Takes

Mike Vrabel is the winner of the coaching carousel — he's going to get whatever he wants

Mike Vrabel, by the way, he's the winner of this whole thing because he's gonna get whatever he wants. Whatever he wants.

The 2022 NFL coaching carousel might go down as one of the worst of all time — half the hires have already been fired

It might go down as one of the worst head coaching carousels of all time, 2022. Ten head coaching vacancies and half of them have already been fired. Brian Daboll's probably gonna get fired. Doug Pederson already fired. Josh McDaniels already fired. Matt Eberflus gonna get fired. Dennis Allen already got fired. Lovie Smith already got fired. Nathaniel Hackett already got fired.

The Bears will never hire someone who's an alpha or a football guy as head coach

The Bears will never hire someone who's an alpha or a football guy. They won't 'cause they just want to have Kevin Warren, an empty suit, be the guy who's in charge somehow. They're never gonna hire a guy who's like, this is my way or the highway. I'm running this. I'm bigger than the organization. It just won't happen.

The Commanders are going to beat the Eagles this Thursday

I actually do. I think that the Commanders are gonna win this game. I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are a very, very, very good football team. And if you look at how the Commanders bounced back to their other great loss that they had, which was against the Ravens, I feel like we're in a good position. I trust Dan Quinn.

The Commanders being called frauds is actually an honor — they haven't been good enough in decades for anyone to think that highly of them

It's an honor to be called a fraud. As long as I've lived, I have yearned for somebody to think highly enough of my football team to the point where they can hate my football team. Nobody thinks that a four and 13 team is a fraud. Bernie Madoff lived a long time as a fraud and he had fucking islands that he vacationed on.

The Eagles game is the Commanders' entire season — if they lose, the fraud label sticks

I think this game is your entire season, PFT. I think if they lose this game, it's their third playoff-caliber game that they've lost. And the season's over. You guys will officially be frauded because the teams you've beat are trash.

Jayden Daniels is going to be one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL

I'm still buying all the Jayden Daniels stuff. I think that he absolutely — I think that he is going to be one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

The Eagles really haven't beaten anyone either — their only good wins are the Packers and maybe the Bengals

Eagles really haven't beat anyone either. Depending on who you think about, they obviously the Packers win at the beginning of the year, big win. And depending on what you think of the Bengals, those are the only two good wins.

Kurt Cignetti is Coach of the Year for sure after Indiana goes 10-0

Kurt Cignetti is Coach of the Year for sure. Indiana. I think it's the first time, I think it's the first 10 win season for Indiana ever in football.

Big Noon Kickoff has killed Gus Johnson — he has no life left in him

The Big Noon Kickoff has killed Gus Johnson. He has no life left to him. He just had no energy. It was a scooping score fumble recovery for a touchdown and he called it like he was reading the newspaper.

If Travis Hunter isn't playing on Championship Saturday while other Heisman candidates are, the Heisman race could be in trouble

Colorado has to win out. They have to win out and get to the Big 12 championship because I think if you have a championship Saturday and Dylan Gabriel and Ashton Jeanty and Cam Ward are all playing and Travis Hunter isn't, I think we might be fucked.

Carson Beck is not good

Carson Beck is not good.

Brian Kelly is such a loser — he complained to refs about Alabama blitzing with 15 seconds left

Brian Kelly, he's just such a loser. Did you see the clip of him complaining to the refs about Alabama blitzing eight with like 15 seconds left? LSU had their whole starters in, they were trying to score a touchdown and he's like, I can't believe you blitzed. He's just a loser, loser, loser.

BYU is going to lose at least one game, maybe two, down the stretch

BYU is going to lose a game. I'll say it right now. I'm gonna predict it. Not a crazy prediction. They might lose two games down the stretch. They have Kansas who's playing really good ball right now, at Arizona State who's also playing really good ball, and Houston who might be the turnaround team of the year.

Tennessee could beat Georgia because Georgia's offense isn't great and Tennessee's defense is good

I wouldn't be surprised if Tennessee was able to beat Georgia. Georgia's not a great team either. Georgia's offense is not that good. Tennessee's defense is pretty good.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson is going to be Billy vs Canseco — a huge disappointment where the older fighter gets hurt early

I feel like these fights are always disappointing. And this one I still feel like it will be. But that quote got me fired up and I am hoping I go on social media and see [Tyson] knock him the fuck out. It's gonna be Billy versus Canseco.

