win titles gets magnified even more of. That's really hard to do because John Scheyer couldn't do it with one of the best analytically best teams of all time.

Ja Morant's addiction to fake guns is the best addiction of all time

Ja Morant can't quit holding fake guns. It's the, it's the best addiction of all time. I respect the hell outta that... the NBA coming down on him for his fake guns is bullshit. Just ignoring all the history of Ja Morant with real guns. I love that shit.

Cliff Kingsbury buying a one-way ticket to Thailand is the horniest move an adult male can make

I just keep thinking to myself like, this is the place that Cliff Kingsbury bought a one-way ticket to. I think that's the horniest move that an adult male can do. Is to buy a one-way ticket to Thailand.

Aaron Rodgers is waiting for the Vikings door to shut before committing to the Steelers

I think Aaron Rodgers is waiting to commit to the Steelers until he knows for sure that the door is shut in Minnesota. That's what I think is happening. He has not confirmed interest in the Steelers or denied.

John Cena is a dick for trying to invalidate my authenticity

One of the big disagreements John Cena and I have had is he feels I'm not authentic enough or as authentic as he was. And I think at this point I'm pretty confident in who I am. To some people he's still John Cena, the hero, and to other people, especially the younger audience, he's kind of a dick.

Deshaun Watson will start fewer than two more games in his NFL career.

So is Deshaun Watson over under starts Deshaun Watson has the NFL for the rest of his career. Three and a half. I was gonna say one and a half. Maybe like a random.

Maryland basketball is currently a stepping stone job.

And here's what sucks for Maryland is that Maryland should not be a stepping stone job. No. Maryland should be a job that a guy should want to stay at for a long time. But as of right now, guess what the reality is? It's a stepping stone job.

I believe I can win the Masters.

I think so. I mean, last week was a very big turning moment for me... Right now, I mean, sky's the limit. I feel good and I like the course. I've got the record for the front nine. I just need the record for the back nine, and hopefully we can put it all together. I feel very good.

NIL has ruined college basketball

I just NIL ruined college basketball. I don't wanna be a hater, but it it... I just want madness. I don't care if, if the games are good, I wouldn't care. But yeah, the, I want good games.

If the Celtics are healthy, they are not losing

If we're healthy, we're not losing. That's, it's really, it's just health. I, it's like the calves are a good team, good season. Sure. But... if we're healthy, we're not losing.

LeBron James is planning to start a separate basketball league that would rival the NBA

I have not given up on my conspiracy theory that LeBron is starting this separate league. Him basically admitting that he believes the NBA was rigged is further evidence of it.

Bubba Chandler will win NL Rookie of the Year and eventually be better than Paul Skenes

Bubba Chandler with the Pirates... Fastball up to a hundred now. Great breaking stuff, good control and commit. I picked him to win Rookie of the year this year. [He texted Paul Skenes] enjoy it while it lasts because next year I'm going to be starting opening day.

Hammocks are more afraid of you than you are of them

Hammocks are more afraid of you than you are of them. My take is that that's a fact. Some of us aren't pussies and it's extreme sports. It's like extreme sleeping. Big Mattress is trying to steer you away from hammocks. Anytime somebody dies in a hammock, it becomes a big news story like a shark attack.

The Washington Nationals will sneakily compete for a wild card spot

I think the Washington Nationals are going to sneaky compete for a wild card spot. That's my wild prediction. They won't be out of it in September.

Houston will dominate Purdue in the Sweet 16

I love Houston. I think Houston's going to dominate Purdue. I said something nice about Purdue someday this might say something mean about Purdue. You're gonna get your fucking ass kicked.

Doc Rivers has won three games in a playoff series many times and doesn't get enough credit for it

When he [Doc Rivers] loses the three-one leads, he's won three games. That should be worth something. Like if you get up 28 to three against the Patriots of the Super Bowl, that should be worth something.

Maryland needs Florida's Clayton to sprain an ankle to win the Sweet 16 matchup

I think we need Clayton to sprain his ankle. Not badly, not bad. I'm not rooting for it and I'm not rooting for an injury like that guy's got such big balls... Maryland needs to play its best, the best be the best version of itself and I think they can win the game.

The Big East is for basketball while the SEC is for football

Big East is college basketball. SEC's football... when you're watching SEC basketball fans, you know, you're only thinking in the back of your head... they don't care about this. Like they care about football.

Hammocks are the most overrated thing in the world

I have a hammock take they suck. Most overrated thing in the world... It's thinking about getting out of a hammock. Getting out of a hammock sucks... They're uncomfortable. You're not taking naps in the hammock.

Bill Self is on the hot seat after losing in the first round as a preseason number one

Is Bill Self on the hot seat? I don't know if he's on the hot seat... Kansas also, they became the second AP preseason number one to lose in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Obviously Bill self not on the hot seat, but it's fun to have the conversation.

BYU is a legitimate threat to win the National Championship

BYU's a team that everyone's picking against, but they they were on the list. [PFT: BYU can win the national title?] Yes.

Ryan Odom will not be the head coach at VCU next year

This will be his last time at VCU no matter what... I'm reporting this. He will either be going to Villanova or Virginia after this year. He will, this is his last ride with VCU.