PMT DB
PMT DB
Von Miller on Fart Fines, Chicken Farming, and Peyton Manning
The MLB playoffs have been hit with a rain-out, and Dusty Baker is out here losing his mind while Strasburg is supposedly sidelined by "mold." Big Cat and PFT are fiending for some sports action, so naturally, we get an emergency Mount Rushmore of rainy day activities. While Hank thinks baking cookies is a legitimate rainy day move, PFT is sticking to the classics: opening the windows to hear the rain and taking an unintentional nap. The absence of football on a Tuesday is clearly getting to everyone, leading to some radical proposals for the schedule.
PFT CommenterNFL teams should have a college game ready to play on 12 hours notice if a baseball playoff game gets rained out
So why doesn't the Sun Belt... [if] there's a rain out of an important baseball game, they should have a game ready to go on 12 hours notice.
Speaking of baseball misery, the Red Sox are looking like a team that’s ready to pack it in. Hank is already in his feelings about the bullpen management, even if Big Cat thinks a manager getting tossed is the spark they need.
Big CatA manager getting ejected rallies the team like a big hit in hockey
When a manager gets kicked out, it rallies the troops like a big hit in hockey.
Von Miller Joins the Show
Denver Broncos superstar and Super Bowl MVP Von Miller joins us to talk about his life as a "chicken dad" and the best defensive player in the league. We start with the hard-hitting journalism, like whether his parents actually meant to name him Donnie and which of his 70 chickens are named after teammates. He also settles the oldest debate in history with some help from a higher power.
Von MillerThe chicken definitely came before the egg because God just created the bird first
I think it had to be the chicken. How did that chicken get made if there was going to be an egg? ... I feel like [God] just created the chicken and boom, the egg was next.
Von isn't just a farmer; he's also a student of the game who claims the Broncos' defense starts winning before the kickoff even happens. He spends his weeks watching film and even spent his bye week on the sidelines of other games just to soak it in.
Von MillerNFL players already fear the Broncos defense before the game even starts
Before we go in the game, we're already in the heads. ... When you turn the film and you see Broncos defense play, I think that automatically gets in quarterback's heads. ... You can watch an interview and you can kind of [smell fear].
He also gave some massive props to his former teammate, Peyton Manning, calling him the greatest to ever do it at the line of scrimmage. He also had some surprising praise for a division rival currently tearing up the league.
Von MillerThere has never been a quarterback better at playing the position than Peyton Manning
When it comes to quarterback, being a quarterback and quarterbacking in the National Football League, there hasn't been a quarterback better than Peyton Manning. ... coming up to the line, being a quarterback, there's not a greater quarterback than Peyton Manning.
Von MillerAlex Smith is playing at an MVP level this season
Alex Smith is playing MVP-type football right now. ... you go down the line and they have stars everywhere.
We also touched on the legendary "fart fines" in the Broncos' meeting rooms. Von admitted he’s shelled out roughly $15,000 for his digestive issues. He’s tried to bribe the defensive line to stop reporting him, but apparently, his farts have their own identity and are impossible to hide. Despite the allergies and the fines, Von is still out here terrorizing quarterbacks, even if he refuses to put his hand in the dirt.
Von MillerIf I played offense I would be a tight end because I know how to beat defensive coverages
I'd probably be a tight end. That's a position that I know. I guard tight ends every single day. ... I understand what works, what doesn't work, how to beat the guys on defense because that's where my foundation is.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hot Seat is spicy this week with the city of Philadelphia taking a hit. While the Eagles are flying high, the guys are worried about the massive investment the Sixers just made in a guy who might have more tweets than healthy minutes on the court.
HankJoel Embiid is a bad contract because his knees won't let him play
They just paid Joel Embiid like $150 million, even though his knees are terrible and he's probably not going to play.
On the Cool Throne, we’ve got a potential blockbuster trade scenario that would send Eli Manning to a familiar face down south. PFT is also tracking the New Orleans backfield where a change of guard has finally happened after the Adrian Peterson era ended as quickly as it began.
PFT CommenterEli Manning might get traded to the Jaguars to reunite with Tom Coughlin
Do you hear this one about Eli Manning maybe getting traded to the Jaguars? Because Tom Coughlin. Think about it.
PFT CommenterMark Ingram has officially won the lead role in the Saints backfield over Adrian Peterson
Mark Ingram... he won the battle of who's going to be the bigger head on the two-headed running back committee in New Orleans... Adrian Peterson is out in Arizona.
Big Cat also declared the "Golden Age" of podcasts officially dead. It’s been a good run, but once you start seeing New York Times wedding announcements for couples starting wedding planning podcasts, you know the shark has been jumped.
Big CatThe 'Golden Age' of podcasts is over now that people are making wedding planning podcasts
The couple that met because one was a fan of his podcast and then they're getting married and they're creating a podcast together about going through the wedding planning. That right there is like if you could think of the most stereotypical podcast podcast. It is over, boys. It is all done.
Talking Soccer and Wrap Up
In the saddest Talking Soccer segment ever recorded, the guys react to the US Men's National Team failing to qualify for the World Cup. It's a dark day for American footy, and the guys are looking for anyone to blame, specifically calling for a total overhaul of the leadership.
Since we won't have the US in Russia, PFT suggests we just start sending our best overall athletes to the pitch to see if raw talent can overcome a lack of soccer fundamentals.
PFT CommenterLeBron James should play for the US Men's Soccer team
LeBron actually should play for us. If you were to take the best NFL athletes... could the Chiefs qualify for the World Cup under the instruction of Andy Reid?
We wrap up with Guys on Chicks where we learn about the "alligator fuckhouse" and why guys are physically incapable of replacing a toilet paper roll.
Just remember, if you have chlamydia, it’s basically just a game of tag.
