Takes

I will knock out Tex in the second round

Second round knockout. Woo! Boy. Actually, I'm 100% on board with that... I'm going to knock his ass out. Double sit-em. And my sleeper is the left-handed uppercut. Watch out for that in the second round when I fucking knock Tex's ass out.

The Patriots will beat the Steelers in Week 15

Everyone's talking about the Patriots-Steelers game. And I'm saying, hmm, the Steelers, like, everyone's healthy. Le'Veon Bell's healthy. They could probably beat the Patriots. Don't overthink it. Patriots are probably going to win.

Aaron Rodgers will beat the Panthers in his return from injury

Packers-Panthers. Aaron Rodgers back. Everyone's saying, well, he's rusty. I'm not overthinking it. Aaron Rodgers is going to win this game.

I'm betting on Cam Newton over Aaron Rodgers because he finally has weapons like Devin Funchess and Christian McCaffrey

I'm going to bet on Cam Newton because he finally has a receiver... Funchess. And Christian McCaffrey. People don't talk about McCaffrey being a threat in the passing game.

The Seahawks will beat the Rams at home in December

Rams-Seahawks. Again, don't overthink it because I love the Rams. I love Jared Goff. But the Seahawks don't lose at home in December. No. They do not... Not against the quarterback caliber of Jared Goff.

The Chiefs will beat the Chargers because it will be cold and Phillip Rivers will fail late in Kansas City

Chargers Chiefs. The hottest team in the league. Chiefs at home. Yes, yes... because I'm doing the old close your eyes and think about what's most likely going to happen, and it's going to be cold, it's going to be loud... Phillip Rivers is going to be down a score and doing his thing... It's not going to work.

The Bills will beat the Dolphins because Miami players hate playing in the Buffalo cold

I'm taking the Bills, whatever it is. The Dolphins going from the best game of their season on Monday night to Buffalo and being like, fuck, we don't want to be in Buffalo... The Dolphins' jerseys and their colors look cold. It looks like the players get colder in them in cold-weather climates.

LeBron James will join the Lakers in six months

LeBron and Lonzo had a very secret out-in-the-open meeting... it's either one of two things. One, LeBron just being like, yo, dude, just hang in there because I'll be there in like six months, which I think is probably the case.

Tex will beat Hank at Rough N Rowdy

I'm picking Tex. I am... Because I think everybody's on Team Hank. I'm just being a contrarian... I'm going against the house... I haven't thought about it, but I don't see a real knockout.

The Chargers will sneak into the 2017 playoffs

I think the Chargers will probably sneak in. There's not one team I can be like, you know what? They could probably make a run, which I don't think we've had that in a really long time.

The Jaguars are going to make the 2017 AFC Championship Game

I'm going out on a limb. I think that the Jaguars are making the AFC Championship. They have that right mix where it's like they have a great defense. If they just run the ball, let Blake [Bortles] be Blake.

The Falcons are a 'lurker' team that knows how to win ugly and can make a deep run

I think we haven't heard the last of Dan Quinn in the Falcons. I feel like they're the lurker. You know what I mean? The team, it's like they have all the pieces, and they've played really shitty and survived... They would know how to win ugly.

I am going to kill Dylan 'Tex' Stone at Rough N' Rowdy

My hot seat is Dylan [Tex] Stone. He's the person I'm fighting on Friday, December 15th at the Rough and Rowdy. It might be just because I'm all hyped up on pre-workout right now, but I'm going to fucking kill him.

The Chargers will be the best team to not make the playoffs

The [LA] Chargers might be the hottest team in the NFL right now... ever since I said they were going to be the best team to not make the playoffs and you guys laughed. The Raiders probably will be the best team to not make the playoffs [initially], but I was so right. This Chargers team not only is their schedule cupcakes, but they are balling.

The Chargers are going to make the playoffs

I am sorry about the Raiders comment, but you were very wrong about the Chargers comment because they are going to make the playoffs.

The NFC Championship will be Vikings vs. Packers

Aaron Rodgers isn't even going to play this season, and he's going to somehow get to the NFC Championship game... It's going to be Vikings-Packers for my real personal hell.

Joe Flacco will eventually draw a pass interference call on a spike

I think Joe Flacco is probably going to be the first quarterback in history to draw a PI [pass interference] on a spike, like when he's just killing the [clock].

Oklahoma is good enough to win the national championship this year

Do you think that this year the team is good enough to win a title? Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely... I believe that they have it to do because if we can get an occasional three and out, a turnover... the sooner offense... they're something else.

The Jaguars season is AFC Championship or bust

We're at the point now, the defense is so good... It's AFC Championship or bust.

The Packers will beat the Browns by double digits in Week 14

I think this is prime. Oh, wow. You want to put a lock on it? Yeah. It is now. ... I'm going to take the Packers. This is where they start their run, and they're going to piss everybody off, and then they're going to win a playoff game.

The Browns will beat the Packers in Week 14

I'm going to lock back on you. I'm going to take the Browns. ... Oh, fuck. Your last name's Lockwood. That makes your locks. Double lock. ... I'm locked up. All you listeners out there, go with Hank.

The Raiders vs. Chiefs game is an elimination game and the Chiefs will lose

It is officially a loser leaves town game because I think the loser of that game is done, and I think the Chiefs are probably going to lose.

The Jaguars will beat the Seahawks and prove they are for real

I'm just going to call it right now. The Jaguars are going to beat the Seahawks at home. And then afterwards, you know what the big talk of the town is going to be? ... These Jags are for real.

