Takes

The 49ers offensive pass interference on George Kittle was a 'bullshit call'

The only thing that we should also mention then is that the George Kittle pass interference was kind of a bullshit call.

Michael Wilbon's 'Lordy' tweet was just a way to hide that he was horny online

That Lordy is, I got my pants out. I got my pants off, and I'm cranking it right now. That Lordy means shit. Like, Michael Wilbon was undressed when J-Lo started bouncing her booty around.

Mike Leach will be successful at Mississippi State because you have to do something different in the SEC

I always thought, like, at Mississippi State, Ole Miss, you have to do something different. Because, like, you're not just going to line up and beat Alabama or LSU. Like, you're just not going to have the talent there. So I think it's a good fit.

Coach K yelling at Duke fans is a great example of leadership and loyalty

I think it was a recruiting thing, and I think if you're a prospective player and you see that, you see a coach that fights for his guys, even if they're on the other team, that is a great leader. It was because of loyalty. It's a brotherhood for life, and that's a great example of showing that.

The 49ers have been the best team in the NFL all year wire-to-wire

I just think that the 49ers have that. They've been the best team all year. I think we forget that they have pretty much wire to wire been the best team all year... the 49ers have been close to a juggernaut. They have played really, really well all season long.

You aren't in your mid-30s until you're 36

I'm just going to make a motion that your mid-30s doesn't start until you're 36. You're in your early 30s when you're 35.

Michael Bloomberg's dog handshake is a major red flag

Michael Bloomberg... has been pictured twice now greeting dogs on the campaign trail by grabbing them around the top of their mouth and shaking them like it's a handshake... hand inside the mouth. And then going that's a handshake to the dog.

Brad Davison has taken the mantle of most hated player in college basketball from Duke

Wisconsin basketball is officially more hated than Duke this year. Brad Davison up to his old tricks with a nut shot last night. I think Brad Davidson has taken the mantle of most hated college basketball player this year, which usually is reserved for the whitest guy on Duke.

Mike Martz had no conscience when it came to calling high-risk plays

I'll give it to Mike [Martz]. He had no conscience. He went into the game, and he was literally playing Madden. With human beings. It was just chess pieces... He always thought the next play was the one. He's dialing it up.

Mitch Trubisky should stop reading everything and go underground

Don't read anything. Stop reading is your advice. Go underground here, bud. I think you watch some of his press conferences and stuff, and you could tell it [media criticism] really bothered him sometimes. The more he can get away from all that stuff, I think the better for him.

Kent Sterling's take on Cubs fans being 'sluggish' for getting hit by foul balls is trash

Chicago Cubs will protect fans too stupid or sluggish to avoid foul balls by extending nets... This guy sucks. This guy is trash... He basically saying he wrote this entire article to brag that parents are capable of protecting kids because he did it once.

The NBA should have canceled all games on the day Kobe Bryant died

I think [the NBA] should have canceled the games today because of what he meant everybody in the league. It seemed like Kobe had some sort of influence on every single team... it felt like one of those things where the the whole league was like sleepwalking.

I'm only joining an XFL team if I have a real chance to make the roster

The practice squad offer is apparently legit. Like I'm going to get a contract if I want to go down that road... in which case I'm only going down that road if they give me an opportunity to work my way onto a team. I'm not just going to be on practice squad a year.

Bryson DeChambeau worries too much about angles and should just play golf

He does like the compass and the he does like all the math behind his shots. Just go out and shoot the ball, dude, maybe if you stop thinking about it, you'd be like Brooks [Koepka] and wind shit... You worry too much about angles buddy.

Antarctica is always freezing, regardless of whether it is 'summer' there

I was always taught that Antarctica was just always freezing. No one lives there. It's a continent that no one lives on because it's all ice... I've never probably my life got ratio so hard but people being like you fucking idiot like it's the summer in Antarctica... it's still cold, but it's colder than here.

I actually prefer blocking to catching the ball

I like blocking a lot like my favorite thing... when it's play call is like, all right, you're just going to go just throw some people out of the club. You're like fuck. Yes. Let's go.

If my accomplishments in the next 20 years don't exceed my NBA career, then I failed

I told somebody said listen if what I do in the next 20 years is not better than my last 20 then I failed... I wouldn't accomplish what I accomplished my last 20 years if I did not have this mentality to begin with.

