Takes

Social media 'hacking' claims are 100% fake; people just mess up and use it as an excuse

Whenever someone says they're hacked, they're not hacked. They just fucked up. I don't still don't really understand how [Shannon Sharpe did that], 'cause it is a couple steps to go live [on Instagram].

The Buccaneers might be the best team in the NFL right now

I think the Bucks might be the best team in the NFL... I'm just saying that because they beat [the Commanders] week one. No, they looked incredible.

Amon-Ra St. Brown is the ultimate 'bounce back' bet following a bad game

Amon-Ra St. Brown is one of those guys that I put in the category, if he has a bad game, just bet everything the next game that he's going to be awesome. Because we've met him, we've had him on the show. He doesn't feel like the type of guy that takes a bad performance... A performance where he doesn't catch the ball a lot or get a touchdown, I feel like he takes that very personally.

NFL safeties should be worth a red zone start for the opponent rather than just two points

I think the perfect thing to do for a safety instead of two points, which we agree is not enough points for a safety. Give the ball to the offense on the one yard line. Or to the other team... so if you get tackled in your own end zone, it's a turnover. The other team gets the ball on the one.

Winning games matters more than Caleb Williams' individual progression right now

I would take the win [over progression from Caleb Williams]... Because the progression will come. Winning games is the best. I don't care how it happens. Get me to 2-0. What you and I [Max]... best case scenario, both things happen. But if he doesn't have a great game, having a win is a nice consolation prize.

Golfing for fun while sober is a terrible experience

Do you still golf for fun? [PFT] Soberly? No. [Talor Gooch] Smart answer. Yeah. Correct answer. The only answer.

The perfect length for a round of golf is 12 holes

I've always said 18 holes is too many... I think it's 12. Because like the 'black out', right? 13 through 17... 12 is 'cause 12 also is like, you could go golf and be done in two and a half hours. And that's like, for me personally, I would love to golf more, but I can't be like, hey to my wife, like, hey, I'm, I'm gone for next six hours.

The only way to effectively lose weight is to completely cut out carbohydrates

I say this as someone who fluctuates weight more than Oprah. Any, the only time it's ever worked for me, which I've been doing recently, is just during the week. It's no carbs... If you don't eat carbs, the weight will come off.

The 49ers are still awesome and Aaron Rodgers has limited mobility but his arm is still there

The two biggest takeaways I had was the 49ers are still fucking awesome and Aaron Rodgers—well, limited running, he doesn't have the same mobility. His arm is still there. He can still rip it.

I am officially ranking Georgia as the number one team in the country

Georgia's my number one team. Texas two, Ohio State's three. Tennessee, Penn State, USC, Miami, Alabama, Ole Miss, Missouri, Iowa State... and Northern Illinois.

Texas is actually the best team in the country, not Georgia

I got Texas [at number one]... The way that they looked against Michigan, the final score, I don't think, does that game justice. It could have been a lot worse. Texas is very good.

The Celtics are attacking the next title rather than defending the old one

Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, was doing an interview and they asked him about how he feels about defending the title and he basically just took down the term forever. He said the phrase 'defending a title' is a very passive-aggressive term. If you look at the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend—they're the most aggressive and they attack the most. So we're attacking the title.

Nikocado Avocado's two-year weight loss reveal was a genius strategy

He's been posting videos for the last two years where he's large... then this week he posted a reveal stating that he prerecorded two years worth of mukbangs and has been putting them out periodically and just losing all the weight... this is actually incredible.

The Cowboys have a good enough team, they just don't perform when it matters most

I think the team's good enough. They just, they just don't like, seem to perform when it matters the most. And sometimes that's, you know, bad luck. It could be a mental thing. I mean like the team last year was so good. And then just the first game, like, I don't know how fluky of a sport football is, but if it's anything like golf, like stuff can just happen really fast.

Winning the Olympic gold medal was a more special experience than winning the Masters

I think the Olympics is probably a pretty tough one to beat... green jacket is something that I always grew up dreaming about... but when you get the green jacket, there's a lot of rules. Whereas the gold medal, there's no real rules. The amount of people that have seen the gold medal, taken a picture with the gold medal, that part's been really fun.

Caleb Williams' debut performance was really bad but doesn't matter since the Bears won

The Bears are one and oh, they did not score an offensive touchdown. Caleb Williams looks really bad, but the Bears are one and oh and I don't give a fuck. Well, I do actually care a little bit because I really wish he had played better because he was not good.

The Arizona Cardinals are officially a fun watch team this year

The Cardinals are gonna be my official, this is just a fun watch team because Kyler looked awesome. Their defense is not great. They didn't even get Marvin Harrison going. James Conner is still the angriest, most upright runner that God ever created and yeah, I think they're just officially a fun team to watch.