The 2017-18 college basketball season is Duke's to lose

I think by the end of the year, they [Kentucky] can be good. But this year, it's Duke's to lose.

Kentucky's current freshmen are not good enough to go to the NBA and will all return

I honestly think this year's freshmen aren't good enough for to go to the NBA. That's what's weird about this group. But what that means is they're all going to come back.

Rick Pitino will lose his $38 million lawsuit against Louisville

Rick Pitino, he is suing Louisville for $38 million. Is he going to win? No.

I am giving up masturbation to get an edge for my upcoming fight

I've decided to give up masturbation. So for those who don't know, Hank is actually fighting. It's a real fight, Rough N Rowdy. December 15th. I need every edge I can get.

Baker Mayfield is going to win the Heisman Trophy

TMZ video... I think he's got probably a great shot at winning. I can't confirm or deny [my vote], but I think he's got probably a great shot at winning.

Oklahoma is the best team in college football right now

But I think Oklahoma is the best team right now. Baker Mayfield, they're a great man.

Lamar Jackson and Baker Mayfield will be drafted higher than people think

I think Lamar [Jackson] is going to get drafted higher than people think. I think Baker Mayfield is going to get drafted higher than people think.

Arizona State football is going to 'fucking suck' under Herm Edwards

Herm Edwards sucked when he was still a coach, and he hasn't coached for 10 years. And now he's going to go back to a college campus and coach. Arizona State football is going to fucking suck.

The Packers will run the table and make the playoffs when Aaron Rodgers returns

The Packers are definitely – I mean, they're going to run the table. Hey, Aaron Rodgers, remember when you created that? ... Run the table.

The Bills will finish 10-6 and make the playoffs

I'll go 10-6. Okay, that's a guarantee to the playoffs. Win a road game in New England. The curse has been broken. Yes, we're coming. You just beat us, but we're coming to your house, Brady.

Clemson is the best team in the country and will crush Alabama in the playoffs

I actually think Clemson's going to win it all. I think they're the best team. I think they're going to whoop the fuck out of Alabama, which is going to be hilarious because then you get the Ohio State fans being like, should have been us to get the whoop the fuck out of Clemson.

Tiger Woods is officially back, but he will never win another Major

Once [Tiger] is on the course and playing well, I can say, yeah, look, he looked good. He's back. I don't think he's ever going to win anything big again. But for right now, he's back.

The Dolphins +1.5 over the Broncos is a lock

I got the Dolphins. Plus one and a half. Jay Cutler's back. Yes, Mr. Fourth Quarter... Also big time revenge game against the Broncos.

The Chiefs -3 over the Jets is a lock

I think figuring out why the Chiefs are only minus three against the Jets gave me a concussion. So I think I'm going to have to take them and find out why.

Georgia will beat and cover against Auburn in the SEC Championship

I think that this week in Atlanta, where it's going to be a far friendlier environment for the Bulldogs, they're going to get back to the run game... So I really like Georgia in this one, not just to cover the two and a half, but just to win.

If Ohio State beats Wisconsin, Alabama will get the 4th playoff spot

If Ohio State beats Wisconsin, I think Alabama will get that spot. As long as Clemson beats Miami, Oklahoma beats TCU, and then it probably doesn't really matter what happens in the SEC title game.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship

I'm going with Wisconsin, man. 13-0 after this game, 13-0... I think Jonathan Taylor is a player, dog. Like, I like his game, bro.

James Franklin will eventually win a national championship at Penn State

He's beyond reproach... where people start just trusting him with a blind eye and say, take over this program and we know you're going to do the right thing. And I think that's going to pan out really well.

Eli Manning will go to Denver and win a Super Bowl

Here's my prediction. You ready for this? A Manning family tradition. Goes to Denver. Wins the Super Bowl.

Oklahoma will lose the Big 12 Championship Game

I honestly think Oklahoma's going to lose. That's going to be the havoc that's going to be wreaked on Saturday.

Bitcoin is the future and will replace physical money

You think that the dollar bill's in your pocket right now? You think they're going to last forever? You think money's going to last forever? Okay, so Bitcoin's the future, baby. There's not going to be money in the future. There's going to be Bitcoin.

The Chargers will win the AFC West

I'm going to tell you why they're [for real], because they're going to win the AFC West... you were saying that they would be the best team to not make the playoffs. Guess what? You were fucking wrong because they are going to make the playoffs.

The Steelers will throttle the Packers on Sunday Night Football

I think they will throttle the Packers. Put it in the books. It's a very safe shot to call. I bet minus 14, and I feel very confident in my bet.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State 27-17 in the Big Ten Championship

Obviously the Badgers are going to win... I think it's going to be 27-17.

Wisconsin will lose the Big Ten Championship in heartbreaking fashion because of Alex Hornibrook

One side of my brain says that Wisconsin has everything they need to win this game. The other side of my brain says Hornibrook's going to have to make four or five passes in key points... and he's not going to be able to. And we're going to lose in heartbreaking fashion.

The Vikings will be up 40 at halftime on the Lions for Thanksgiving

I think that Mike Zimmer is going to leave the game early because the Vikings are going to be up by 40 points at halftime. This is the time of the year where the wheels totally fall off the Lions. I'm rewinding myself to Thanksgiving of every year for the past six years. We've had Matt Stafford, and I've said the exact same thing.

The Cleveland Browns will run the table and make the playoffs

Cleveland Browns are still very much alive to make the playoffs. They run the table. They don't control their own destiny, though. Hey, Cleveland Browns fans, R-E-L-A-X. You're going to run the table. You'll be fine.