Claiming a bad system or bad teammates ruined your career is just an excuse

That sounds like excuses to me. I mean, you got to figure it out, right? If you really have an obsession to figure it out. You will figure it out, right and every puzzles constructed differently... You just got to figure out Your own puzzles.

Zion Williamson is always one bad weekend away from being fat

He is not fat, but he's always a bad weekend away from being fat. A bachelor party, going on a trip. Maybe a trip to New Orleans... you come into work on Monday and everyone looks at you like you got stung by a bunch of bees.

Eli Manning's Hall of Fame case relies entirely on beating the Patriots

Does Eli have a— is his legacy seen differently, and is he a surefire Hall of Famer if he beats teams not named the Patriots in the Super Bowl? No. Because that is really when you boil down what Eli is... he had two moments where he beat the best coach and the best quarterback in the NFL history.

The greatest feeling in the world is hunting and catching a human being

Hemingway said that the greatest thing in the world is to hunt another human being and catch him. So that's the greatest feeling you could ever have.

Truth serum would fix the American justice system

Hit him with truth serum for $69.50. You find out everything. So I think that is real justice. And we don't do it enough. Because the lawyers got to make money, the courts have to make money... let's get down to the real nitty gritty. Hit him with that and find out what's really going on.

The Baseball Hall of Fame is erroneous without Barry Bonds

The fact that Barry Bonds isn't in the Hall of Fame makes the Hall of Fame completely erroneous to me. Or Roger Clemens. Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. He should be in the Hall of Fame.

Andy Reid is a better coach than Bill Cowher

If Bill Cowher's in the fucking Hall of Fame, Andy Reid should be in the Hall of Fame. Andy Reid's way better of a coach than Bill Cowher. I'm sorry, but that's a fact.

George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL

Best current tight end in the league. Travis Kelce or George Kittle. It's Kittle. Greg [George] Kittle. It's definitely Greg [George] Kittle.

Mitch Trubisky is going to be a great quarterback

Mitch Trubisky is going to be great. I mean, he had good spurts, right? I mean, I don't even think he would tell you that he's a finished product yet, but he has a lot of potential... Mitch is definitely not bad.

I would be a successful goal-line running back or tight end

I feel like I would be the Von Miller of running backs if I was a running back... I've had this pitch for about since we won the Super Bowl. I should be playing offense in the goal line package. I practice with Todd Davis and I just don't feel like they can cover me like they can cover other tight ends.

The NFL's new roughing the passer rules make it harder for defensive players to tackle running quarterbacks like Patrick Mahomes

I actually think that a little hot take, but the new rules with hitting quarterbacks makes it harder for defensive players to fully go at a quarterback. It felt like guys wanted to tackle him, but it also felt like if they went too hard they would get a penalty. You very rarely get a clean shot on a quarterback in the open field and they missed it.

Winning Super Bowl 54 will completely change Andy Reid's coaching legacy

Andy Reid is in that classic situation where his legacy, if he wins a Super Bowl, will change so dramatically. He's been such a good coach for so long... but that one Super Bowl win will take him from a great coach to one of the best. This is a legacy game for Andy Reid.

If you are a man with a fat face, you must have high-volume hair to distract people from your cheeks

If you're a bigger guy, you need to have your hair have as much volume as possible to hide the fact that you have a fat face. When you put on a hat, it always makes your face look fatter. All the focus goes to your fat fucking cheeks. So you need to have hair, just crazy hair, to take away. Hair and beard are a fat guy's best friend.

The Chicago Cubs should be retroactively awarded the 2017 World Series because of the Astros and Dodgers cheating scandals

The other thing they should do is retroactively give the Cubs a 2017 World Series. So back-to-back, no big deal. We lost to the Dodgers and the Dodgers lost to the Astros. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters. Just do the right thing.

Sign stealing is the most American thing you can do

If we hadn't stolen signs in World War II, we'd all be speaking Japanese. Sign stealing is the most American thing someone can do.

Ezekiel Elliott is the hardest running back in the NFL to tackle

For the running back position, I'd say Zeke. He runs behind his pads well, so I give it to Zeke.

I can take Quenton Nelson in a fight

[Big Cat]: You versus Quenton Nelson. Who wins in a fight? [Darius Leonard]: In a fight? I'm with me. Yes. I'm a competitor... Yeah, I can take him. It's not the size of the dog that's in the fight, but the size of the fight that's in the dog.

