Von Miller

LeBron James should play for the US Men's Soccer team

LeBron actually should play for us. If you were to take the best NFL athletes... could the Chiefs qualify for the World Cup under the instruction of Andy Reid?

US Soccer needs to fire Bruce Arena and clean house after failing to qualify for the World Cup

I'm going to say Bruce Arena. That guy's been around forever. Get the fuck out of here, man. ... GM, clean house.

The Red Sox are officially done and finished

Is it time to push the panic button? Would you say that the Red Sox are done or finished? Ah, they're done.

A manager getting ejected rallies the team like a big hit in hockey

When a manager gets kicked out, it rallies the troops like a big hit in hockey.

Theo Epstein's Cubs strategy includes installing black mold in the visitor's clubhouse

If you know anything about Theo Epstein, his plan is to draft impact bats, find pitchers in the free agent market, and install black mold in the visitor's clubhouse.

Joel Embiid is a bad contract because his knees won't let him play

They just paid Joel Embiid like $150 million, even though his knees are terrible and he's probably not going to play.

Eli Manning might get traded to the Jaguars to reunite with Tom Coughlin

Do you hear this one about Eli Manning maybe getting traded to the Jaguars? Because Tom Coughlin. Think about it.

Mark Ingram has officially won the lead role in the Saints backfield over Adrian Peterson

Mark Ingram... he won the battle of who's going to be the bigger head on the two-headed running back committee in New Orleans... Adrian Peterson is out in Arizona.

The 'Golden Age' of podcasts is over now that people are making wedding planning podcasts

The couple that met because one was a fan of his podcast and then they're getting married and they're creating a podcast together about going through the wedding planning. That right there is like if you could think of the most stereotypical podcast podcast. It is over, boys. It is all done.

The chicken definitely came before the egg

I think it had to be the chicken. How did that chicken get made if there was going to be an egg? ... I feel like [God] just created the chicken and boom, the egg was next.

Alex Smith is playing at an MVP level this season

Alex Smith is playing MVP-type football right now. ... you go down the line and they have stars everywhere.

There has never been a quarterback better at playing the position than Peyton Manning

When it comes to quarterback, being a quarterback and quarterbacking in the National Football League, there hasn't been a quarterback better than Peyton Manning. ... coming up to the line, being a quarterback, there's not a greater quarterback than Peyton Manning.

If I played offense I would be a tight end because I know how to beat defensive coverages

I'd probably be a tight end. That's a position that I know. I guard tight ends every single day. ... I understand what works, what doesn't work, how to beat the guys on defense because that's where my foundation is.

Mark Sanchez running into someone's butt is the only thing that can heal the world right now

We need Mark Sanchez to run into someone's butt. That's the only thing that can bring this world back together. ... run the butt fumble play every single down until it happens.

Sam Bradford is officially 'injured' because wear and tear on a knee is a significant injury

I'm going to say this is actually injured. Like, wear and tear is, that's significant. That's a full injury.