Takes

Baker Mayfield is a 'gangster' who will control the Browns' big personalities

Baker Mayfield is a gangster. He's not going to handle people trying to, me, me, me, I want the ball. He's going to put it where it needs to go, and he's going to control that locker room. Baker's different, man. He's special.

Marijuana is objectively a safer and better option for pain management than addictive opioids

[Marijuana] is probably better than the thing [opioids] that kills 70,000 people a year and was basically created by doctors and big health care to make a shitload of money at the expense of people getting hooked to very, very addictive drugs.

You will never win an argument online, so the best strategy is to never reply

Never reply online because you'll always lose. But if you do reply and you're going to be the reply guy, you might as well just go full reply all the time like Kevin Durant. There's no turning back the clock for Kevin Durant.

Direct messages on Twitter or Instagram officially count as 'texting' for reporting purposes

A text is a tweet, a DM, an Instagram DM, an Instagram comment... Broussard did the classic thing where... he says that Kevin Durant and he exchanged many DMs... he's not having it [the debate if a DM is a text]. It's all just a text now.

Drake is the worst for rubbing the coach's shoulders on the sideline

Drake is the worst. He is the star of the show up in Canada. So he was rubbing Nick Nurse's shoulders, giving him a little massage on the sidelines. You know what, Drake? You're from Canada. You should know better. It's like the Stanley Cup. You don't touch your coach's shoulders during a game until you win the title.

Steph Curry can be more of himself when the offense runs through him instead of Kevin Durant

Steph Curry, the Warriors are not better without Kevin Durant because a superstar gives you more flexibility and injuries and all that shit. But Steph Curry is certainly better and can be more Steph Curry without Kevin Durant. When the offense runs through him and basically he shoots the lights out and he gets into these rhythms that you can't stop him.

St. Louis Cardinals fans have been pieces of shit forever

The St. Louis-Chicago rivalry, St. Louis Cardinals fans have been pieces of shit forever with the way they treat Cubs. Best fans in baseball. Careful. Anyone who's listening right now is a Cardinals fan. They'll admit this. They made all the jokes. They said the Cubs would never win one.

It will be a letdown if the Bruins lose even one game to the Blues in the Stanley Cup Final

The Red Sox swept the Cardinals both times. I think the Bruins in the past when they played them swept the Blues. So it's like if they lose even one of the games in the Stanley Cup, that will be kind of a letdown.

Magic Johnson is a master of the media and spinning narratives

Can we just for a second note that Magic Johnson is a master of the media? Like, I know he's been getting dragged for a lot of things... but the guy can spin any spin zone. He went on First Take. He basically gets Stephen A. Smith on his side all like two hours before Rob Pelinka has to announce Frank Vogel as the new head coach and basically bringing up the fact that Frank Vogel was their sixth option. So Magic Johnson, hats off to you.

Blake Bortles has the leadership and experience to not flinch in big-time games

Jared and [Bortles] have a great relationship and anytime that you can get a guy like Blake where when you meet him... he's one of those guys, he's got a great demeanor where you're like, you know, this guy feels like a quarterback, a leader. Then you hear him a couple days out here just the way he commands a huddle you can see why his teammates believe in him... [He] has been in those types of games, in those atmospheres where you know he's not going to flinch.

I deserved the criticism for my coaching performance in Super Bowl LIII

I'm talking about the criticism of my coaching in the Super Bowl. I deserve it. ... I'd be lying if I said, you know, if things go a little off track, you probably have too many thoughts in your head and you would have a different rhythm. I don't necessarily know if you're working any less hard for the preparation, but, you know, Coach Belichick and the Patriots are, you know, they're the standard right now.

The Bosa family are made of silk because they are so injury prone

The Bosa family, they're kind of doofies, doofuses, doofi? ... If you did a 23andMe on the Bosa family jeans, it's like 15% Anglo-Saxon and then 85% silk. Torn hamstrings. They're just made out of silk. Their hamstrings are Ming vases.

Major League Baseball should allow Bartolo Colon to start one game for every team in a single season

Bartolo Colon is one of those guys that we should make a special rule where he should get to start one game for every single team for an entire season... Just call up, you get your Bartolo Colon game, and just pass him around, and he gets to play in every home stadium.

I am quitting juicing cold turkey this week

I've decided to quit juicing this week. So, juicing was becoming a real problem for me... and I'm going cold turkey this week.

