PMT DB
PMT DB
Pat McAfee and Adam Vinatieri on Punting, Poker, and Piss Vampires
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are live from Las Vegas, and they aren't just there to clog hotel toilets and lose money on horse racing at Saratoga. The big news is the official introduction of the fourth member of the Pardon My Take crew: Larry the Goldfish. To ensure the show has a legitimate gambling edge this football season, the guys have entrusted their Super Contest picks to a fish.
PFT CommenterAnimals are better at gambling than humans
If there's one thing that I know about animals is that they're really good at gambling. You know how dogs can predict earthquakes? The octopus, he picked every single game [of the World Cup] correctly. So, yeah, Larry [the Goldfish] is going to absolutely kill it.
While the upside is a potential million-dollar payday for anyone who buys a PMT shirt and becomes a partial owner of Larry, there are some serious concerns about the "people’s goldfish" making it through the winter in a New York office.
PFT CommenterI would bet against Larry the Goldfish surviving for five months
If you were a betting person and you were to gamble on to whether or not we could keep a goldfish alive for five months, the answer is I would take no.
The Summer of Takes
The weekend was dominated by Colin Kaepernick’s decision to sit during the national anthem, and the guys had plenty of thoughts on the PR fallout. Big Cat, ever the low-T enthusiast, admitted he stands with Kaepernick simply because standing up for any reason is a chore. PFT looked deeper into the corporate implications, specifically how this affects Chip Kelly and the brand of the 49ers.
PFT CommenterIf Chip Kelly cuts Colin Kaepernick, he will be called a racist for the first time
And now if Chip Kelly cuts [Kaepernick], then for the first time is going to be called a racist. And that's not a look that Chip Kelly wants.
Beyond the football field, PFT floated a theory that the entire controversy might just be a high-level marketing play from Dr. Dre himself.
PFT CommenterThe Colin Kaepernick anthem protest is a viral marketing stunt for Beats by Dre
This is obviously a viral marketing stunt for Beats by Dre. We're going to find out there was a camera that was on Kaepernick on the sidelines. The National Anthem starts playing, puts the beats on, and 'I'm the man, I'm the man'. It's the sleekest beats design of all time. Nobody will even know that you're wearing them.
Mount Rushmore of Worst Cities
Being in Vegas—a city Big Cat describes as a mix of New Year’s Eve and a cruise ship—inspired a Mount Rushmore of the worst places in America. PFT took aim at the home of the "World’s Largest Clock Museum," which apparently can't even keep its own clocks on time.
PFT CommenterBristol, Connecticut is the worst city in the United States
Bristol, Connecticut. I'm not saying that because of ESPN. I'm saying that because I've actually been to Bristol. If you look at TripAdvisor's top ten things to do in Bristol... one is a water park... and then three out of the other top four are like a museum of clocks. A clock museum... And then another one is the Museum of Fire.
PFT also threw some shade at the Natural State, mostly because of the sovereign land bubble that follows Brett Bielema wherever he goes.
PFT CommenterArkansas is one of the worst states in the country
And then the very last one, I'm going to go with the state of Arkansas... I feel like everywhere Brett Bielema goes, the bubble around his body is sovereign land. He's not a part of any state.
Hank chimed in with a personal vendetta against a certain SEC college town where the nightlife consists of fast food and infectious eye diseases.
HankStarkville, Mississippi is one of the worst cities in America
Starkville, Mississippi. We went in the Dixie tour... I'm sure [Stingray Steve] agrees with me because literally all there is is a strip of fast food restaurants. Like, that's their nightlife. Bars closed at 12. We showed up there, and everyone on our bus got pink eye.
Big Cat rounded things out by turning on the city they were currently sitting in, arguing that the Vegas magic wears off about 36 hours after you land.
Big CatLas Vegas is a terrible city after the first 36 hours
Las Vegas. I fucking hate Las Vegas. Las Vegas is a great city to visit the first time you visit for the first day and a half that you're here. And then you realize that it's basically a mix of New Year's Eve and a cruise ship. And no one wants to be on either of those things.
Pat McAfee and the Legend of Adam Vinatieri
Pro Bowl punter Pat McAfee joined the show to discuss why the fourth preseason game is actually the most dangerous time of the year for a specialist. It turns out that when roster spots are on the line, guys are willing to commit assault to get a block on tape.
Pat McAfeePreseason Game 4 is a nightmare for punters because everyone is selling out to block a kick to make the team
Game four is what we like to call a nightmare... Because it's a lot easier to block a punt than it is to block for a punt. And the big selling point in all NFL camps is if you block a kick, you're going to make this team... You got guys selling out to block kicks.
McAfee also shared the incredible story of how he actually made it to the NFL. It involves an underground poker game in Pittsburgh, a $100 loan, and a 65-yard field goal in front of West Virginia scouts.
Pat McAfeeI only got a college scholarship because I won $1,400 in an underground poker game
I went to this underground game in Pittsburgh. I borrowed 100 bucks from one of my friends... I had jack nine... I caught a full house... I end up having $1,400. My dad spots me the other $100. I go down to the camp. I kick a 65-yard field goal... Tony Gibson from West Virginia University is there. 'You want a scholarship to West Virginia?'... without that tournament happening, [I have] no chance.
The interview took a turn toward the NFL's drug testing policy, with McAfee explaining the "random" timing of his tests and his unique perspective on Commissioner Roger Goodell’s fascination with his hydration levels.
Pat McAfeeRoger Goodell is basically a piss vampire
I just happen to have a cannon attached to my hip. Roger Goodell just can't fathom it. He needs my piss... my leg's gonna fall off soon... but I'm on no drugs so Roger Goodell is basically just a vampire sustained by piss and he just has to keep going back and drinking it from you.
In a legendary moment, McAfee called his teammate Adam Vinatieri live on the air. The greatest kicker of all time dropped a massive bombshell about his retirement timeline, suggesting the end of his historic career is finally in sight.
Adam VinatieriI will play a maximum of three more years of football
The end's in sight, but we'll see. Maximum would be three years. Minimum would be [one].
Segments
During a quick Sabermetrics session, Big Cat analyzed the Kansas City Royals' success with a praying mantis in their dugout. While mascots are great, Big Cat argued that the only way to truly guarantee a championship is a much darker sacrifice.
Big CatA sports team needs their mascot dog to die in order to win a championship
I'm a firm believer that the dog needs to die for your team to do well. Seriously, you need to get the dog, love the dog, have the dog die, win one for the dog.
The guys also checked in on Tony Romo’s latest injury. While a broken back is usually bad news, Big Cat sees a silver lining in the Cowboys' new mobile quarterback, Dak Prescott.
Big CatDak Prescott is a speedster who will redefine the quarterback position
I've done a little scouting on Dak Prescott... Athletic, mobile. He's going to redefine the quarterback position. He's a speedster. I don't know if we've ever seen an athlete like Dak Prescott back there. He's instinctive. He's not a thinker.
Finally, the show reached a chaotic conclusion during Hot in the Streets with Hank. The internet was buzzing about a viral video involving a McChicken sandwich, leading to a discussion about the most "functional" sandwiches in the fast-food world.
HankThe McChicken is the most fuckable sandwich
I think number one's got to be the McChicken. It's like the Lance Armstrong of fuckable sandwiches. [The guy in the video] destigmatized fucking the McChicken.
If you see a guy at McDonald's looking at a chicken sandwich with a little too much intent this week, just walk the other way.
