Dana White, Mike O'Malley, And The NBA's Motel 6

I actually enjoy staying at a Motel 6

I'm not here for the Motel 6 slander, by the way. I enjoy a good Motel 6. You're not getting any frills. I'm more of a Red Roof Inn guy, but I just like hotels. You just go in, you run the hot shower, get that hot water going for 30 minutes at a time.

NBA players are self-deputizing as Karens in the bubble

It's not the journalists that are doing it. It's actually the players. The players have self-deputized as Karens. I actually want every NBA player should get a Yelp account and I want to read their Yelp reviews of the hotel afterwards.

The Ivy League canceling sports will force every other conference to follow suit

I don't know how any of this is going to work. And I guess that segues to college football feels like we're in a bad spot and fuck the Ivy League again. They started it. As soon as they canceled I was like this is gonna get everyone because the smartest guys in the room are like, 'hey, we don't think it's safe' and everyone else feels pressure.

Clemson will get left out of a conference-only playoff

I am hoping so badly that Clemson gets left out. It would be the takes that Dabo would come out with at that point. He might just secede the ACC from the rest of the entire NCAA.

College football will ultimately play a spring season

I think we're going to play a spring season. If I had to guess right now. It does feel like one of those let's delay it, delay it, delay it and then we'll say spring season.

The NFL banning jersey swaps is pure PR and makes no sense

I also love the NFL being like 'we're not going to do jersey swaps.' Mmm. Thank you. You know, you're hitting each other for three hours, standing next to each other, getting in a pile. But if you try to fucking jersey swap... that was PR 101, that was a fake-ass move by them.

Calcio Storico makes all other sports look lame

I went into this being like 'this might make rugby look bad' and then I went out of it being like it makes every sport look bad because every sport is just lame compared to this. It's just Fight Club with a scoring element. It really does make all other sports just like... hockey guys are going to watch this and be like, 'whoops, we thought we were the tough sport.'

I thought the police were defunded so I could speed 89 in a 55

I got a really bad feeling, I got a speeding ticket. Turns out there was a speeding camera that caught me... I thought they defunded the police. I actually was like, 'no police.' I read the news, they defunded these guys. I'm good.

I could complete a pass in the NFL if given four downs

I think I could complete a pass if it was maybe to Edelman and he takes two steps. It's a wide receiver screen... I'm talking about like a Jet Sweep type thing where the it's just about the timing and you get the ball and you just pop it in front of you.

Mike Tyson would easily beat LeBron James in a boxing match

If it's in his prime, that's the dumbest argument of all time. Mike Tyson would fucking crush LeBron James. I don't care how tall LeBron is. Hand speed, everything. LeBron can't get hit. He would flop out of the ring.

I am not an NFL caliber kicker unless I make a team

I'm definitely not an NFL caliber guy. I know that... I am not an NFL caliber kicker unless I make an NFL team, at which point I am an NFL caliber kicker. There is zero part of my brain that thinks that I'm a professional caliber kicker... half a percent.