Takes

Mike Vrabel should be Coach of the Year

I'm super impressed with the Patriots this year. I think that the Patriots, Mike Vrabel is a great coach. He should be coach of the year.

I bet the Chiefs beat the Chargers because it is a massive trap spot for the public

I love the Chiefs in this game and I am saying that from a point of, I'm not someone who's been chasing the Chiefs every single week... This feels like a huge trap. Everyone watched the Chargers win on Monday night. Everyone watched the Chiefs lose on Sunday night. Now the Chargers are getting five and a half points... I think Mahomes is going to maybe do the dink and dunk down the field. I like the Chiefs in this game.

Jalen Hurts is Russell Wilson 2.0 (and that is a good thing)

I said Jalen Hurts is Russell Wilson 2.0... I said Russell Wilson was a very good quarterback. I think Jalen Hurts is a very good quarterback. They, they're not the top three guys in the league, but they're somewhere after that where if their team is good around 'em, they're winning a Super Bowl.

The 49ers are the 'lurking' team in the NFC that no one is talking about enough

I will say this about the 49ers, they feel like the team that not a lot of people are talking about and they're kind of just lurking there... 49ers are right there. Yeah, they're right fucking there.

I will stop cussing for the rest of the season if Philip Rivers beats the Seahawks

If Philip Rivers, if they win, I won't cuss for the rest of football season. Yeah. I'm gonna stop cussing. It would be that magical of a moment.

The Seahawks are going to 'kill' and 'fuck up' Philip Rivers in his return

But the Seahawks are probably gonna fuck him up probably... This is a I'm worried about him getting hit. That's the problem... I think the Seahawks are gonna maybe kill him. Seahawks are really fucking good.

The Bengals can make the playoffs if they beat the Bills

I know that I've made the joke that everyone says don't let the Bengals into the playoffs. We won't. There is a chance that Bengals can make the playoffs because if they can win this game [against the Bills], the rest of their schedule is easy.

Joe Burrow has started eight games in the last year and is 8-0 as a starter

In the last 12 months, Joe Burrow has started... He is eight and oh as a starter in the last calendar year. Since this date, December 2nd, the last 367 days.

The Colts are in deep water because they have the toughest remaining schedule in the NFL.

The Colts could be in deep water because the Colts have the toughest remaining strength to schedule based on win percentage. They play the Jaguars, the Seahawks, the 49ers, the Jaguars and the Texans. Those are all playoff teams right now.

The Jaguars vs. Colts matchups are essentially a two-game series to determine the NFL Coach of the Year.

I think that this is Leg one of the home and home coach of the year series. ... I think that a sweep, a sweep goes a long way here. ... Liam Coen's done an incredible job.

Sam Darnold is 10-0 straight up in his career as a favorite of six points or more

Sam Darnold has been a favorite of six points or more 10 times as a starter in the NFL. He's 10 and oh straight up, eight and two against the spread in those games.

The current Seahawks defense is playing better than the Legion of Boom did in any seven-game stretch

The Seahawks defense in terms of... a seven-game stretch, they have actually played better in a seven-game stretch this year than the best seven-game stretch of the Legion of Boom.

Shedeur Sanders isn't actually controversial; the polarization is driven entirely by external conversations about him.

The most controversial parts of Shedeur Sanders are actually not Shedeur Sanders. It's what other people say about Shedeur Sanders. ... As a guy goes, I don't think that Shedeur is the reason—it's everybody else talking about [him].

I am 60% sure Jayden Daniels will not play against the Vikings.

I still don't know [if Jayden Daniels is playing]. ... I'm at like 60% that he's not gonna play. ... Big picture, if he gets hurt, I'm gonna be like, why the fuck was Jayden Daniels playing in this game?

Now is the perfect time to buy stock in JJ McCarthy.

I actually think this might be where you wanna buy some nine [JJ McCarthy] stock. ... I'm gonna buy some nine stock this week. ... This might be nine week.

I would rather see Jayden Daniels play and risk injury than sit him for the rest of the season

Big picture, if he gets hurt, I'm gonna be like, why the fuck was Jayden Daniels playing? Counterpoint: Good football players want to play football when they're healthy. I would really like to see Jayden Daniels play this weekend. I don't care. I like watching him play football.

Riley Moss has the most pass interference calls against him in the entire NFL.

Do you know who has the most pass interference calls against them in the entire NFL... defensively against them? ... Riley Moss is number one by far. He's got, I believe, seven. Next closest guy has four.

Matthew Stafford's 31 career pick-sixes is actually a complimentary stat

Matthew Stafford has 31 [pick-sixes]. Brett Favre has 32. And you're like, 'Ooh, that's a bad stat.' And then you realize... that means you're very, very good because you played long enough that it didn't actually matter. It's actually kind of a compliment that the rest of your game is so good that 31 pick-sixes are completely irrelevant.

The Texans' defense is the best singular unit of any team in the AFC.

The Texans might be the best singular unit of any team in the AFC. ... Their defense is for real. And it's, it's like, shit, man. They, they beat the fuck—what they did to Josh Allen a couple weeks ago was like, oh man.

Week 14 is an elimination game for the Chiefs

The Chiefs season kind of comes down to three-game schedule at home... If they lose this game [against the Texans], I think it's gonna be very hard for them to make the playoffs. This is an elimination game pretty much for the Chiefs today.

Colts -4.5 vs. Texans is a suspiciously low line that favors the Colts

I'm gonna take the Colts minus four and a half. I feel like the, that that's, that's a field goal line. Why is it four and a half? They know something.

The Colts will beat the Chiefs this weekend

I think I like the Colts this weekend. Gimme the Indianapolis Colts plus three and a half... gimme the hook, gimme the Colts and nuke it. Nuke City.

