Takes

The Texans +12.5 is way too many points in an NFL game

The Texans... Plus 12 and a half. That's a lot of points in the NFL, especially in week two, especially coming off a win.

The Jets will upset the Patriots in Week 2

Jets are going to win. It's going to be upset. [Zach Wilson] is a guy who can beat the Patriots.

The Eagles will be in contention for the NFC East in mid-November

I feel like that's where they're going to be, I don't know, somewhere in that 7-10. 7-9-1 area where there will be a moment where they're competing for the NFC East sometime in mid-November.

Jameis Winston and Taysom Hill are on the same level and Sean Payton will tank

Whatever's happening at the Saints organization. I put Jameis and Taysom on the same level. I think Sean Payton is going to tank for a high draft pick.

Baylor will win the National Championship

I'm going against Joel. I'm going with Baylor. I'm going with our guy Jared [Butler].

Gonzaga will win the National Championship

I'm going to take Gonzaga. I think they're going to win. I think it's going to be an awesome game.

Loyola Chicago will reach the 2021 Final Four

Loyola has a path to the Final Four here that's not that hard. So you should have put them higher because now it's going to happen. They're going to get to the Final Four.

Baylor will 'truck' Villanova in the Sweet 16

Baylor's going to truck Villanova. Put it on a board. Put it on a quote board. And I love Villanova... But yeah, Baylor, I've seen that Baylor team. They're going to truck you.

Arkansas will 'kill' Oral Roberts in the Sweet 16

Oral Roberts, Arkansas. Arkansas is going to kill them. Must bust all the way.

Tom Izzo will choke away the play-in game against Mick Cronin and UCLA

Izzo choked it away... This is the game where Izzo chokes it away at the end. He mismanages something. He might even get ejected in the second half. And our guy Mick Cronin demolishes him.

My Final Four picks: Gonzaga, UConn, Illinois, and Arkansas

I have Gonzaga, UConn, Huskies are back, Illinois. And Arkansas. That's my Final Four.

I'm betting the over on a half-interception for Tom Brady in the Super Bowl

Tom Brady over a half of an interception. So he's got to throw one. I think he's going to throw – I think Tom Brady's going to play well, but I also think he's going to take his shots.

Tails never fails on the Super Bowl coin toss

I usually go with tails never fails. ... It's tails. I'm betting tails. There you go. Tails never fails.

I am betting the biggest bet of my life on the Buccaneers to win the Super Bowl

You're going biggest bet of your life on the Bucs responsibly? Yep. I packed the vest. That's all you need to know. ... The man of vests is in the building.

The Packers will easily beat the Buccaneers because of the cold weather at Lambeau

I think Green Bay is going to be able to handle it pretty easily. The weather right now, it's scheduled to be 29 degrees and snowy in Lambeau Field. That, to me, that's a Packers win. God is on their side this week.

Aaron Rodgers will eventually become the full-time host of Jeopardy!

I actually think that Aaron Rodgers is going to eventually be the full-time host of Jeopardy. I think he's going to be, after he retires, I think he will. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to like doing it too much, and it combines all his favorite things: mustaches, being smarter than everybody, and letting everybody know that you're smarter than them.

The Bills will win the AFC Championship, possibly convincingly

I said it on Monday, and I'm sticking with it. I think the Bills are going to win, and I wouldn't be surprised if they win convincingly.

I will 'wipe Jose Canseco off the face of the earth' and force him to retire from public life

If I beat up Jose Canseco and he loses his fight, I don't see how he can even show his face in public again. So I'm literally wiping him off the face of the earth. We're never going to hear from him again.

The Bills are going to crush the Steelers

I think the Bills are going to crush them, actually.

The Seahawks defense will start turning a corner and stop being a liability within five weeks

Jamal Adams is going to be back. I think that the Seahawks defense is going to start turning a corner here playing well and it's going to take a little bit of time for people to catch up to it. But like in like three four weeks we're going to be sitting here being like, you know, who's really playing well to Seahawks defense.

Antonio Brown joining the Buccaneers will not end well because he is a 'legit psycho'

I'm calling my shot on this Antonio Brown is a legit psycho. You're hot right now because essentially your shots are... it's not going to end well now it's just not. I'm calling my shot on this Antonio Brown is a legit psycho... Big big-time bad news.

Take the Vikings to cover because the Packers are 0-6 straight up on Daylight Savings weekends

The Packers have lost the six six times in a row on daylight savings we can... I think I won six straight out. I thought it was against the spread. I don't know. What is it Jake find it whatever it is. I'm fall forward happened... you probably going to want to take that stat into your real to your play Barstool app picks.

The Rams are winning the Super Bowl

the biggest winning Super Bowl the revs winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, I want on the record. Really. Yeah. Wow, but you don't like golf. I love Jared go. You said you hated to no one of my best friends in this world... Jared has the experience. Aryans he's been there before this time. He's gonna get revenge.

I love the Panthers to beat the Falcons

Panthers-Falcons, start there. Falcons, this could be the end for Dan Quinn. I have said many times I'm going to respect Teddy Bridgewater more and that's why I love the Panthers in this game.

The Eagles will win the NFC East with a losing record like 3-5-1

The Eagles win the NFC East at like 3-5-1. The Eagles, they should have stopped playing right now. Yes, 1-2-1 is good enough to get you top of the NFC East this season.

