Juan Soto is Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds combined

I'm gonna miss him. [Juan Soto] is 23. He's Ted Williams. He might be better than Ted Williams. He's Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds combined.

The Washington Nationals were never going to re-sign Juan Soto

The Nationals were never going to re-sign him. So you've got a lot... the Padres aren't going to re-sign him. The Yankees are, the Dodgers are the only two teams that are going to afford Juan Soto.

Juan Soto will get a $500 million contract in free agency

The reality of the situation is that in a couple years time, when he does become a free agent, he's going to get a contract that's far going to eclipse what the Nationals offered. It's going to be $500 million. It's going to be the Dodgers or the A's—he's going to get paid a shitload of money.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.