PMT DB
PMT DB
Dan Haren on Juiced Balls, Laker Heartbreak, and the Art of the Crafty Righty
The vibes are high on this Wednesday show as we navigate the post-Home Run Derby landscape. Big Cat and PFT are still buzzing from the absolute show put on in Cleveland, specifically by the thickest lad in the game, Vlad Guerrero Jr. Even though he didn't technically walk away with the trophy, his performance was the stuff of legends.
Big CatVlad Guerrero Jr. should be in every single Home Run Derby for the rest of time
I want Vlad Guerrero in every single home run derby for the rest of time. He is electric... if you watch Vlad Guerrero take any of his practice swings like a week ago, you knew that he was going to be a show. You knew he was going to be awesome to watch.
PFT was quick to point out that while Pete Alonso technically won the million-dollar prize, history might remember things a little differently. It was a classic case of winning the battle but losing the aggregate war of hearts and minds.
PFT CommenterPete Alonso winning the 2019 Home Run Derby will be a Slumdog Millionaire trivia question because Vlad Jr. dominated the aggregate
In about five years, you're going to be asked who won this home run derby. Just remember, it was Pete Alonso. I'm giving you money right now... [Vlad Jr.] didn't win the derby itself because of the way that they reset when you go into the final round.
The War on Rouben Sandwiches
Before getting into the meat of the show, Big Cat and PFT had to address a developing turf war between our very own intern, Jake Marsh (aka PMT Sports Biz), and the king of the 'well actually,' Darren Rovell. The conflict? A Reuben sandwich at the All-Star game. Jake scooped Rovell on the ingredients, leading to a classic Rovellian meltdown over spelling and social media platforms. It’s peak July content, and frankly, the kind of investigative journalism Jake was hired for.
Dan Haren Joins the Program
Future Hall of Famer and one of our favorite recurring guests, Dan Haren, joined us to talk about his life as a Diamondbacks staffer and a suffering Lakers fan. Dan didn't hold back on his thoughts regarding the NBA offseason, specifically the Lakers' failure to land Kawhi Leonard. He’s skeptical of the current roster construction and who actually runs the show in Hollywood.
Dan HarenThe Lakers are Anthony Davis' team, not LeBron James'
I mean, it's Anthony Davis' team. LeBron... you know, I wasn't a huge fan of the whole LeBron thing in the first place, and he was all right last year... I'd rather have Kawhi than LeBron, obviously.
Moving to the diamond, Dan weighed in on the hottest debate in baseball: the juiced balls. As a guy who built a career on precision, he’s not buying the official denials from the commissioner’s office. He also reflected on the dying breed of the 'crafty righty' in an era where everyone is chasing 100 mph and launch angles.
Dan HarenI was one of the last 'crafty righties' in Major League Baseball
The type of pitcher that I was is just completely gone now. Like, there's not too many guys. I mean, there's a few like crafty lefties, but very few crafty righties. I was one of the last crafty righties. That's for sure.
Dan HarenMLB baseballs are definitely juiced and it's stupid to deny it
Well, there's absolutely I mean, there's something different I don't think any I mean Manfred's the only guy that's denying this but i mean they're on pace record pace for homers... there's no doubt. I mean, it's juiced. I can't believe they keep denying it.
We also touched on the growth of analytics in the clubhouse. While some old-school guys might resist, Dan explained that the results eventually speak for themselves, even if it changes how the game is played on a fundamental level.
Dan HarenAnalytics actually work and players eventually buy in when they see the results
I think people were opposed to it at first, and then guys realized how much it works... when analytics was first a thing, guys didn't want to buy it, and now they see how much it works, and you can just see it.
Mount Rushmore of Positions
Mount Rushmore season continues with a very open-ended look at positions. PFT came out strong with "Lying Down" and "Fullback," while Big Cat opted for "Quarterback" and the controversial "Reclining." Hank, true to form, tried to draft "Second-born Prince" and "Bench Coach," further cementing his status as a guy who wants all the perks of success with none of the pressure of driving the bus.
Things took a turn for the physiological when Big Cat introduced a very specific technique for when your body is backed up and needs a release.
Big CatIf you have a stubborn fart, you should get on all fours like a dog to release it
You know when you've got to really fart bad and you can't and you get on all fours? That's a good position... Someday my son's going to come out and be like, well, dad, why are you on the floor? I got to fart. Son, this is how we fart.
Jilly Football and Guys on Chicks
To wrap things up, we had a special Wednesday appearance from Jilly Football. She gave us her perspective on the Bachelorette drama involving Hannah B. and the infamous Luke P. Jilly was surprisingly supportive of Hannah’s decision to expand the fantasy suite roster, viewing it as a veteran move in the game of love.
Jilly FootballThe Bachelorette having four fantasy suite dates instead of three is a smart life hack
Hannah couldn't decide who to give the final rose to... so she gave them both a rose, which means Hannah will have four fantasy suite dates instead of three... She just hacked the bachelorette by having more sex. She was like i realized that i could get more laid than other bachelorettes
Jilly also didn't mince words when it came to the Home Run Derby field, specifically taking aim at Christian Yelich's physique compared to the big boys who actually showed up to mash.
Jilly FootballChristian Yelich is not a true home run hitter because he's too skinny
Yellich sucks. He's not good enough to win a home run derby. I still, even a year later, even though he's, like, got 31 home runs or whatever. He doesn't have a home run swing. No, he does not. He's too skinny.
Make sure to tune in Friday for the Takeys, the most prestigious award show in sports media.
See you on the other side of the most star-studded event of the year.