The Bears will beat the Colts

Colts-Bears, Nick Foles baby... I don't know why the Bears are underdogs, but we're doing this... I think that the Bears are gonna win this game.

The Dolphins will upset the Seahawks in a low-scoring game

I think something funny is going to happen here... I think that the Dolphins could do this, they could win and like a 19 to 14 game.

I am betting a front-runner parlay on the Yankees and Lakers to both win titles this month

I might put a front-runner parlay down and go Yankees, Lakers, the Cowboys, Alabama football, and Duke basketball this year. We're going chalk.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Houston Texans win the Super Bowl this year

If the Houston Texans win the Super Bowl this year, I will cut off from the nail up tip of my pinky left hand. It's on.

The Bears will beat the Giants by 10 points in Week 2

I'll say it for you. I think the Bears win this game by 10 points. I'm very nervous for this game. But I'm nervous for every Bears game.

The Jets are the 'disgusting' underdog pick of the week against the 49ers

I kind of like the Jets here... Once having the same thought and everyone's betting the 49ers... this is going to be my dog of the week. It's the hold your nose. This is disgusting. You're going to hate yourself at like 1:35 on Sunday when it's 17 to three 49ers, but you're not dead yet.

Tom Brady will have a massive 'get right' game against the Panthers

I think Tom Brady's going to eat this week and everyone's like, oh my God Tom Brady's back. Yeah Bruce Arians did the classic Bruce Arians thing where he just spent the entire week making fun of Tom Brady.

Social media will bully Pete Carroll into letting Russell Wilson throw more this year

The Seahawks are going to be an interesting case this year because we might have the first time ever in the NFL that social media bullies Pete Carroll into actually letting his MVP caliber quarterback throw the ball more. I'm calling it 'Let Russ Cook'.

The Bills will go 13-3 and win the AFC East

What if the bills go like 13 and 3 and win the AFC East and maybe even get a first round bye? But it's so fucking sad think about like the fans in Buffalo not being able to be in the stadium.

The 'Can't Lose' Parlay: Eagles, Colts, and Bills money lines will all hit

I have my can't lose parlay the first one of the year. It cannot lose. Eagles, Colts, Bills money line. There's no chance that loses. It says it right in the name. I'm telling you right now there is no way it loses.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will have five coaches in an 18-month span

I want them to fire their interim between the end of the season because they're going for the record. I think this is their fourth... I need them to get five coaches in like the span of 18 months. I think that's absolutely a hundred percent likely to happen.

The Chiefs will win Super Bowl 54 and Tyrann Mathieu will have a turnover

I'm also taking the Chiefs. I have a lot of conviction in that bet... The Honey Badger is making the difference in this game. He's going to have at least one turnover. He has been the key to the Chiefs defense stepping up.

Deebo Samuel will score the first touchdown of Super Bowl 54

I'm also going to make a bold prediction. I think that the Niners are going to hit them with a play-action bomb on the first drive... It's going to Debo [Samuel]. He's going to Debo for six. First score Debo Samuel for six points.

The Chiefs will win and the game will go under the point total

My official prediction is basically a repeat of last year. The old-timer is going to beat the new guy. Under and the Chiefs.

The Chiefs and the Titans game will hit the over on 53 points

I'm taking the over and I don't care because I actually, when you're looking at this game, I feel like both offenses match up perfectly with both defenses... Give me the over. 53. I don't care.

The Packers have no chance to beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship

The Packers' defense cannot stop the 49ers' offense, and the Packers' offense cannot stop the 49ers' defense. I don't see a way that the Pack win this game. I really don't.

The 49ers, Ravens, and Chiefs money line parlay is a can't-lose bet

The 49ers, the Ravens, the Chiefs. Parlay them all, plus 105 on BetMGM, even money everywhere else... How does that lose? I don't see a way that it does.

The Titans will win if they have a single drive over 11 minutes long against the Ravens

If the Titans have a single drive that's over 11 minutes long, then they will win this game.

The Chiefs will blow out the Texans because Houston are frauds

I got Kansas City. I think they're going to blow them out. I think Houston, they reveal themselves to be frauds. That game against Buffalo... Buffalo lost that game more than the other way around.

I will go to church every Sunday for a year if the Vikings win the Super Bowl

I should start going back to church every single every single Sunday for an entire year... if they [Vikings] win the Super Bowl.

The Buffalo Bills will beat the Houston Texans 17-10 on Saturday

The final score will be 17 to 10. Yep, and the Buffalo Bills will win. Whoo. Okay, put it in stone.

The Patriots will beat the Titans easily and make everyone look stupid

This feels like one of those games where everyone is going to talk themselves into the Patriots being done... they're going to beat the Titans easily and everyone's be like damn we feel stupid.

Ryan Tannehill is not afraid of Tom Brady and the Titans will win

I'm taking the Titans. Okay, I think that Tannehill is the one quarterback that is not afraid of Tom Brady. He's beaten him four times... now we got Tannehill he's going to go in there. I think that the Titans are going to win.

The Eagles are my lock of the year against the Seahawks

I'm taking the Eagles because it's Tony's it's my Tony Danza lock the lock of the Year. Okay. I mean, I'm not an idiot. I'm going to also take Tony Danza.

I'm taking the Packers, Cowboys, and Broncos in a can't-lose parlay for Week 17

My can't lose parlay this week is the Green Bay Packers, the Dallas Cowboys, and the Denver Broncos.