Takes

Troy will upset Nebraska and win their first-round game

I am taking Troy to break the hearts... everybody at Pinnacle Bank Arena and move on to the round of 32. Nebraska has to win an NCAA tournament game for the first time ever to break the program record for wins. But this is a really, really difficult game.

Akron will upset Texas A&M in a 12-5 matchup

I've got Akron and John Gross picking off Texas A&M in a 12-5 [matchup].

Purdue will defeat UConn in the national championship to 'complete the circle'

I'm taking Purdue. So for the second time in three years, it's Purdue and Yukon for a national championship. Dan Hurley against Matt Painter. And this time we complete the circle for the boilers. The team that started the year number one in the country wins a national championship.

The Ravens failed Max Crosby's physical intentionally to pivot to Trey Hendrickson

It's almost like they had it ready to go. They pivot to Trey Hendrickson. It feels like they had, by the letter of the law, they had the ability to fail [Crosby] for the physical because he's not ready to play. Technically the Ravens didn't break any rules, they just used it to get someone better that just came available.

I am rooting for the Dominican Republic over Team USA in the WBC because they are more electric

The Dominican team is electric and I like to be entertained when I'm watching sports. This tournament's for entertainment. I want to watch more games with the Dominican Republic team. I want more. I'm rooting for the USA correctly, but I respect the hell out of the Dominican team.

The Washington Wizards are the ones who deserve credit for Bam Adebayo's 83 points

My take is that 83 should mostly be given credit to the Washington Wizards. It should be like the Wizards allowed one man to score 83 points against them on this day. The Wizards showing up to cities and playing basketball games should not be tolerated by those cities.

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

Adults who wear swim shirts at the pool look like children

If you wear a swim shirt as an adult, you just you look like a child. They shouldn't sell adult swim shirts. I agree. No shirts belong everywhere but in the water.

The Ravens are using a physical loophole to back out of the Maxx Crosby trade

I'm calling bullshit on all this. It does feel like something's fishy here. And maybe it's just the Ravens using the loophole of, hey, we can see, we can trade for Maxx Crosby, see how the rest of free agency plays out, knowing that this stupid legal tampering and then official free agency, there's a two day gap and then just figure it out later.

Tua Tagovailoa will never be more than a check-down quarterback with no deep ball

I don't think that Tua can throw the ball downfield at all. But he can do swing passes to Bijan [Robinson] and that's pretty much what they're gonna ask him to do there. I think what we saw from Tua is what we're gonna get.

I am against prenups because marriage should be forever

I'm against prenups. Because if you're getting married, you're never—you're getting married to be together forever. If you really love someone, the money shouldn't matter.

The Rams are now the best team in the NFC after addressing their secondary

The Rams are the best team in the NFC now. They only got two guys, but they literally needed—the weakness of their team last year was they had bad cornerbacks. And then they go and get [Trent] McDuffie and then signed [Jaylen] Watson. I'm right there with you. They're my favorites in the NFC as well right now.

Jeremiyah Love is a top 10 talent and the best overall prospect in a weak draft

I have Jeremiyah Love ranked high. Number three overall on the big board. I have him over [Jahmyr] Gibbs. He has that every-down skillset and he can take the ball to the house. In this draft class, I'm very comfortable taking him in the top 10.

Laser tag is a children's game and it's terrible for adults

Why were you playing laser tag as an adult? Laser tag sucks. It's a children's game. I guarantee you I've played more laser tag in the last five years than any of you guys... every laser tag, the guns don't work. You hit someone and it doesn't register.

A joint bachelor/bachelorette party is a 'pre-crime' indicating a lack of trust

If you do a joint bachelor bachelorette party, you just, that's pre-crime. That's the most insane thing possible. It's, it's, it's not, it's bad, bad behavior. It's, it's, that means you just don't trust each other.

The Arnold Palmer umbrella logo exists because Palmer saw a woman getting out of a car with an umbrella and got horny

Arnold Palmer stood up and then he looked outside. He saw a really hot chick getting out of the car and she had an umbrella and he's like, 'fellas, I've got it: umbrellas. We gotta do umbrellas.' So he just got horny. He got horny for a chick he happened to see and he's like, 'we're doing umbrellas.'

Dennis Rodman is a role player because anyone who isn't a 30-point-per-game scorer is a role player

I would say [Dennis Rodman] is. But like, it's like, I think anybody who's not a 30 point a game scorer, you know, like the 20 to 30 like takes most of the shots is pretty much a role player.