Wedding guests should give a minimum of $100 — paying for your meal and drinks is the baseline

A hundred bucks is the minimum you give at a wedding. You gotta pay for your meal and the drinks. That's kind of what you do. $10 is — I would fucking send that back to the person.

Klay Thompson is going to go nuts in his first game back at Golden State — taking every Klay over

I'm just gonna take every single Klay Thompson over. First time back in Golden State. He's gonna go nuts.

Anthony Edwards moves unlike any athlete he's ever seen — at his size, the way he covers ground is special

I've never seen an athlete like that be able to move the way he does. Cover ground, get downhill, cut, just maneuvering. He's not a little guy. He is a big dude. For him to move at his size the way he does, it's special. And he covers a lot of ground.

Fans don't understand how hard it is to win in the NBA — every single night is a battle

I don't think they understand how hard it is to win. It is not an easy place. Every night it is — I don't care who you're playing, let alone win a championship. To go out every night and win games and play at a high level, it's not easy.

I'm officially back to believing in Bryce Young

I like, maybe I'm back into believing in Bryce Young, but either way, it, it looks like he is getting better, which is something that you couldn't have said at the beginning of this season.

The Giants should not play Daniel Jones another down of football this year

Daniel Jones should not play another snap. He should not play another snap because he has, he has the, remember Russell Wilson last year... if he gets injured, his money becomes guaranteed and you can cut him this year and it's, you don't have to pay him any more money and it's like a $22 million cap hit. You should not play him another down of football this year.

Mike Tomlin is a really good head coach and people need to stop calling him 'mediocre'

I don't ever want to hear mediocre Mike again. Mike Tomlin is a really fucking good head coach. I would kill for Mike Tomlin as my head coach. He, what he does in intangibles is insane. He gets the most outta everyone all the time.

The Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl no matter how they play

Even if you want to be one of those devil's advocate and be like, oh well the Chiefs are different. They're not like, they're just barely winning these games. It doesn't fucking matter. They're gonna win the Super Bowl.

If the Chiefs go undefeated and win three in a row, they are a more impressive dynasty than the Patriots

If these Chiefs go undefeated... and they win the Super Bowl... that would pretty much seal the deal for which Dynasty is more impressive. It would, it would definitely beat one of the Patriots' dynasties.

The Bears should fire Matt Eberflus tomorrow

The Bears are so, so, so bad. And Matt Eberflus should be fired tomorrow. And it won't fix it. Listen, Matt Eberflus and Shane Waldron deserve blame. But I'm not saying it's all on them... But you can fire the coach. And the coach stinks.

The Buccaneers are going to win the NFC South

I weirdly think we should maybe take this opportunity to bet on the Bucks to maybe win the NFC South if we can find a good line. Because the Bucks have lost four in a row... but they look competitive against 49ers today... Mike Evans is coming back. Baker is an absolute dog.

The Eagles should give Nick Sirianni a contract extension

Is it time to give Nick Sirianni a contract extension? He is 41 and 19 is the Eagles' head coach... I think you gotta lock him up long term. I agree. Like that... lock him up.

The Jets' season is over

The Jet season is... It's over. Yeah, we're good. It's over. We didn't even show up. Went out. Very, very sad.

LeBron James wants Coach K to replace JJ Redick as the Lakers' head coach

I think this is LeBron wants Coach K as the coach Lakers and JJ out. Yeah, because it was a dream Coach K. And it was about Duke, JJ's team.

The Bengals are one of the best teams in the AFC but will probably miss the playoffs

I'm walking away from this Bengals game and I'm thinking the Bengals are one of the best teams in the AFC. And they're probably not gonna make the playoffs.

Justin Tucker is officially washed

Lamar finds a way there. Justin Tucker. Wash this. It feels like the Ravens might be destined to get into a close playoff game... and to get out kicked. I hope that's not the case, but there's something up with Justin Tucker.

The Giants will win the international game in Germany against the Panthers

I actually think the Giants are gonna win. Do you know the Giants are leading the league in Sacks? 35. Their defensive line is very good... I like the Giants in this game just because I'm gonna bet it because it's gonna be on.

I'm betting big on the Patriots to cover +6 against the Bears

I'm going to bet this will not be in the Hungry Dog. I'm going to place a large... I'm going to bet Big Patriots plus six. Because then I think the Patriots can keep it close. Cover that.

Ben Johnson will not take the Bears head coaching job

[Schefter] said that Ben Johnson is, if he's like, if there's eight interview openings, Ben Johnson will not talk to all eight. Whoever he talks to is someone that he's expecting to take the job essentially saying he's not gonna go to the Bears.

