Takes

Bill Belichick's girlfriend being copied on all North Carolina emails is a sign of shadow coaching

Belichick is telling all the North Carolina officials to copy his girlfriend on any emails that they send him... she's apparently very smart philosopher, right? He's asking his bosses to copy her on all the emails... Is she the shadow coach at UNC?

Steve Sarkisian will be on the hot seat if Texas loses the Red River Showdown

Sark definitely could be on the hot seat if he loses this game [Red River Showdown]. [PFT: You think so?] I mean they've they've they played Alabama close then they lose to Texas Tech if they lose to if they lose to Oklahoma, people are gonna start asking questions.

Coach K is the biggest front-running fraud of all time

Coach K is the biggest front-running fraud of all time. Not to brag, but we called it. It was a one game. Hank, they lost to Michigan State. They got killed by Illinois. And then Coach K said, we got to reassess and start really thinking about this COVID thing.

Flavored 'Water for Dogs' is a billion-dollar business idea

I came up with a billion dollar idea maybe quadrillion or trillion dollar idea: its water for dogs... why not a little flavored water for your dog? So you can either go with the Savory option and have it be like a bacon flavored water or bone broth water.

LeBron James should go to jail for giving his kids wine

Hot take, LeBron James should definitely go to jail, and this is the worst parenting move of all time, and I cannot believe that he is poisoning his children. I'm disgusted. I deleted my screensaver of LeBron James in a Lakers uniform, and I'll probably never watch NBA again.

The 'Green Zone' on-field graphic will save the NFL's TV ratings

Breaking moves. I think the NFL has figured out how to save their ratings in their league. The green zone. It's a new feature they rolled out tonight. It's on third downs. It shows you how far players will have to go at any point during the play to get a first down.

Trevor Bauer is the dumbest player in Major League Baseball

What it basically amounts to is Trevor Bauer is the dumbest player in Major League Baseball, possibly sports... Trevor Bauer got spooked by a fake tweet in 2011 that Obama was going to take his fighting necklaces and confiscate them.

There is an oversaturation of dogs on social media

I'm getting on the borderline of getting sick of the oversaturation of dogs on Twitter.

Pat Riley is going to die soon because he's spending 10 days writing a single email

Pat Riley's going to die soon. ... Dwayne Wade thing pretty hard. And he said, ... Pat hasn't spoken to Dwayne post decision yet. He said, I've been crafting a very long email to him. He's been writing an email for like 10 days now. I feel like that's the end. When you're just sitting there with an open Word document and he's like, don't bother me.

Grit has been co-opted and ruined by Harvard researchers and psychologists

I've seen over the past, like two years, the pussification of grit in America. Like grit has been co-opted by Harvard researchers, by doctors, by psychologists... It's people trying to teach grit. People who have like a silver spoon in their mouths, a doctor in front of their name, trying to tell me what it means to be gritty.