Takes

Jay Cutler will return to the NFL to play for the 49ers

I know some people who know some people who know some people... heard Jay Cutler is going to be back for the San Francisco 49ers... I think Jay Cutler is going to be great in the San Francisco 49ers.

Jeff Fisher will return to coaching in the NFL next year

I know he will. Actually, I talked to him... a year ago. And he said... he was going to take a year off and then he'll probably get back into coaching. So probably next year.

I would like to pitch one more year in Major League Baseball

If we make it to next year, I'd like to get one more year in.

Jimmy Butler will be traded to the Phoenix Suns

Breaking case of emergency, Jimmy Butler trade. He just got traded to the Suns... Devin Booker, DeAndre Ayton, Jimmy Butler.

A Colin Kaepernick primetime game for the 49ers would be the highest-rated game of the season

I actually think that if Colin Kaepernick started a game in prime time for the 49ers, it would be the highest-rated game of the entire season. Absolutely. And Twitter would melt down.

Michael Rapoport suing Barstool over herpes allegations will trigger the Streisand effect

Rappaport claims Barstool engaged in a campaign to discredit and embarrass him, including accusing him of having herpes. The actor wants to make it clear in legal documents that he does not have herpes... I would tell everyone to please Google the Streisand effect and then laugh at the whole thing.

A Jimmy Butler trade to the Heat would make them a top-four seed in the East

Jimmy Butler with the Heat, do they compete in the East? Yeah. I'd say that they're probably... Three or four seed? I'm going to go with probably the Raptors, the Celtics, the Heat.

The 2018 Super Bowl will be Rams vs. Chiefs

I think it would be the Rams and the Chiefs, and probably the over would be at 70.

The Done Chain is officially on the Houston Texans

I am going to hang the Done Chain on the Houston Texans. Done. Done. I'm done with them.

Deshaun Watson will not have a great season due to his ACL recovery timeline

I didn't think that Deshaun Watson was going to have a great year this year because Adrian Peterson screwed it up for everybody by coming back from that ACL so quickly... It's going to be like a year and a half before he gets back to normal.

The Vikings will beat the Rams on Thursday Night Football

The Vikings are going to beat the Rams up Thursday night... Because the Rams are the best team in football, we can all agree... don't take anything the week before and put it on this week.

The Rams have already won the NFC West

I'm about ready to give the Rams the NFC West title right now.

Josh Gordon will not have long-range success with the Patriots

I don't think [Josh Gordon] has long-range success written over it... because he's not passionate about football... If you're not willing to do the time and the effort into it, you're just going to get cast aside.

The Cleveland Browns will make the playoffs

Welcome to being a winner Cleveland. I say the Cleveland Browns are going to make the playoffs.

The Giants season is over if they lose to the Texans

This is officially if the thing is, I'm pretty sure the Giants are terrible. And if the Texans lose to a terrible team, their season's over... When you dun-chain someone, their season is over.

Bet the Redskins +3 because of the bad turf at FedEx Field

One, Aaron Rodgers, he says that his knee's getting – like he's afraid that it's going to get worse. And the Redskins' defensive line is pretty good... Aaron Rodgers' knee, the Redskins' turf. That's all you need to say for that game.

The Patriots will roll over Matt Patricia and the Lions

I also think the Pats roll over [Matt] Patricia. Big Cat, you have sources. They hate Patricia, huh?

The Bears will win the NFC North this year

This is your year to win that division. Aaron Rodgers is hurt. Kirk Cousins is a nerd. Matt Patricia lost the locker room. This is your year to win that division.

The championship window has officially closed for the Seattle Seahawks

This is a major, like, officially the window has shut on the Seattle Seahawks. I'm ready to declare window closed. They're going to now have to remake themselves as an offensive team. No more glory hole.

Chris Carson is a future All-Pro running back

They're playing with [10 ghosts], except for Chris Carson, who's future All-Pro running back.

The Arizona Cardinals are a sleeper team this season

One sleeper for the season is the Arizona Cardinals. Sam Bradford, of course, he has to stay healthy. David Johnson came on our show... a thousand and a thousand. So with him, Larry Legend, Fitzgerald, and then Chandler Jones and Patrick Peterson, I think they can do some damage.

Josh Gordon won't succeed in New England if he couldn't in Cleveland

If you can't get your shit together enough to play for the Browns and for the Browns to release you—I think that if you can't get your shit together enough to be able to play on the Browns for six years, then you're probably not going to be able to play for Bill Belichick.

The Patriots are going to trade for Josh Gordon

If you're anything like me, your first reaction [to the Josh Gordon news] was the fucking Patriots are going to get him.

Chris Carson will run for a lot of yards against the Bears

I think the Bears are going to win. I'm eager to see [Chris Carson] run for a shitload of yards, as I predicted.

Josh Gordon will be traded on Monday

I think [Josh Gordon] is going to be traded at some point on Monday. And then the Browns wash their hands of him.

Josh Gordon's likely landing spots are the Seahawks, Patriots, or 49ers

I think that Seattle would be one of the teams... I think the Patriots would have to be considered... I'd say Seahawks, Patriots, 49ers would be the three teams I'd watch.