I can outkick Jay Feeley

Could PFT outkick Jay Feeley now if they were both wearing suits and reporting on the sideline and immediately got called in to start kicking field goals? Definitely. Jay Feeley's a fucking loser. He needs his two little weird gloves to be able to kick. I don't need that shit... I kicked Raw Dog. No glove, no love. I absolutely would [fuck him up]. And consider that a challenge.

LSU is in the conversation for the best college football team of all time

Doubting them was the... I mean they are in the conversation for best college football team of all time. They beat five out of the top eight teams. They destroyed everyone. They had the best resume of any college football team to ever exist.

College football broadcasts make every coach look like they are going bald, except Ed Orgeron

Whatever camera angles and Camera filters or whatever they use to focus on coaches on the sidelines. They can take a coach that is probably not losing their hair and make it look like that coach is balding. Every coach looks balding on college football broadcasts. Coach Orgeron, his hair overpowered that.

Nick Saban appearing on the championship telecast while LSU won was a weird move

I don't think I would do it soon as LSU is there I think I'm like, you know what I'm gonna sit this one out... why don't I mean to have your arrival win in you're doing the I don't know. I don't think I would do it. So Saban became a meme I think for a minute.

Kirk Cousins was not the main reason the Vikings lost to the 49ers

I'm not going to sit here and do the lazy Kirk Cousins stinks, he can never win a big game. He wasn't good, but his offensive line was worse, and I'm not going to put all the blame on Kirk Cousins. To me, this game was way more about the Niners' defense than Kirk Cousins screwing up royally.

The divisional round exit is the ceiling for the current Minnesota Vikings

This is their ceiling. And it's a pretty good ceiling. I mean, you made the divisional round of the playoffs. You won a road playoff game in New Orleans... You should be happy with this, kind of. Eventually they're going to get exactly where they are every single time with Kirk Cousins.

The Ravens panicked against the Titans and abandoned their identity

Holy shit, was that a fucking inexcusable loss at home where they just looked terrible. And I know Lamar Jackson had a million yards. But I actually don't blame it all on him because it felt like the Ravens... they panicked when they went down, and how many times are they going to run empty backfield when all season long they were fucking everyone up? That's the stupidest thing you could ever do.

The Lakers are peaking too early in the NBA season

The Lakers are really fucking good... peaking too early. They didn't even have Anthony Davis and LeBron the other night, and they fucking smoked the Thunder... I'm putting in the tickler file... peaking too early.

Mike Leach in the SEC is a match made in heaven for entertainment

Mike Leach in the SEC, a match made in heaven. Maybe not from a football standpoint, from an entertainment standpoint. Lane Kiffin versus Mike Leach in the Egg Bowl. I hope it happens for 50 years.

Russell Wilson is not good in cold weather

The only thing I'm worried about is I don't think Russell Wilson can play in the cold. I don't think he's a cold guy... his record and his stats in the cold, he's not good. He gets spooked.

You have to compare Joe Judge immediately to John Harbaugh

You have to compare [Joe Judge] immediately to John Harbaugh. Of course. And say, okay, this guy could work. Because not enough special team guys get opportunities.

I would rather hire Matt Rhule than Nick Saban or Urban Meyer

I actually would feel more comfortable getting a Matt Rhule type than like an Urban Meyer or even a Nick Saban... Matt Rule did more with less. Temple is not really a football powerhouse. Baylor was obviously in kind of a disaster zone. So he wasn't beating guys with just going out and getting all the recruits... He was beating them, I would assume, with at least some X's and O's.

Mike McCarthy only winning one Super Bowl with Aaron Rodgers makes him just an okay coach

If you asked any Packer fan, though, and let's just say that Aaron Rodgers is not going to win another Super Bowl, the fact that Mike McCarthy had Aaron Rodgers that type of talent and they only won one is an okay coach.

There is a Blake of the Year curse

So it's time to ask, is there a Blake of the Year curse? You've got Griffin [surgery]. Bortles got traded. He moved teams... and went bald.

College bowl games are boring and pointless

Good riddance. Bowls are boring. What's the point?

Men turn uglier and uglier as they get older

As you get older, men turn uglier and uglier... George Clooney and Brad Pitt, those guys are flukes. That was like a mistake. I would say that most guys are disgusting, right? It's just a known fact.