PMT DB
PMT DB
Mark Schlereth on NFL Grittiness, Pissing Pants, and Cam Newton
Week 15 is in the books and the playoff picture is getting muddier by the second. While most people are worried about ratings, Big Cat and PFT are focused on the important things, like the greatness of backup quarterbacks. PFT is all-in on Matt Moore after the Dolphins' performance, while Big Cat has found a new savior in Chicago.
PFT CommenterMatt Moore is the truth
I think Matt Moore is the truth. Did you see him? He was having so much fun out there.
Beyond the NFL, the guys are gearing up for the biggest event in sports history: The Barstool Sports presents Pardon My Take presents the Wet the Beak Ponzi Scheme Awareness Boca Raton Bowl. It involves Facebook Live, intern wrestling, and educating the elderly on financial scams. It’s basically everything the CFP wishes it could be.
Who’s Back and Football Guys
Death is back after the crew visited a funeral home, and the world of front-office transactions is heating up. PFT is ready for the league to start treating every member of the organization like a tradable asset, not just the players.
PFT CommenterNFL coach, beat reporter, and super fan trades should be more common
I love any non-athlete trade, and there needs to be more of them. ... I think it should be expanded to beat reporters. ... I want to see super fans getting traded.
They also took a shot at the nerds who spend their Sundays looking at line graphs of win probabilities. PFT reminded everyone that the soul of the game doesn't live in a spreadsheet.
PFT CommenterNumbers and analytics are ruining sports
Numbers ruin sports. You made us all robots. Sports was great when it was just men grunting at each other, and there was no number for how much pain you're playing through.
For Football Guy of the Week, Andy Reid made a strong case by putting hand warmers under his hat. However, Neil deGrasse Tyson entered the "Football Nerd" Hall of Fame for tweeting that football is holding back human progress like flying cars. PFT pointed out that football basically invented the flying car via the Skycam.
PFT CommenterNeil deGrasse Tyson's only job is to tweet nerd shit
By the way, you know what Neil's job is? Just to tweet nerd shit. To just look at stars, right? His job is to stand inside a planetarium with a laser pointer.
Stink Joins the Program
Mark Schlereth, also known as Stink, joined the office to give the perspective of a man who has had 29 surgeries and zero regrets. He didn't hold back on what happens to players once the cleats are hung up, noting that the "identity" of an NFL player is a fleeting thing.
Mark SchlerethRetiring NFL players lose their identity and are quickly forgotten
Very few people are going to remember that you played and even less are going to care once you retire. ... your identity better not come from playing football because your identity will be taken eventually or your career will be over eventually.
Schlereth detailed his transition into broadcasting and the business world, including his green chili and t-shirt companies. He also shared some insight on the Shanahan coaching tree and how the elder Shanahan might return to the sidelines.
Mark SchlerethKyle Shanahan will get a head coaching job and Mike Shanahan will be his consultant
I think what will happen is his son, Kyle Shanahan, will get a coaching job somewhere, and he'll go with Kyle to be a consultant.
Stink’s career was defined by playing through agony, and he isn't exactly sympathetic to modern players who don't show that same grit. He flunked multiple physicals with teams like the Bears and Falcons before landing in Denver, where he proved the doctors wrong.
Mark SchlerethNFL free agents always have a fatal flaw
if you hit the free agent market, you've got some fatal flaw. Right? You're either an attitude issue [or] an injury issue. ... The Redskins said, you can't play anymore. You're so injured, you can't play anymore. And I flunked three physicals.
One of the best moments was the debate over Jay Cutler’s infamous NFC Championship exit. Big Cat tried to defend his guy, but Schlereth wasn't having it, calling him "Mopey McMoperson."
Mark SchlerethJay Cutler should have played through his injury in the 2010 NFC Championship Game
You had a chance to win that game. ... Show me anybody who gets injured in a game of that magnitude, you still have a chance. ... And he's sitting on the bench, Mopey McMoperson over there. ... You'd have to drag me off the field at that point.
Before letting him go, Stink provided some life-changing advice on how to pick the perfect apple, which apparently involves a lot of sniffing.
Mark SchlerethIf an apple smells like apples, do not buy it
If it smells appley, do not take that apple. If it smells appley, it's soft. It's like apple sauce. If it has no smell, then it's crisp and firm, and that's the apple you want.
That's Enough Internet for Today
Segments included a very classy look at the Steelers-Bengals rivalry and a "Respect the Biz" for the reporter who got yelled at by DeMarcus Cousins. The show wrapped up with the debut of a new segment, "That's Enough Internet for Today," featuring a Cosmopolitan headline that involves fruit and parts of the body that fruit should never visit.
Stay safe out there, especially the homeless population of Minneapolis. Psych.