I bet the Cowboys to cover +3 against the Eagles

I'm gonna take the Cowboys plus three... I think the Cowboys are gonna cover the spread. The Eagles can win the game.

Sauce Gardner is exactly the type of player the Colts secondary needs

I think that [Sauce Gardner] is exactly what the Colts need in terms of a football player... he's exactly what the Colts need in terms of a football player [after the trade].

Lane Kiffin won't take the Giants job because it's too cold in New York

Lane Kiffin has officially taken his hat out of the running to be the Giants next head coach 'cause of coldness. [Kiffin] said not interested, too cold up there.

The Seahawks are legitimate Super Bowl contenders

The Seahawks are really fucking good. They're Super Bowl contenders.

Kyler Murray made the correct financial decision choosing the NFL over MLB

I'll say that. Even if [Kyler Murray] never is a good starting quarterback in the NFL and never gets another bonafide shot, he made the correct choice because he's made $170 million.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

The Lions are going to destroy the Commanders this weekend

I think we're gonna get destroyed. I think Dan Campbell is going to have his team just salivating ready to destroy us. It's gonna be an ass kicking.

Shane Steichen is a top three candidate for Coach of the Year

I think Steichen, he's like top what? Definitely in the top three for coach of the Year so far this year.

I'm 'Falcons heavy' and taking the points (+6.5) against the Colts in Berlin

Gotta take the Falcons. Gotta take the Falcons. I'm Falcons heavy. Yeah. It's my play of the week actually. [The line is] Colts minus six and a half.

The Bears vs. Bengals game is a 'must look good' game for the Chicago offense

This is a must look good on offense game. The Bears offense has not, has been up and down this year... If you can't light up the Bengals defense, then I'm gonna start having some doubts creep in.

Aiden Hutchinson is a lock for NFL Comeback Player of the Year

I was looking at the Comeback Player of the Year stats. I love Aiden Hutchinson for that right now. I think he's like five to one. I think that's a good bet. I'm gonna bet that right now actually.

Jordan Love is on a trajectory to be an all-time great based on his first 40 starts

Jordan Love is one of three NFL quarterbacks to post in his first 40 career starts, 70 plus passing touchdowns, 25 or fewer interceptions. The other two quarterbacks are Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson. Although he is really good and it's bad, I think there's a chance he plays well into his forties.

The Patriots will blow out the Falcons

I'm going blowout... I'll do nine and a half... Gillette's gonna be rocking... I think it's gonna be a blowout.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Shane Steichen is the frontrunner for NFL Coach of the Year

Shane Steichen feels like maybe Coach of the Year. Right? And I don't really like, the Colts are just really, really good.

The Broncos will beat the Texans because of their defensive front matching up against Houston's line

I think the Broncos are gonna win this game... I'm going off the same reasoning I had last week... when they [Texans] play pass rushes that are good, they struggle. Broncos are one of them. I'm gonna take the Broncos defense.

The Broncos and Texans will go under 39.5 points

I think that both these defenses are very, very good... I think the Broncos defense is gonna frustrate the absolute fuck out of the Texans defense. I'm taking the under in this game.

The Dolphins are running out the clock on Mike McDaniel and Tua Tagovailoa

It just seems like the Dolphins are running out the clock here on the season on Mike McDaniel on Tua... the Picks are happening whether you can see it or not. Maybe just try to do some blind plays.

Tua Tagovailoa has 'low eyes' which causes him to miss linebackers

I feel like this is why in the draft you measure quarterbacks up to the eyeballs. You don't measure 'em to the top of the head. Tua's got a lot of wasted space in the forehead. Makes him a little bit taller on paper than he really is. He's got low eyes.

Kirk Cousins will play well for the Falcons and then be traded to another team this season.

I hope that at some point this season we get a Kirk Cousins game. I want to see Kirk Cousins. I want him to go out there. I want him to play well and then I want him to be traded to another team this season.

The Jets are experiencing 'below rock bottom' dysfunction

This is just total dysfunction. This is the rock bottom we were talking about under the rock bottom. It's below the rock bottom. And now it's only up from here. Hopefully.

Shado Sanders is ready to start based on his recent progress in practice.

Mary Kay Cabot said in practice Shado Sanders has been making a ton of progress. He looks really good... It sounds out there, it sounds like Shado is ready.

Drake Maye is a 'total package' and a 'cover two killer'

He's efficient. Accurate. Total package... Cover two killer. [I've] been watching a lot of film. Knows cover two.

AJ Brown feels 'used' by the Eagles because they only target him when they desperately need to win.

I think he looks at his relationship with a football team and every time they go to him and they try to exploit a weakness in the defense... he feels like he's being used, like they wouldn't pass him the ball if they didn't need him to win. So fuck them. It's like, you're just using me so that you can win.

The Ravens removing their ping pong tables means they will beat the Bears

The Ravens removed their ping pong tables... Harbaugh said that the vets did it. I have a hard and fast rule when a team removes a ping pong table from, I mean, that, that means they're ready to win... I'm going into this game thinking the Ravens might kill the Bears.

Boneless wings are just big nuggets trying to be cool

Wings are not boneless. Wings have bones in them, but, this is it's big nugget that's trying to make themselves seem like they're as cool as chicken wings. You'll never be as cool as chicken wings. It's the mocktail of chicken.

The Texans defense will win them the game against the 49ers

I like the Texans in this game. Not, obviously not because of their offense... I'm more gonna bet the Texans because their defense is the best unit on the field. And the 49ers Mac Jones looked good, but this is a different defense. This is a top defense.

The Rams against the spread are a must-bet because they are 11-3 in their last 14 games

The Rams are just knocking people out against the spread recently... they're 11 and 3 against the spread in their last 14 games. Yep. One of those was the blocked field goal by the Eagles... they should be 12 and 2 at that point.