NFL teams should be penalized if they kick a kickoff out of the back of the end zone

In order to make teams stop just trying for touch backs every time... They gotta make it worse. They gotta say you get the ball at the 35 if it goes [out the back].

Jay-Z picked Kendrick Lamar for the Super Bowl halftime show just to spite Drake

Jay-Z doesn't like Drake. So he basically did the opposite. He took Kendrick. Also, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. They're just gonna make it to the Drake can never watch a Super Bowl again.

Kyle Pitts might just be a 'great in theory' player who will never live up to the hype

I don't know what to expect from Kyle Pitts... I think Kyle Pitts might just be in theory. In theory he's great, but... will we, if he doesn't have a good year, will we still be making excuses for him next year? Yes.

Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick have beef

I think there might be beef there between Belichick and Kraft. Do you think so? I I mean I'm What would, listen, I wasn't able to make a, a definitive statement on it until I figured out who he followed. Yeah. [Belichick] follows 12 people... No Patriots, no craft.

Dennis Allen is losing his mind by treating the location of his offensive coordinator as a top-secret competitive advantage

You know your football coach is kind of losing it when he thinks that he's getting an advantage by being like [Clint Kubiak] could be in on the field or in the booth. ... He is now thinking that he's gonna get a competitive advantage by not divulging where offensive coordinator Clint Kubiak is going to be during the game.

Jayden Daniels is already so good that it is terrifying to be a Commanders fan

I love Jayden Daniels and I'm nervous now because he's so good. I'm nervous that either I'm wrong about him being good or that something's gonna happen to him. ... I just want to have [him]. It's like Jay Leno's cars... I just want to be like, that's my quarterback. Keep him in the garage.

Jared Goff is a legitimate MVP candidate because he plays the vast majority of his games in a dome

Jared Goff... he's an MVP candidate because 14 outta 17 games are in a dome. ... It does qualify as a dome. Yep. Okay. Good pick.

I am genuinely trying to convince the Pirates that I should be allowed to play catcher

I'm serious. Like I caught... so I'm really trying to convince them that I can catch. But yeah, probably for good reason, they don't, they don't really believe me.

The MLB challenge system is better than using full robot umpires

I really, I do like the human part of the game... I think if we're gonna go any anywhere with it, the challenge system, but I think it's, I think full on robot strike zones is, it kind of just removes the purpose of a catcher a little bit.

Men posing with their arms around each other is the weirdest thing

We as guys, we as guys gotta stop doing the arms around each other. This picture. It's the fucking weirdest thing we do... There's nothing worse than doing the awkward like post golf round. Yeah. 10 dudes just standing with their arms around each other.

The worst case scenario for the Patriots this year is winning eight games

I think the worst case scenario for the Patriots this year is eight wins. It would be... that would be like, I'm going into the season, we're trying to, we gotta rebuild. If you're gonna rebuild, it starts with the draft. Eight wins wouldn't get us to the playoffs and won't get us a good draft position.

The worst case scenario for the Bears is a week 18 playoff loss to the Packers followed by a Green Bay Super Bowl win

The worst thing could happen for me... week 18 chance to make the playoffs against the Packers and he [Caleb Williams] does his nails and then like epically lose and Jordan Love goes and wins the Super Bowl. Yeah, that would be pretty bad. Like the Packers, maybe it's week 18, the Lions have already clinched the NFC North. So it's week 18 for the last wild card spot. And then the Packers get it and go on a run and win the Super Bowl with our wild card spot.

Kristin Cavallari is lying about having the best sex of her life

Kristin Cavallari said that her boyfriend, Mark Estes, Montana boy, who's 13 years younger than her, she's having the best sex she's ever had. It is, but it's also if you have to publicly say you're having the best sex you ever had, you're lying. The minute you say you have the best sex ever, everyone's like, dude, that's a lie.

Jaden Daniels is the best quarterback from the 2024 draft class

I love Jaden Daniels. I think he's the best quarterback in the draft. Sorry, Big Cat... having watched him at Arizona State and then watched him play at LSU and now watching him now, he's the most improved quarterback I've ever seen in my life. I think the commanders have their guy for the next 15 years and he's gonna be a star.

Polar bears are not mindless killing machines

The goal is to show people that they [polar bears] aren't mindless killing machines... they are really cool animals. The goal is to be not interactive 'cause we don't wanna disturb them, but close enough in proximity to show, like, look at this, these giant white bears, they know we're here. They're choosing not to kill us or eat us.

