Hard Knocks sucks this season

We have watch hard knocks and it sucks. And I don't know what we're doing, but we're here for the people, right? That is our dedication to you.

Cam Newton is no longer a starting-caliber quarterback

I don't think he's a starter. He wasn't a, he wasn't good enough to be a starter. I mean, he was a starter last year, but he wasn't, he didn't play like one for the majority of the year. I objectively think cam Newton's good anymore. He objectively was bad for the majority of last season.

Cam Newton would still be on the Patriots if he were vaccinated

I think if cam Newton was vaccinated, he'd still be on the team.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.