PMT DB
PMT DB
The 2018 Takies featuring Blake Bortles and Paul Bissonnette
The 2018 Takies have finally arrived, even if the timeline for our annual awards ceremony has drifted further from the ESPYs than a Rick Reilly analogy. But before Big Cat and PFT Commenter could get to the hardware, they had to address the elephant in the room: accidentally starting a legitimate NBA Twitter war between friend of the program CJ McCollum and the most online man in professional sports, Kevin Durant.
Big Cat and PFT broke down how a simple question about Durant's "softness" during a CJ interview led to a viral back-and-forth that culminated in KD lashing out about CJ's "fucking podcast." While KD continues to battle everyone from fans to peers, Big Cat found a silver lining in the superstar's inability to ignore a mention.
Big CatKevin Durant is thin-skinned but owning up to it makes him relatable
[Durant] can be a thin-skinned B-word, and he also can be very real and actually kind of owning up to the fact that he's a thin-skinned B-word, which I do respect. It makes him so much more relatable. The fact that he deals with the same problems that we deal with.
With the JJ Watt saga seemingly in the rearview mirror, the quest for the next great elusive guest has a new target.
Big CatKevin Durant should be the new 'White Whale' guest for PMT
People always ask our white whale once we got J.J. Watt. Now Kevin Durant's our white whale. It's got to be. Kevin Durant is now in a position where I really do think if he came on, it would be a win for him.
NFL Training Camp and Man Cards
Football is technically back, which means it's time to overreact to every 10-yard out route caught against air. PFT Commenter is already sounding the alarm on the New York Giants' first-round pick after a single training camp clip.
PFT CommenterSaquon Barkley is a bust for dropping a pass in training camp
Saquon Barkley dropped a pass from Eli Manning. Oh, no. Bust. Oh, no. Yeah. Ooh, that's pretty bad.
While Saquon is being fitted for a bust jacket, Ryan Tannehill is leaning into the "Tannehill 2.0" narrative with a knee brace that Big Cat is convinced is powered by future-tech.
Big CatThis is the year Ryan Tannehill finally takes the next step
The Ryan Tannehill knee brace, Tannehill 2.0. He is really leaning into this is the year that Ryan Tannehill takes the big step, the next step. I think it's awesome that wearable technology has gotten to the point where a quarterback can have their total QBR on their actual equipment.
This week's Mount Rushmore focused on things we love that should probably get our man cards revoked. Hank stayed true to his brand by defending high school dramas and sugary beverages, specifically advocating for the refreshing taste of rosé cider.
HankRosé cider is delicious despite being a 'chick drink'
Rosé cider. Kind of a chick drink, but it's just so delicious. I could drink it any day. Sometimes the ones in the can have a lot of sugar, though, so I try and go out of my way to find one with low sugar.
Big Cat followed suit, admitting that while he's a grown man, he isn't above the drama of Bravo's premier franchises.
Big CatWatching the Real Housewives and the OC is okay
I'm a little more grown up, I do happen to watch and enjoy from time to time the Real Housewives series. Only the New York. Atlanta? I like Atlanta. Crazy. Countess? Crazy.
The 2018 Takie Awards
The ceremony featured 19 prestigious categories, including Brian Colangelo taking home Burner Account of the Year. Big Cat suggested that the former Sixers GM's downfall wasn't the burners themselves, but his refusal to lean into his signature style.
Big CatBrian Colangelo would have kept his job if he had simply leaned into the 'big collar' narrative
If [Brian Colangelo] had just leaned into the collar narrative a little more, I think he would have gotten away with it. Been like, hey, like worn just like a Pee Wee Herman sized collar at his press conference where he gets fired.
For Year of the Year, PFT Commenter made sure his Washington Capitals were properly honored for a run that he believes transcends historical greatness.
PFT CommenterThe 2018 Washington Capitals were a dynasty and perhaps the best hockey team ever assembled
The Washington Capitals. So the Caps year wins year of the year. Truly a magical run. A dynasty. Maybe the best hockey team of all time ever assembled. Great coaching, great executing, great fans.
Paul Bissonnette joined the show to accept the Canadian of the Year award, though he spent most of his time explaining why being from the Great White North is basically a social cheat code.
Paul BissonnetteBeing Canadian is a major advantage when traveling because people automatically assume you are nice
Being Canadian, it is nice when you travel, especially to other countries. Like already people are like, when you say you're Canadian, you already get the benefit of doubt where they're like, oh, you're Canadian, so you have to be nice. ... already have that negative connotation of thinking [Americans] might be a piece of shit.
The most anticipated award of the night, Blake of the Year, came down to a high-stakes telephone race. Blake Bortles managed to answer the phone in a blistering 11.7 seconds, narrowly defeating a silent Blake Griffin. Bortles, ever the professional, accepted the award while fresh off the can during his first day of training camp.
Finally, Mr Portnoy delivered a legendary Complaint of the Year that had nothing to do with technology and everything to do with a specific Chrysler 300 driver in a Boston tunnel.
Mr. PortnoyA guy in a white Chrysler 300 is the breakdown of society
This guy in this white Chrysler 300 sedan... He now decides he's going to go back into the fast lane. I decided, you know, this is an allegory for a breakdown in society. All right? Here I am. I'm a very calm person. But when you abuse me like this, I'm not letting him in.
As the guys looked ahead to next year, PFT offered a frighteningly plausible prediction for what Skip Bayless will be screaming about by next July.
PFT CommenterSkip Bayless will blame LeBron James for destroying the American education system
Skip Bayless for saying that LeBron James is destroying the American educational system by making children stay up too late to watch West Coast games. Ruining America's future. He'll deputize himself to be the watchdog and guardian of America.
Congratulations to all the award-winning listeners for the three-peat.
