PMT DB
PMT DB
JJ Watt on the Cabin, NFL Return, and Settling the Beef
The day has finally arrived. After months of gamesmanship, anonymous life-saving donations, and the "Uh Hey JJ" movement, Big Cat and PFT Commenter finally sat down with JJ Watt. The podcast was literally coming from inside the log cabin. Before the main event, the guys touched on the conclusion of the Mayweather-McGregor circus. While the press tour got dark, Big Cat was more focused on the physical toll the tour took on the UFC president.
Big CatDana White is looking bloated and out of shape
Dana White, a story that's not being talked about, he's looking pretty fat. Like he's bloated. I don't know. Maybe that those billions that he got has gone to his head... standing takes so much effort. Standing is not fun for guys who are overweight, and he's like, I'm going to lean all my body weight on this podium because I cannot stand up anymore.
They also checked in on Billy Football, who is currently in a "bulking phase." Billy decided to share his medical expertise regarding raw eggs and the immunity it provides, much to the horror of everyone else in the room.
Billy FootballSalmonella is like the chicken pox; once you get it once, you can never get it again
No, because if you get salmonella, then you don't have to worry about getting it again so you can eat cookie dough and stuff. Nope, [you] don't have to worry about it.
Who’s Back and Mount Rushmore of Friends
Who’s Back of the Week featured Ryan Lochte getting his charges dropped, the Cubs making a run, and Magic Johnson tweeting about "his" Dodgers. PFT is also fully bought in on Lonzo Ball after a few Summer League performances.
PFT CommenterLonzo Ball playing well in Summer League means the Showtime Lakers are back
The Lakers are back. Oh! The Lake Show is back. So Lonzo Ball's been playing pretty well in the Summer League, and so that can only mean one thing, and that's the Showtime Lakers are back.
Big Cat, however, noticed a trend with the MLB's brightest young star. He predicted the Aaron Judge Home Run Derby curse before it even began, and now the stats are starting to back him up.
Big CatThe Aaron Judge slump is caused by participating in the Home Run Derby
The Aaron Judge, did he fuck up his swing, is fully back. He's like one for 14 right now. I think we called that before the home run derby even started, right?
For the Mount Rushmore of types of friends, the guys covered all the bases. They discussed the friend with the boat, the friend who is a lawyer (regardless of what kind of law they actually practice), and the "planner" who secretly loves the power trip. Billy added his perspective as a recent high school grad, highlighting the "rich friend" who has all the gear and the car that the whole squad latches onto.
JJ Watt Part 1
The guys sat down with the Texans superstar in his rustic log cabin, which Big Cat was quick to point out is actually a massive, beautiful estate. JJ was a great sport about the "Uh Hey JJ" movement, admitting that while it was annoying at first, he eventually saw the humor in fans finding something problematic with him delivering a cake to a teacher.
JJ addressed the rumors regarding his health and future in the league after a brutal 2016 season defined by back surgery.
JJ WattI am not retiring
No, I'm not retiring. I feel great. You can put that on the ticker. But this last season was almost like a mini-retirement because with the back surgery, you're literally not allowed. There's a whole list of things you're not allowed to do.
He also provided some rare humility regarding his status on the NFL Top 100 list. Despite being one of the faces of the league, JJ was surprisingly honest about where he belongs on the list after missing significant time.
JJ WattYou can't be one of the best players on a team if you only played three games
I think last year, yeah, I would not – I mean, you only played three games. You can't be one of the best players on the team if you only played three games.
One of the most revealing moments came when JJ discussed the pressure of being a superstar and why he stopped sharing his personal goals. He admitted that the "Captain America" persona was partially fueled by a desire to show fans he was worth every penny of his contract.
JJ WattI will never publicly put out statistical goals again
Never put numbers out anymore because then all people do is bring up those numbers and they don't actually watch. I did that one year... and for the rest of that next season and beyond, everybody's like, well, he didn't hit it. And everybody compares you to that.
Humans vs. The Sun and Talking Thrones
After the interview, the show shifted into peak offseason mode. PFT is officially a Sun Truther. Following a fly ball error in a Rangers game, he went down a rabbit hole of NASA Instagram comments to find a conspiracy theory that really makes you think.
PFT CommenterThe Sun is not actually hot because space is cold
There's a big conspiracy theory out there that the sun is not actually hot. ... If the sun is hot, why is space cold? ... The sun is probably the biggest fraud of all time if it's cold. It just knows how to take flattering pictures of itself on Instagram.
The guys also touched on Talking Thrones, a segment where they discuss Game of Thrones without actually watching it. PFT finds the show’s structure fundamentally flawed for the male brain.
PFT CommenterGame of Thrones has too many storylines for a man to follow
I don't like how there's so many storylines that are simultaneously going. I'm a guy. I understand one thing happening. You're either angry or happy. That's why guys like porn so much. They're fucking. That's the storyline. And then it's over.
To wrap things up, the guys offered some PR 101 to Texans rookie Deontay Foreman following his arrest. PFT suggested that in Texas, the best way to handle a weapons charge is to lean into it as hard as possible.
PFT CommenterDeontay Foreman should become a Second Amendment activist to resolve his PR issues in Texas
This is a very on-brand thing in Texas, to have a gun. Everyone's got a gun in Texas. Just become a huge Second Amendment guy. Deontay Foreman should go into the Houston Chipotle with an AR-15 strapped over your shoulder. ... Then I'm sure you'll get all the NRA people just absolutely 100% having their back.
If you live in Wisconsin, keep your eyes peeled for the anonymous commercial on Judge Judy thanking the award-winning listeners for their charity work.
