PMT DB
PMT DB
Whitney and Yandle on McDavid’s Future and the Mt. Rushmore of Punchable Faces
We’re back from a week of golf and the vibes are at an all-time high, even if the sleep levels for Max and Memes are at a dangerous zero. Big Cat and PFT hit the ground running with the NBA Draft, where Cooper Flagg finally officially became the savior of white American basketball. While everyone is crying on stage, Big Cat is busy doing the math on just how much money Maine’s finest is about to secure.
Big CatCooper Flagg could make close to a billion dollars in the NBA by age 32
If everything goes well for [Cooper Flagg] and he signs all of his extensions and everything... he could make close to a billion dollars in the NBA by age 32. He has a $62 million rookie deal... then he'd get the 30% supermax, which would be $359 million. And then he would get the 35% supermax, which would be $509 million.
PFT is already looking ahead to the power dynamics in the West, though he’s looking at it through a very specific lens of "Wizards Curiosity." He’s not a fan yet, but he’s experimenting. However, for the Wizards to actually succeed, PFT thinks they need to abandon the magic and embrace their lethal roots.
PFT CommenterThe Wizards must change their name back to the Bullets to fix their culture
They need to change their name so bad. They gotta go back to the bullets. I think you go back to the bullets day one, culture change, different mentality. Your shooters again.
The draft wasn't without its massive blunders, specifically the Pelicans deciding to give up unprotected firsts to move up ten spots in a weak draft. Big Cat was baffled by the move, noting that if the Bucks eventually trade Giannis, the Pelicans basically handed over two golden tickets for nothing.
Big CatThe Pelicans' trade from pick 23 to 13 was the worst trade ever
Pelicans. Oh boy. Yep. That was the worst trade ever. They traded from 23 up to 13 and they gave away their unprotected first round pick next year. Actually worse than that. They have the Bucks pick as well. Whichever one is better, is higher. And if the Bucks trade Giannis, that could literally just be two shots at getting the one pick... I don't know what Joe Dumars was thinking. It's a fleecing.
The Sign of Summer and Panther Irons
There are certain milestones in the sports calendar that just signify a change in seasons. The Master’s commercial means spring, and a specific Instagram video of a certain Brooklyn Net means summer has officially arrived. Big Cat and PFT couldn't help but feel the warmth of July as they watched the annual ritual of Ben Simmons hitting uncontested jumpers.
Big CatBen Simmons hitting threes in a wide-open gym is the official sign of summer
We have the first sign of summer and it's Ben Simmons in a wide open gym hitting threes. He looked good. He looked so good... That's, that literally means summer's here.
In a classic "Embrace Debate" moment, Big Cat brought a thought-provoking scenario to the table regarding Tiger Woods. It turns out the name "Tiger" does a lot of heavy lifting for his reputation. If he had been named Panther Irons, PFT is convinced the world would have seen the real man much sooner.
Big CatIf Tiger Woods were named Panther Irons, he would have been outed as a sex deviant much earlier and his career would be totally different
Do you think Tiger Woods' career would be the same if he was named Panther Irons? If Panther Irons gets outed as a sex deviant very early in his career, is there a chance Panther Irons just is like, now that everyone knows, I'm just gonna lean into just being a guy who sucks and fucks all the time... then his back doesn't get hurt.
Ryan Whitney and Keith Yandle Join the Show
Our good friends Ryan Whitney and Keith Yandle sat down to break down the aftermath of the Stanley Cup Finals. Whitney is still recovering from the Oilers' loss, admitting he was quietly singing Pink Pony Club to keep from crying. The conversation naturally turned to Connor McDavid and whether the greatest player in the world can actually finish the job in Edmonton. Yandle has his doubts about the location.
Keith YandleConnor McDavid will win a Stanley Cup, but it will not be in Edmonton
Can [Connor McDavid] win the big one? Yes. Not in Edmonton. Oh, okay. I like that. That's a good take.
Whitney didn't hold back on why the Oilers fell short, pointing directly at the man between the pipes. You can’t win a Cup when your goalie is getting pulled in back-to-back postseasons. Meanwhile, the Panthers are looking like a wagon that won't stop rolling, especially if they can keep their core together.
Ryan WhitneyThe Edmonton Oilers cannot win a Stanley Cup with their current goaltending
I said on Chiclets, like they don't have a goalie that you can win the Stanley Cup with. Now, once again, they were one game away from winning the cup with him... But if your starting goalie is getting pulled and losing his job in back to back playoffs, I don't think you have a Stanley Cup goalie. No.
Ryan WhitneyThe Florida Panthers will win two more Stanley Cups if they bring back Sam Bennett and Jonathan Marchessault
I think Florida's not going anywhere. Realistically they could play again. If they get Marchessault and Bennett back, I still think they'll be fine. If they come back, they're probably gonna win two more.
Beyond the current NHL landscape, the guys talked about the future of the sport. Whitney has a wild vision for a "Shohei Ohtani of Hockey"—an ambidextrous player who will eventually break the game by switching hands mid-rush.
Ryan WhitneyThe NHL will have an ambidextrous 'Shohei Ohtani' player within 30 years
I think we're gonna get the Shohei of hockey. The Shohei Ohtani ambidextrous NHL player that would rock... You'd have the straight stick and then you drive wide and be unreal Righty. And you'd drive wide and be unreal lefty. I just think that at some point you're gonna see things that you never thought imaginable.
Mount Rushmore of Guys You Want to Punch in the Face
This was a heavy hitter. The categories ranged from historical villains to annoying internet personalities. Hank and PFT led off with the "Line Cutter," while Big Cat and Zac took the "Adult Autograph Seeker" who elbows kids out of the way. But when it came to the internet age, there was one name that everyone agreed was the ultimate 1-1.
Big CatJack Doherty is a '1-1' pick for people who need to be punched in the face
Jack Doherty's our pick. That guy needs to get punched so fucking bad. I several times I consume his work, I just see him on Twitter and I hate him. He goes around with his bodyguards fucking with people... as far as internet people go, he's 1-1.
Other notable picks included Martin Shkreli, people who are rude to service workers, and the Limu Emu (mostly for the annoying jingle). PFT even threw in a spite pick for Kylian Mbappé after learning about his lawsuit for being "lofted."
PFT CommenterKylian Mbappé suing for 'lofting' is a loser move that confirms he is a bad hang
I Mbappé is suing PSG still for $60 million in unpaid wages. And he also claims that PSG lofted him... It involves isolating or leaving a player out from the main squad... it sounds like he's a bad hang. He might be suing PSG for being a loser... his lawsuit should be thrown out immediately because if you sue for lofting, you're actually immediately saying, 'this is why I got lofted.'
Fyre Fest of the Week
Fyre Fest was a disaster of technology and dietary choices. Max and Memes lived through a literal nightmare when they thought they lost the entire recording of the show due to a faulty SD card. Hank’s Fyre Fest was a self-inflicted wound involving a large cheese pizza and immediate, soul-crushing heartburn. Finally, Zac warned us all about the dangers of the "Liver King" lifestyle, noting that raw meat might be the direct path to terroristic threats.
ZacEating raw meat can lead to a psychotic break, as evidenced by the Liver King's recent behavior
Did you guys see that [the Liver King] was arrested for terroristic threats? Telling Joe Rogan that we're gonna drive to the house, maybe two to the chest, one to the head... I would just like to say don't eat raw meat because of that's what can happen. You can have a psychotic break.
Just remember to eat your carbs and stay away from Joe Rogan’s house if you've been snacking on raw testicles.