Todd Haley will take over for Hue Jackson at some point this season

I think Todd Haley is the guy that ends up taking over at some point for the rest of the season, at some point this year [in Cleveland].

Ohio State will kill TCU on Saturday night

Let's just say I think Ohio State's going to kill TCU on Saturday night.

Texas will beat USC in their rematch

We think that Texas might actually beat USC. I think they will. This feels like Texas comes out and, hey, maybe they're not as bad as we thought they were.

The Cleveland Browns will be a good spot once everything clicks

Once everything starts to click, that's going to be a good spot [Cleveland] because you look around that division... Baltimore's on the way down... Roethlisberger's got a couple years left... Cincinnati's always Cincinnati... Cleveland's going to be sitting there right at the right time to get good.

Josh Allen has the best upside of the 2018 draft class

The best upside of the draft class is Josh Allen. [Big Cat: Josh Allen. Yeah, there we go.]

Matthew Stafford will be a legitimate Hall of Fame candidate despite people thinking he sucked

Matt Stafford is going to go down as the best, worst quarterback of all time because his numbers – he doesn't get injured... He's played 10 years. He's only 30 years... His statistics will be so insane that he will be a legitimate Hall of Fame candidate. And everyone who watched him would be like, that guy sucked.

Sam Darnold will definitely be a Hall of Famer

I feel like this is a long time coming, and I'm sure Sam Darnold will be a Hall of Famer.

Jason Garrett will definitely be fired this year

I think that... This is absolutely the year that he [Jason Garrett] gets fired. He's going to lose to the Giants on Sunday night, by the way.

The Eagles will win the NFC and go from there

Give me an official prediction real quick for your record this year... As an eagle. I think we're going to win our conference and go from there.

The Ravens are going to win the AFC North

The Ravens do look like a good football team. John Harbaugh is a week one gangster. Yeah, they're going to win that division.

The Bengals are going to win the AFC North

Yeah, so my team that's going to win the [AFC] North, the Cincinnati Bengals... They have a ton of talent, and as long as Andy Dalton... Their color rush unis were fire.

I will get a Patrick Mahomes tattoo if Big Cat eats horse poop

I'm going to get a Patrick Mahomes tattoo. You want to bet? You have to eat horse poop if I get a Mahomes tattoo?

Whoever loses Bears vs. Seahawks in Week 2 will miss the playoffs

Whoever loses that game is not going to make the playoffs. Can I just do it right now? Can I just say it's a win? You don't have to play it?

Jeremy Hill will be the most physical running back in New England since Corey Dillon

[Jeremy] Hill, the new running back that they got in town. He's going to be the most physical running back in New England since Corey Dillon. Maybe even more physical.

Tom Brady will play three more years and win one more Super Bowl

Gun to your head, Tom Brady, how many more years does he play? Three. How many more Super Bowls does he win? One.

The Bengals will be a good value this year

I'm also buying the Bengals this year. I think this is the perfect year for the Bengals to get Marvin Lewis another seven years. Joe Mixon, John Ross, A.J. Green, I actually think they're going to score points.

The Buccaneers will cover +9.5 against the Saints

For my underdog I'm going with the Buccaneers... They're plus nine and a half at New Orleans. This is one of the situations where every bone in my body says to take New Orleans so I'm going to fade myself and I'm going with the Buccaneers.

Mitchell Trubisky will have a breakout year with an open play book

I think [Mitchell Trubisky] is going to do well. You look at last year, they didn't let him do much last year. I think this year will be different. They're going to open it up, use his athletic ability, move him around a little bit. I've not been this excited in a long time about our team.

I'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs

We'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs. Spread that mayo all over it. Yeah, we'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs.

The Browns are going to win the Super Bowl

I don't know if I am just still feeling the high of a Liev Schreiber narrated slow-mo. But I think the Browns are going to win the Super Bowl.

Christian Yelich will win the MLB MVP

It's Christian Yelich since appearing on Pardon My Take in July. He's first in batting average, tied for first in home runs, first in runs, first in RBIs, and first in slugging percentage. Many people are saying he's going to be the MVP.

Tom Brady will run for office in Massachusetts as a Democrat after he retires

I think that Tom Brady is going to run for office in Massachusetts after he's done playing football. And to win in Massachusetts when you're running for office, you typically have to be a Democrat. And Tom Brady has gone from having the Make America Great Again hat in his locker to now he's liking Colin Kaepernick's Instagram posts for the new ad campaign.

Rick Pitino is finished but not done with coaching

Rick Pitino says in that book, Rick Pitino believes it's unlikely he will return to coaching. He's finished. He has said it himself. He's finished. I think he's finished but not done. It will only take a little bit of time for him to come back. Give him 20 minutes and he won't be finished anymore. He'll be ready to go again.

The Khalil Mack trade marks the beginning of a Bears dynasty

The Bears are back... The best trade that's ever been traded. I'm thinking like maybe even when the Cowboys did that trade with the Vikings, this is going to be the start of a dynasty.