Scott Frost is officially on the hot seat after the onside kick against Northwestern

Scott Frost has been doing Scott Frost on the hot seat already. If he wasn't going into the season, he is now. ... What are they going to do this year to fuck themselves over? Oh, how about go up by 11 and then try an onside kick when you have all the momentum?

Chicken wings are not a good leftover

As a man that loves chicken wings, who would like to be buried under six feet of chicken wings when I die, I will be the first to tell you that chicken wings are not a good leftover.

I am 100% on Aaron Donald's side because I want to be on the right side of history when the robots take over

Aaron Donald should be allowed to do [whatever he wants]. ... I'm 100% on Aaron Donald's side. ... I'm very much on the side, just like I'm on the side of the robots that will eventually take over this planet. I want to be on the right side of history. Next time I find myself in a room with Aaron Donald, I want him to know that I do not hold this against him. I'm on your side no matter what. Please don't hurt me, Mr. Donald.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.