We are definitely kingmakers because Brooks Koepka dominated after appearing on the show

We need to start the show with the question, are we kingmakers? I think definitely we are. Because Brooks Koepka just dominated the PGA Championship.

The Warriors are more fun to watch without Kevin Durant

The question now is, are the Warriors better without Kevin Durant? I think what you're seeing is they're more fun to watch without Kevin Durant. They are absolutely more fun to watch. They play a more interesting brand of basketball. Steph Curry is allowed to be Steph Curry.

Adam Gase is the most paranoid person in the world and hiring him is a massive mistake

One other high-level evaluator with a different team said that this is the biggest mistake anyone in the NFL has made in years. Gase is crazy. He's the most paranoid person in the world. This will be like Todd Haley on crack.

If Jon Snow told Grey Worm he killed Daenerys, Grey Worm would have killed him instantly

If Jon Snow told Grey Worm that he killed Daenerys, Grey Worm would have killed him. In a second. They didn't show any of that.

The Warriors are Draymond Green's team

The Warriors are a lot of fun to watch right now and I'm gonna say it it's Draymond's team... He had 16, 10, and 7 was everywhere. He is the heartbeat of the Warriors. He unlocks Steph Curry to score 37 points.

The Raptors 'wasted' a rare 30-point performance from Kyle Lowry by losing Game 1 to the Bucks

Kyle Lowry had 30 points. He was unconscious. And you wasted your Kyle Lowry game. You don't get a lot of those. Giannis didn't play well. The Bucks didn't play well for the first three quarters... And you still somehow lose by eight points.

I do not count my 2017 NBA Championship as earned

To be honest with you, I really don't count that championship... I got hurt going into the playoffs... and I'm always someone that like, I've never been given anything. So to me, I always wanted to earn it. And I felt like because I wasn't out there, you know, on the court with my guys sweating and fighting that it was kind of really just it was given to me.

Baron Davis would be one of the all-time greats if he had stayed healthy

Best all-around point guard I ever played with, Baron Davis. When he's healthy, no question. If Baron Davis would have had a healthy career, he'd be talked about as one of the greats. There's no question about that.

Kevin Durant is the best player in the world

Kevin Durant to me is the best player in the world right now and will probably go down as one of the most efficient, effective offensive players we've ever seen.

The Bulls should re-sign Jimmy Butler so they can return to being 'mediocrely shitty'

I kind of want the Bulls to re-sign Jimmy Butler so they can just be mediocrely shitty again. It'd be kind of funny. Get out of the lottery for the next 10 years... Just go back in time. To move to exactly where you were, which is second round losing in a five-game series.

Colin Cowherd is a 'loser' for trolling Odell Beckham Jr. while secretly rooting for him in private texts

That's a funny way to root for somebody. To just trash them? ... So he turned it into a game show of how many things he can name about Odell Beckham that don't include him rooting for him... Colin Cowherd, I just used your words against you, you loser.

Tanking is officially dead in the NBA

The NBA draft lottery... Tanking is over. Turns out Nate Silver is full of shit. Pelicans had the ninth best odds, they get the number one pick. Grizzlies had the eighth best odds, they get the two pick. The Knicks had the first best odds, they get the three pick. And the Lakers had the 11th best odds, they get the four pick. Tanking is over.

Nobody wants to find out what New York sports fans are like when the Knicks are actually good

I don't know what New Yorkers are like when the Knicks are really, really good. And I don't think that anybody wants to find out.

The Bulls are stuck in basketball hell getting the seventh pick three years in a row

The Bulls get the seventh pick... it fucking sucks. And I'm just sick of it... I don't know how you get the seventh pick three years in a row. It just sucks because the Bulls are just stuck forever, and it's just going to be the same shit over and over and over again.

NCAA Football is the greatest video game of all time

NCAA video game is back. Well, maybe back. NCAA formed a committee to bring back the NCAA football game. And this is the greatest news I think that has ever happened in my life. Because that game is the best game ever.

NCAA Football is the best video game ever and much better than Madden

Best game ever. It really is. It really is. Better than Madden. I enjoyed playing NCAA football more than Madden.

Madden has become too realistic and is no longer fun to play

Madden got too hard. Madden got too hard in the last few years and it just didn't get fun. Everything was too realistic. Ever since the passing cone, really.

I have half the field beat mentally in majors because most golfers can't handle a tough course

It's easier when it's tough. You already know you got half the guys beat mentally, they can't play the course. And then the other ones just mentally can't hang. And so you only got to beat a few.

