PMT DB
PMT DB
Paul Bissonnette and Ryan Whitney on NHL Playoffs and NBA Bashing
The NBA Playoffs are in full swing, but the real story isn't the box score; it's the Manalytics. Big Cat and PFT are fully leaning into the eye test, specifically how the Celtics are out-manning the Cavs at every turn. While the analytics might say one thing, the Manalytics tell us that Terry Rozier is a certified dog and the Cavs' supporting cast has a rating of zero.
Big CatI am a full-blown Manalytics guy now
I have to say, boys, I hate to do it, but I'm going to give a little hat tip to Colin Cowherd. Because I am a full-blown Manalytics guy now. It's all Manalytics in the playoffs.
Even with the Celtics looking like the much better unit, there's the looming shadow of LeBron James. Big Cat compares him to Aaron Rodgers—no matter how dead the team looks, you expect a Hail Mary. However, after a Game 2 where LeBron looked legitimately dazed, PFT is convinced there's more to the story than just a bad loss.
PFT CommenterLeBron James got a concussion in Game 2
I'm going to LeBron stand for real for a second because I think he did get a concussion. I think he did get knocked out. He got clipped on the jaw pretty good. He was definitely dinged up. He looked off when he first came back.
Beyond the concussion theories, the guys are looking at the mental state of the King. Between J.R. Smith’s dirty plays and a roster that can't hit a barn door, LeBron might be looking for the nearest exit sign.
Big CatLeBron James might just quit on the Cavs
LeBron definitely is not close, but he's definitely got in his mind, like, I might just quit on these bums. Like, these guys stink. And, like, what do you even tell LeBron when you go, J.R. Smith went 0 for 7.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
The legalization of gambling dominated the headlines, but Big Cat found a bittersweet angle to the news. While everyone is celebrating, he's mourning the eventual loss of the degenerate's most important relationship: the one with their bookie.
Big CatLegalized gambling will eventually end the relationship with personal bookies
My first hot seat is your bookie... gambling is legal. I don't think anyone's going to lose their bookie overnight. I think it's going to be probably like a decade, but at some point the bookie relationship will be something of the past. And that's very sad.
Meanwhile, PFT took Adam Silver to task. Despite Silver's reputation as the "cool" commissioner, his recent decision to involve the authorities over some mean emails has PFT questioning his street cred.
PFT CommenterAdam Silver is a narc for reporting email threats to the police
Adam Silver, he turns out he's a narc... Everyone thought that Adam Silver was the cool commissioner. But if he's so cool, how come he called the police on the guy that threatened to murder him? And had him arrested.
In a lighter segment of Hot Seat, the state of Wisconsin officially cemented its legacy. According to recent data, the Dairy State is home to seven of the top ten drunkest cities in the country, a feat that earned them PFT’s highest honor.
PFT CommenterWisconsin cities are the Mount Rushmore of drunks
USA Today ranked the top 10 drunkest cities in America... seven [were from Wisconsin]. Green Bay is number one, Eau Claire, Appleton, Madison. They have all four of the top four. They are the Mount Rushmore of drunks.
Hockey Guys in Studio
Paul Bissonnette and Ryan Whitney from Spittin' Chicklets joined the show to provide some much-needed hockey expertise, though it mostly devolved into them bashing the NBA and sharing incredible locker room stories. Ryan Whitney didn't hold back on the modern NBA, calling out the theatrical nature of the league compared to the NHL.
Ryan WhitneyThe NBA is a show where players stay down after contact so people can take pictures of them
LeBron, he caught a pinky to the side of the head today. So he stayed down for 45 minutes, make sure everyone could take a picture of him. And then he went in the locker room five minutes later. It's a show. Probably liked a couple pictures on Instagram and then was like, all right, everyone knows I'm out.
Biz Nasty brought some legendary "rumors" to the table, specifically regarding how high-end Russian players like Ovechkin and Malkin operate when they head back home. Apparently, the perks of being a Russian superstar involve more than just fame.
Paul BissonnetteVladimir Putin hands out unlimited credit cards to high-end Russian hockey players
I've just heard some rumblings, and it's been confirmed by a few guys that, like, Putin basically hands out credit cards to all these high-end Russian hockey players like Malkin and Ovechkin. Where basically they could just go, like if you say they want to pop bottles one night, they just go, they just put it on the Russian credit card.
Despite the NHL's growth, Whitney admitted that the current success of the Vegas Golden Knights might be making some veteran GMs look incompetent. He pointed out that while it's great for the fans, it's a nightmare for front offices who have spent decades failing to build what Vegas did in a summer.
Ryan WhitneyAn expansion team like the Golden Knights winning the Cup in their first year is a bad look for the NHL
The one thing you make sense is it's not a great look for the NHL in a sense that— Right... every GM around the league is like, all right, this team's lighting it up. Like, my owner's going to be like, why the fuck isn't your team good?
Before the interview wrapped, Biz attempted the impossible: reading an actual ad without stumbling. It was a Herculean effort that involved Big Cat standing over his shoulder like a tutor, but Biz managed to navigate the "minimalism" of MVMT watches without a total breakdown.
PR 101 and Guys on Chicks
Robinson Cano's 80-game suspension for a "masking agent" led to a masterclass in PR spin. Big Cat noted the incredible timing of Cano's injury and his subsequent positive test, suggesting the hustle to the pharmacy was his most athletic move of the season.
Big CatRobinson Cano took steroids specifically to heal his broken wrist faster
He broke his wrist like a week ago, and now he has... That was pretty quick of him to do steroids for the recovery. Got to admire the hustle. That's Andy Pettitte-like hustle to the pharmacy.
To wrap things up, the guys helped a listener struggling with a boyfriend who hits the gym but keeps the weight on. Big Cat provided some veteran insight into the "workout reward" cycle that keeps many a man in "Thick Cat" territory.
Big CatDiet is more important than working out for weight loss
It's no secret when people say it's actually not about working out, it's about the diet, because what happens is... because I went to the gym, I was like, I can eat anything I want. And then I ate way worse than I normally would have.
If you find yourself hearing Laurel instead of Yanni, just remember that the internet is a dark place designed to destroy your productivity.