Winning a Thunder NBA championship and appearing on the Pardon My Take book cover are more significant than winning the NBA Cup or the 2020 Bubble title

I think it goes: Thunder championship, book cover, NBA Cup second place, NBA Cup third place, and then the bubble championship. [74 in Tahoe] is up above the cup games. People gotta talk about it more.

The half marathon is a joke of a race that isn't a 'real' accomplishment

Half marathon's gotta be the lamest thing to break. Call it a 10,000, what is it? 10,000 meters. Half marathon is bullshit. Make it a full marathon or make it a 10K. It's just a joke. It is a joke of a race. In principle it is a joke.

Alec Pierce is about to get a massive contract in free agency

I think Alec Pierce is about to get paid too. I think the market on Alec Pierce is gonna be crazy. Possible Patriot. Possible Commander.

Kyler Murray will be a Hall of Famer if he joins Sean McVay as a backup for one year

Kyler Murray, if he goes to the Rams and chooses to be a backup with Sean McVay and stick around there, Kyler Murray's gonna go into the Hall of Fame. That's just how this is gonna work out. Sean McVay's gonna be like, I got my guy for the next 10 years. We'll win one more Super Bowl with Matt Stafford, then it's Kyler. He'll be back to being Elite again.

I will commit to soccer if the USA wins the World Cup

If we win the World Cup, I will, I will commit to soccer... If we win the World Cup, I'll get a cat with [Hank]. We'll both get cats. If we win the World Cup.

Team USA would have lost the gold medal game if they listened to Aaron Judge's speech

That was one of the worst speeches of all time. If they're, why don't put that out. If you're world ba baseball classic, don't put that out. I think they're trying to get a little bit of the buzz from the Olympics team. USA would've lost the gold medal game if, if if someone stood up and gave Aaron Judge's speech.

Rams fans should be worried because Puka Nacua is focused on everything but football right now

My Hot Seat this week is gonna be Rams fans. ... Puka might be focused on everything but football right now. He's on an elite bachelor run. ... I just feel when you're on this kind of heater, I think it, it's gonna transcend and he, this is gonna bleed into the regular season football.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

White Boy Summer will be canceled if Chet Hanks remains stuck in Colombia

Chet Hanks is stuck in Colombia right now... now he can't get back to the United States because they won't let him back in. There's no greater American than Chet Hanks. And we're in danger of having white boy summer canceled this year if Chet's still stuck in Colombia.

Miami should release Tua and eat the record $99 million cap hit all at once

I think they probably just have to wind up releasing [Tua]. And the question is, how do you wanna take your medicine? You wanna take it all at once. One year. 99.1 million. The largest cap hit in NFL history. You wanna spread it out, make him post June one... I would just take all my medicine all at once. If it were me.

Malik Willis is the 'crown jewel' and top free agent quarterback available this year

Only one of them is going to get Malik Willis. And Malik Willis is the top free agent quarterback this year. The crown jewel. I just think it's a tough year to be in the quarterback market and it's hard to predict how that's gonna shake out when there aren't a whole lot of options out there.

Brandon Aubrey is worth a contract in the $12-14 million range as a major offensive weapon

I could argue that that guy's worth 12 million. 14 million. Like you're paying running backs 12, 13, 14 million on the open market. You get past midfield, you got three points in the bank. That's it. To me, he's a major weapon.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?

AJ Brown and the Philadelphia Eagles relationship is likely finished

I think AJ Brown's been pretty open about wanting to move on. I think there's hope from some Philly fans that they can make this work, but sometimes it's just better to just split and go in separate ways. I expect a lot of that to heat up over the next few days. We'll probably have an answer very soon. This relationship is probably done.

Maxx Crosby being traded by the Raiders would not be a surprise

I think the frustration he had was how they managed him and his injury this year. When they shut him down, that went against what he's about. I will not be surprised if that [Maxx Crosby trade] winds up happening. The Ravens... doesn't that just fit?

The Minnesota Vikings are a likely landing spot for Kyler Murray if Arizona moves on

I'm curious to see if Minnesota checks that [Kyler Murray] out. That could be interesting, right? You look so short in purple.