I don't watch golf when I'm away from the course

I'll be honest, I don't watch it. I don't watch it when I'm away from it... If I was going to watch anything, I'd watch Augusta and all the majors. But other than that, I'd much rather be watching basketball late night.

Golf courses should be shortened to 14 or 15 holes to be more fun

How do you speed up the game? Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes... Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker... It gets boring from like hole 5 to 12. You're just like, where am I right now?

Golfers wear metal spikes just to hear the clicking sound on concrete

I don't wear the spikes... soft spikes. [Some] guys wear the metal ones. I have no idea why. I think it's just to hear the click clack when they're walking over concrete... to make them feel like athletes.

Hannah B. is a bad Bachelorette because she cried too much in the first episode

I'm not a Hannah B fan whatsoever, so I would grade it like a C. The season's going to be tough. If you're the Bachelorette and you cry over the first guy, it's like you're the Bachelorette, you have 30 guys. One guy fucks you over, you're supposed to kick him to the curb and move on.

Kawhi Leonard is a killer

Kawhi Leonard is a motherfuckin' killer. He is. He's a killer.

Brett Brown is not the right coach for the 76ers

I don't think Brett Brown is the guy because, like I said, three shot clock violations. I think one of them might have been a block on Jimmy Butler... He did a good job with a young team bringing him along. But when you lose like they did last year and then lose this year, I feel like you have to change at least something.

Damian Lillard has a 'winner's face'

He's got a winner's chin. Have you ever seen that thing? If I'm doing the old school facial recognition, like this guy's a winner, this guy's not, Damian Lillard, he's got a winner's face.

I prefer watching women's soccer over men's soccer because the U.S. actually wins.

I actually like watching women's soccer better than men's soccer because we actually win in women's soccer.

James Harden definitively lacks the clutch gene

Now we finally have a guy who we can say lacks the clutch gene. Definitively. He and Chris Paul. No clutch gene between the two of them.

I would want Robert Horry taking a last-second shot over Kobe Bryant

[Big Cat asks: Who would you rather have taking that last shot?] Robert. Robert, yeah, Big Shot Bob. Big Shot Bob. There was never any doubt at the end of the game. He could have three points that game, and he had the ball, he was going to make it.

Jason Kidd is a bad coach

I don't understand what the Lakers are doing. Their obsession with Jason Kidd is very bizarre. Jason Kidd is a bad coach. He's a bad coach.

I am officially 'Team Targaryen' and defend Daenerys' actions as a battle tactic

I want the Targaryens to be ruling at the end... You show up for battle, you've got to fucking battle... If a team against Alabama is getting blown out, they're not just going to quit halfway through the game. You don't take a knee in the third quarter.

Daenerys Targaryen has officially turned into the 'Mad King' and is exactly like her father.

This is exactly why the Mad King was the Mad King. He wanted to blow up the entire King's Landing... She did what her dad was trying to do, kill all the innocent people. She murdered everyone... History repeats itself. Targaryens are assholes and they blow everyone up.

James Harden has consistently disappeared in the fourth quarters of the 2019 Rockets-Warriors series.

James Harden on Wednesday night with 10:47 left, he hits a bucket. He shot one more shot until there's 18 seconds left in the game... The Rockets win game four, James Harden scores 38 points... [but] he scores three points after that, the Warriors come all the way back. That's two straight fourth quarters where James Harden, Jimmy Harden has kind of been nowhere to be seen.

The Celtics should not re-sign Kyrie Irving and instead let the asset walk.

I feel like I don't care what's going on with the team during the year. Lose that asset. It's all about the assets... for [Kyrie Irving] to do what he did in the playoffs it's like Brad Stevens' problem.

Brad Stevens was labeled a 'genius' by the media far too early in his career.

Brad Stevens' biggest issue is that he was inaugurated a genius too early. Like he was called a genius basically from winning nothing... the national media had him as, like, Pop.

Brad Stevens is still a top-three coach in the NBA despite the Celtics' struggles.

I still think Brad Stevens is probably top three coach in the league. And then there's the whole part of managing egos.

Modern baseball players lifting heavy weights leads to more oblique and muscle injuries compared to the past.

Aaron Judge, someone wrote an article that said it's because they lift too many weights... Baseball players look like linebackers... I personally [think it has something to do with higher injury], yeah, with all the obliques and stuff like that.