I'm betting on the Saints because Darren Rizzi's ears make him an interesting interim coach

Darren Rizzi's ears are fucked up. I don't know what the fuck is going on with his ears. No offense to his ears... It looks like he was wearing sunglasses made out of tungsten... I like that he's got bad ears. It makes it more interesting. Yeah, I like him. I'm gonna take the Saints.

Whichever team wins the Steelers-Commanders game will win their division

Whichever team wins this game, I think that team is gonna win their division. I think they could maybe be thinking soupy [Super Bowl].

Saquon Barkley will rush for 200 yards against the Cowboys

I've been saying everywhere that Saquon's gonna run for 200 yards. 'cause it, I mean, the Cowboys can't stop the run and it's just gonna be bully ball by the, by the Eagles.

Villanova head coach Kyle Neptune is a worse coach than Nick Sirianni

I will not say a bad word about Nick Sirianni for the rest of the year... You don't have to watch Kyle Neptune coach basketball. [He is worse than Sirianni] without question. They lose to everyone. He has more... seven [losses to teams above 100 on KenPom] to two for four times as many years.

Aaron Rodgers is currently top five in every major passing statistical category

Aaron Rodgers still top five in everything right now... touchdowns top five... yards top five... [I must have looked at it before they updated it].

The NFL is entirely a quarterback-driven league

I was asked in a press conference a couple years ago... what's the big difference between you guys and the other three teams in your division? My answer was quarterback... I asked the same question the other day to a group of people. What's the difference between Washington right now and Washington I had? Well, they got quarterback. It's a quarterback driven league, folks.

I am betting against LSU because they are using a fake Mike the Tiger on the sidelines

It appears that they are now bringing a tiger back onto their sidelines... it seems like it might be a fake mike, the tiger that they're putting on the sidelines, because people took pictures... and they compared the stripes and they think that it's a duplicate Mike. It's a fake Mike the tiger... in which case I am going to be betting against LSU.

Todd Bowles is a coward for not going for two against the Chiefs

Todd Bowles is the biggest fucking coward in the world... You somehow got yourself in position where you can win the game, score a touchdown, and then you have the opportunity to go for two on the road Monday football against an undefeated team. Or you can kick an extra point like a coward, go to overtime and think that you can win an overtime against literally Patrick Mahomes.

Caleb Williams will get ruined by the Bears and every other rookie quarterback in his class will be better

I'm officially down bad. And Caleb Williams is gonna get ruined. Drake May's gonna be better. Jayden Daniels already better. Bo Nicks is better. Michael Penix is gonna be better. They're all gonna be better. And I'm just gonna be, I'm just back in the whole cycle.

Indiana should be ranked ahead of Ohio State and Texas because they are undefeated

I think you should just like, as a personal belief, the undefeated team should be ranked ahead of the team with a loss no matter what the schedule is like at this point in the season... Indiana's undefeated. And you could say, well they haven't beaten anyone. True. But if you go common opponents... Indiana beat Nebraska by a million.

The NBA Slam Dunk Contest should be replaced by a Layup Contest

I think they should do a layup contest instead of slam dunk contest. [Ja Morant's 360 layup] was sick... I thought to myself like, with enough practice I could possibly do that. Also not true. But it still made me think.

Juan Soto will sign a contract worth $700 million

I think he's gonna get 700 million. Yeah... I think he's gonna get a stupid amount of money. But the fact that the way he's going about it just means that like, yeah, it doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck who's giving him this money.

The Lions are essentially unstoppable on offense

I feel like every team is a man short... They just have the perfect combination right now of Montgomery, who's your mutter and closer, Jahmyr Gibbs, who's your home run hitter, and oh by the way, Jared Goff doesn't miss an open receiver. So they're, they're pretty much unstoppable on offense right now.

Saquon Barkley will win the NFL rushing title

I think Saquon's gonna win the rushing title. I know Derrick Henry leads the league in rushing, but I think Saquon's gonna win it... I think their offensive line is better than Baltimore's. And I think that you watch Mekhi Becton in there at right guard, like he's just, you know, there's just, he's just a freak.

The Tennessee Titans are the best two-win team and will play spoiler

Tennessee Titans... seriously, like they can, they legitimately can run the football. Bill Callahan's coaching the offensive line... J.C. Latham was the right pick at left tackle... they've been in a lot of games. They won last week. They put up 400 something yards of offense against Detroit the week before. That's a team... I wouldn't take that team lightly on any given week.