PMT DB
PMT DB
The Packers got whomped at Lambeau, Max declared the Phillies' window dead, and Ari Emanuel walked into the studio ready to negotiate with everyone in sight. That is a pretty strong three-act structure before even getting to Hank refusing a picture with Scotty Scheffler.
The Packers Are In Trouble
Green Bay's home opener was less “statement game” and more “please stop, they're already dead.” Atlanta ran for 244 yards from its backs, the Packers managed 17, and Michael Penix immediately made the Falcons look like a functioning offense after two weeks of purgatory. Bijan Robinson was electric, Drake London looked like a true No. 1 receiver, and PFT got just bullish enough to put the NFC South on notice.
PFT CommenterThe Falcons can win the NFC South with Michael Penix
I think that the Falcons can win with him. He, I think that Stefanski is a good enough coach and I think that he's accurate enough and he's a good enough passer that they could win a good amount of football games with the rushing attack that they have. And if they have a half decent defense, I think he might be—I don't know that he's gonna be the guy that you would trade up for in the draft—but I think he's going to be a good enough quarterback where they should win that division.
Big Cat was less interested in Atlanta's flowers than Green Bay's body bag. Jordan Love was under siege, the offensive line looked like it had been assembled from people pulled out of the stands, and the Packers have now become the sort of team that makes you wonder whether the Jets win was actually impressive or just deeply misleading.
Big CatThe Packers might simply be a bad football team
The Packers might be that bad. Like they might just be that bad.
The Falcons' victory also produced a brief celebration-law seminar after Kyle Juszczyk was fined for pretending to chug a beer. Big Cat's proposed solution was simple: every player should fake a beer chug in solidarity. Roger Goodell probably already has a PowerPoint explaining why a fake beverage requires an 18th game.
Big CatThe NFL is becoming the No Fun League again
We're back to the no fun league. It's no fun league. Every player in solidarity should pretend to chug a beer in the end zone this weekend.
Baseball Clinches, Phillies Collapse
The Cubs and White Sox clinched within two minutes of each other, which briefly created the possibility of a Chicago World Series and a city-wide loss of emotional stability. PCA going 40-40 had Big Cat ready to hand over the National League MVP trophy immediately. Max, meanwhile, was trying to understand Philadelphia's magic number while also insisting that the Phillies are terrible, old and doomed.
MaxThe Phillies' competitive window is dead
Dead. All dead. All old. All suck.
That baseball section contained the full Max experience: anger, confusion, a brief refusal to acknowledge home-field advantage, and the certainty that the Padres would win the exact game he needed them to lose.
Week 3 Picks And Panic
The picks preview turned into a tour of teams already acting like the season is on fire. Big Cat likes the Chargers to survive the upcoming gauntlet, PFT thinks the Colts can beat the better Texans, and everyone agreed the Dolphins are either rebuilding or actively trying to become the worst team in football.
The Browns simulator was also unveiled, a horrifying document that has already labeled a future Steelers matchup “Game of the Century” and was somehow calling the Jets a trap game before September was over. This is what happens when a fan base wins one game and is given access to spreadsheets.
The most serious discussion came around Jayden Daniels' elbow. PFT wants Washington to stop gambling with its franchise quarterback, get the surgery done and start the clock. He also remains completely bought in on Daniels as the Commanders' long-term answer.
PFT CommenterJayden Daniels should get elbow surgery immediately
I personally would like Jayden to get the elbow surgery right now. And start that clock.
PFT CommenterJayden Daniels will be a very good quarterback
I'm more confident than I've been in a long time that Jayden's gonna be a very good quarterback and the answer for the future of the Commanders.
PFT then projected a possible 200-yard JSN game against Washington, which is exactly the kind of sentence that makes a Sunday slate more fun and a defensive coordinator's week substantially worse.
PFT CommenterJSN could have a 200-yard game against Washington
If [Mike Sainristil] is matched up against JSN and Drew Lock's slinging it back there, not afraid to take chances, we could see a 200-yard game from JSN this weekend.
Hank's Drake Maye faith survived another rough outing thanks to Glenn's latest NFL Tape Watch, which argued that Maye's interceptions were not his fault because defensive players occasionally have arms. The Patriots cover pick was delivered with full Cover Boy conviction. The episode also resurrected Big Ben's preseason prediction that Pittsburgh would score 30-plus points every game, a take that has not aged like a fine wine.
The Steelers will score 30-plus points every game
I believe that we have a good chance that we'll see 30-plus points every game this year. With Aaron, with this offense.
Ari Emanuel, Rage And The Business Of Being Right
Ari Emanuel brought the energy of a man who has never ended a phone call when he could simply hang up first. His new memoir, *The Relentless*, covers dyslexia, the mail room, building a rival agency, getting hit by a truck, and the time he grabbed a chair while confronting Michael Ovitz because he had run out of conventional negotiation tactics.
The dyslexia discussion was one of the best parts of the interview. Ari described learning to read as painful, then explained how getting through it shaped the free-thinking approach that powered his career.
Dyslexia can become a superpower
It does get you to freethink and when in business that is actually—you think differently. You think freely. You have different ways of attacking stuff. And that's, in my opinion, a superpower.
The conversation eventually moved from Hollywood to the future of sports. Ari sees live sports, music and events as the things AI cannot replace because humans are still social animals. Big Cat and PFT were more interested in whether private equity is slowly charging fans $40 for the privilege of being treated like a line item.
Big CatPrivate equity is bad for sports consumers
Private equity is bad for the consumer. You have to have a business. Why? Private equity tends to look around the margins where they can spend less money, decrease costs, increase profits. And that typically, more often than not, has resulted in the consumer paying more and it feeling like it's less about the fan.
Ari pushed back, arguing that private equity is not automatically bad and that commissioners can install guardrails. He also predicted an entertainment boom, a comedy comeback, and probably three more business opportunities before leaving the building. He tried to get Mark Davis on the phone for a future PMT interview, which is the kind of dealmaking that makes the 10% feel earned.
Fyre Fest Of The Week
Hank's Fyre Fest was refusing a picture with Scotty Scheffler after Big Cat called him into the room specifically for a picture with Scotty Scheffler. Hank immediately regretted it, then explained the awkward moment in enough detail to make it exponentially more awkward. The only possible resolution is a reshoot, preferably with Hank sprinting into frame before anyone can ask him a question.
PFT's phone is currently in hospice until the foldable iPhone arrives, Max may or may not eat a phone if the screen gets too large, and Shane's driver was sacrificed during an attempt to hit “fucking bombs.” The real emergency, however, was the rotting watermelon left in the grass clippings. Dante found it, opened the lid, and discovered a biological weapon made from fruit, condensation and flies.
PMT ended with a pointing war between Max and Hank, because even a studio upgrade cannot prevent two people from communicating exclusively through aggressive index fingers. The Packers may be dead, but the booth is very much alive and somehow getting more dangerous every week.
