PMT DB
PMT DB
Buzz Williams on 'Quit Cussin', the Grindiest Resume, and Friday Brain Dump
Baseball is officially back, which means for the next week, we all pretend to care about 162 games of regular season action before forgetting it exists until July. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are already in mid-season form with the overreactions, looking at pace-of-play stats after exactly one day of data.
PFT CommenterThe MLB is on pace for a Subway Series this fall
For a second, it occurred to me that we're on pace for a Subway Series this fall. Because the Yankees look really good.
While PFT is already booking hotel rooms for a New York championship, Big Cat spent the morning beefing with the technology that claims to know exactly how hard a ball was hit. Apparently, his internal radar is just as accurate as the expensive cameras.
Big CatStatCast is a fraud because they just guess the numbers
I fucking hate you, StatCast, you fraud bitch. Exit velocity 117 miles per hour, which honestly doesn't sound like it's that fast. Someone asked me a stat cast today for, I think it was Ian Happ or maybe Rizzo's home run, and I did not look, and I was like one mile per hour off from the actual stat cast. So that is why they are frauds. They just guess.
Hank, however, isn't feeling the magic. Being a Red Sox fan living in New York is already a grind, but the immediate ascension of Yankees fans to their most insufferable form has him ready to skip straight to football season. Big Cat tried to provide some perspective on why the excitement fades as you get older.
Big CatYou can't live and die on every pitch once you get past the age of 18
You can't live and die on every pitch once you get past the age of 18. ... It's just life. Life eventually beats you down. ... You haven't been excited about a lot of things recently [to Hank].
San Antonio Bound
The Final Four is here, and the guys are heading to San Antonio to see if Sister Jean’s magic can hold up against the blue bloods. PFT is mostly interested in the potential for maximum fan misery, specifically targeting the Michigan faithful who have been waiting to be "back" for years.
PFT CommenterMichigan is the 'Texas of football' in college basketball and I want to see their fans cry
Michigan is number one. Because that fan base, there are some tears to be had there. They're kind of like the Texas of football. Michigan has been teetering on being back for a while. I think this is the year that they're officially cemented as being back. But if they get that taken away from them immediately, that would be great.
Big Cat, on the other hand, is leaning into his own bad luck. He’s been ice cold on the gambling front lately, but that isn't stopping him from backing the teams the rest of the world is writing off.
Big CatI love Loyola Chicago and Kansas as Final Four underdogs even though I've been ice cold
I have talked myself into both underdogs. So if you are looking to fade me because I've been ice cold, I love Loyola Chicago and I love Kansas. I think both are getting a little bit written off. I think everyone in their head has Villanova versus Michigan as their final game.
Friday Brain Dump
Friday Brain Dump made its glorious return with some of the most “aggressively ignorant” ideas to ever grace the airwaves. Big Cat pitched a move into the styrofoam cup and plastic bag industry, arguing that there is a massive market for people who miss sturdy, non-environmentally friendly containers. He followed that up with a political play involving a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Big CatI'm starting a Prussian bot farm to brainwash America into being aggressively moderate
What about Prussian bots? ... They'd be centrist. Yeah, like super, super centrist and try to brainwash America to vote for, I don't know, Mitt Romney. ... Let's get a Prussian bot that gets Mitt Romney back in—I like it. Romney, Lincoln Chafee, 2020.
PFT turned his focus to the banking industry, wondering why his app won't just tell him how much money he's wasting on 15-year-old subscriptions to dead websites. He also suggested a radical change to the sport of baseball that would involve pitchers doing their own cardio after every throw.
PFT CommenterMLB doesn't need a catcher for the first two strikes if no one is on base
Why for like the first two strikes of a batter, if there's nobody on base, do you really need a catcher back there? ... It would fuck the batter up, and it would also throw off the timing because the pitcher would just throw the ball, and then he'd have to walk and go get the ball that he just threw.
Buzz Williams
Virginia Tech head coach Buzz Williams joined the show and immediately proved he is one of the grittiest humans on the planet. Buzz detailed his early days in coaching, which involved writing over 400 letters a week to coaches across the country and charming mailroom ladies into letting him use their stamps for free. He also addressed the viral moment where he grabbed a microphone to tell his own fans to "quit cussin" during a game against Duke.
Beyond the grit, Buzz is known for his legendary sideline sweat. He confirmed that the physical toll of coaching is real, right down to his wardrobe choices.
Buzz WilliamsStress makes your neck wider
I read a quote that you [Buzz] said you think stress makes your neck wider. Is that true? [Buzz:] Yeah. I got the widest neck possible then.
He also gave a peak into his philosophy of being a "truth-teller" in a world that he thinks is getting a little too soft. He calls it having more salt than sugar.
Buzz WilliamsThere is too much sugar in the world and not enough salt (truth-tellers)
There's not a lot of truth tellers in the world anymore. And so sometimes instead of saying the entire truth, people say a portion of the truth and then try to say something maybe that's kind of sweet so it's not offensive... There's a little too much sugar, and sometimes it doesn't have to be sugar. We just need to tell the truth.
The Blog Boys Strike Back
To wrap things up, the guys addressed Kevin Durant calling out "blog boys" on a recent podcast. Big Cat pointed out the irony of a superstar athlete getting triggered by people on the internet, especially when that superstar is known for using burner accounts to defend his honor.
{{take:1:0}}
Finally, the show closed with some long-overdue explanations for Hank, covering everything from why 11 PM feels later than 12 PM to the biological reality of how super-athletes are made.
PFT CommenterA child's athleticism depends on how 'athletic' the sex was at conception
I think it has more to do with how athletic the sex was when you actually were conceived. So if you're in a weird position, if you got like a leg up on a table, you're both sweating a lot, then you're going to have a really, really fast baby.
If you see a Prussian bot tweeting about Lincoln Chafee this weekend, you know who to thank.