Joe Burrow is unhappy in Cincinnati because the team is not doing enough to win

Joe's not happy and we know that. He's frustrated that they stink and that they're not doing enough to improve the roster. The defense has been trashed for a few years here. I don't believe the Bengals are gonna trade Joe Burrow, but I want to pay attention to if Joe starts voicing 'I don't wanna be here anymore'.

Big game hunting and winter survival should be added as Winter Olympic sports

I do agree with big game hunting [as an Olympic sport], that would rock dudes. It's like you go out in the wilderness and then you just have to weigh like, how much bear did you come back with? The Olympic sport of just watching dudes in the middle of the woods who can start a fire faster. I'd watch that.

Hockey is only America's fourth most important sport and we still beat Canada

I choose to win with class. Does it hurt for Canada that I graciously said hockey is our fourth like the fourth sport we're best at? We're football, baseball, basketball... and then hockey. I love hockey, but it's our fourth most important sport. And Canada, Canada's everything. And we fucking beat you. And we have the gold.

Norway shouldn't count in the Winter Olympic medal standings because they invented all the sports

Norway's like the friend that's like, 'Hey, do you want to come to my house and play all my video games and I'll beat you at all of them?' That's what Norway does. If you take out Norway, which you should, we [the US] dominated these Olympics.

Peptides are the play for weight loss and health in 2026

Through some limited extensive research, I think part of my peptides might be the play. All the hot people online are just like, 'these are what you need to do. Take these peptides, you'll lose a bunch of weight.'

Connor McDavid's specialty is winning individual MVPs while losing championships

Connor McDavid winning MVP of the entire Olympics in another losing effort. That's just what he does now. It is funny that this is now twice McDavid has won MVP in a losing effort. That's his thing. That is officially his thing. Anytime I play in a big game, I'm gonna be the best player. Not that I'm gonna win it, but the best player out there.

I am facing a potential '10-day termination' from my apartment after a meeting with my landlord

Had a really constructive meeting with my building... but he introduced a new term. I was not familiar with a 10 day termination... next time it's like, it's a 10 day legal 10 day. Wow. I didn't know 10 day was a thing.

Andrew Hill will win Olympic gold in short track speed skating because everyone else will crash

We got one American left in the competition. Eagles fan, Bucks County. Andrew Hill. ... We're gonna be rooting for Andrew Hill. He's 18 to one. ... Survive the crashes. But yeah, this sport is awesome because they just wipe out so hard.

The Big 10 will snap its 26-year national championship drought this year

This is the year for the Big 10. I know the Big 12 stacked. But if the Big Ten's gonna snap this drought of 26 long years without national championship, if Michigan plays their A game guys, they're gonna be no worse than in Indianapolis. ... The Big 10 [is where the champion comes from].

Sam Darnold is a top five quarterback in the NFL

Sam Darnold. Good guy. Elite quarterback elite. Elite, elite. Top five. [Big Cat: Gimme your top five.] Drake Maye. Sam Darnold. Josh Allen, Caleb Williams, Jayden Daniels.

NBA owners should be forced to sell their team if they win fewer than 20 games for three straight years

What they need to do for all sports is if you don't reach a certain level of win percentage in consecutive years, you have to sell the team. Which that would be awesome too. If you win less than 20 games in the NBA for three years straight, you should have to sell the team.

The skeleton is a joke of a sport that anyone could do with three years of training

The skeleton is a joke. [Max: I think that's actually like proven fact that the average amount of person to take, they have three years experience.] When I watch the Best Loser win by a fraction of a second, I'm like, well that guy just decided to do luge. 99.9% of the world just doesn't do luge.

Indiana football looked like Alabama in their National Championship win over the Crimson Tide

Indiana looked like Alabama. If they didn't have IU on the side of the head, you, if you were watching that, those teams, you were like, oh, that's Alabama and that's Indiana.

A sniper's most likely hiding spots are a clock tower or a warehouse

That feels like the, the two most likely places for people in Texas to hide if they're a sniper.

I am done with all international NFL games because the Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad

The halftime performance was bad. I don't obviously really care about the halftime performance... I hope they never do international games [again]. That was the thing that turned [me].

The Bears, Saints, or Chiefs will win the Super Bowl next year

The Chiefs, the Bears and the Saints because since 2020 the only Super Bowl winners have been the Chiefs or NFC teams getting their second Super Bowl in franchise history. So that leaves us the Chiefs, the Bears or the Saints for next year. So I like that. I like my chances there.