Brian Kelly is not built for the SEC and does not belong in the conference

I'm gonna stand on that take. That's my official take on Brian Kelly. You could put this on a quote card. He ain't supposed to be SEC. No, he's [Jerry DiNardo]... hired him and it was like, dude, what are you doing here? You don't know our culture.

I am not spending 12 hours of my Saturday watching mediocre college football

I'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of a day on Saturday, the only day we're not in the office, to to watch a random ass week one game when there's only like three good ones... Your happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching State Pittsburgh. Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy.

Wisconsin quarterback Tyler Van Dyke is not good and shouldn't be starting

Wisconsin's QB is way too old to be playing... he's just not good. He's just old enough where he's like, he's clearly not good enough. He's just like holding on and costing Wisconsin.

Michigan definitely cheated in the Connor Stallions scandal, but everyone else in college football probably cheated too

I love Connor Stallions... he's essentially just every fan ever who's like, I'll do anything for my team to win... But yeah, I mean they definitely cheated. I think everyone cheated, but they definitely did too.

Jalen Hurts and Dak Prescott are not currently top 10 quarterbacks in the NFL

I'd probably say Jordan Love [at 8], Nine Tua, 10 Rogers... I would put like the Trevor Lawrences, Hertzes, Daks, Her Cousins, Herberts, those guys are writing that like kind of next group.

The Steelers should start Justin Fields because Russell Wilson doesn't give them a chance to contend

Are you with Russ playing fine at 35 or 36 really going to contend against Cincinnati and Baltimore in the division? Really? No. Like, so my thing was if it really was a little bit of a competition... why not just say, you know what, the only real chance we have is if we strike Lightning at a bottle with Justin.

The Kansas City Chiefs are better this year than they were last year

They're better this year than they were last year and that's with all due respect to L'Jarius Sneed. L'Jarius is great. But... their offense is gonna be significantly better specifically just like speed and catching the football.

The Patriots should sit Drake Maye and follow the Jordan Love developmental model

I wouldn't play [Drake Maye] this year. I think New England's offensive line... they don't have a plus offensive line or plus skill player. So I wanna play him, but not in meaningful games. Maybe at the end of November or December.

Jacoby Brissett is a 'tread water' quarterback, not an eight-win guy

I wouldn't say he's an eight win quarterback. I think he's a get you a couple wins in, like your starter goes down. Jacoby Brissett comes in, he can tread water. He's a tread water guy. He's a three and four guy.

I won't get FOMO about Drake Maye sitting because the Patriots are in a rebuilding year

I'm not gonna get FOMO about Drake Maye not starting. Our offensive line's bad. I think our roster's not great. It's okay. It's a rebuilding year. I think you let's embrace it for what it is.

The NFL should have a separate salary bucket for quarterbacks to keep rosters competitive

Separate salary bucket for quarterbacks. That makes sense. Basically let the quarterbacks get paid something completely separate so it doesn't, again, the cap is, doesn't make sense, but they're so out of control compared to everything else.

College football is better off with a 12-team playoff and it doesn't diminish the regular season

I think this day is a long time coming for college football. Anybody that says college football is worse off for the playoff is lying or just grifting... it doesn't diminish the regular season at all. It makes us have way more games that matter in November.

Florida State is just an average football team, not a playoff contender

That team that we saw play on Saturday [Florida State] is not a playoff team in a 14-format, a 12-team format, a 30-team format. That's an average football team we saw.

Utah will lose its toughness advantage moving from the Pac-12 to the Big 12

Utah's main advantage in the Pac-12 was physicality... they could bully those teams. Now most of the Big 12, you probably can do that too, but you ain't doing that to Kansas State... Oklahoma State. That toughness advantage is gone now.

Michigan is good enough defensively and on the lines to potentially win the Big Ten again

I don't see any reason why Michigan can't be as good as [Ohio State] because defensively Michigan's still just as good as Ohio State is... Michigan to me, is one of those teams that in September they might look kind of, yeah, eh, but by the time you get to November... they might be a really good team who's gonna be like the momentum dark horse in the playoff.

Half the fanbases in the SEC are delusional about their playoff chances this year

There's eight fan bases in the SEC that think they're going to [the] playoff this year... of those two [Ole Miss and Missouri]... [Missouri is] an eight and four team... Texas A&M, that's delusional.

The Florida Gators have a better roster than head coach Billy Napier is capable of coaching

I think Napier is a bad coach. But I think he's built a pretty good roster. I think the roster is better than the coach. I think they can win... seven games.

Allowing private equity investment in NFL teams will make the league 10% worse.

The NFL is considering approving private equity investment in teams... It means it's gonna suck. The league is gonna get 10% worse because private equity, they're gonna come in and they're just gonna try to figure out how to streamline everything. They're gonna fire all the mascots.